If older or had trouble TTC, how long did you wait to try for next DC?

[Anonymous]

Title says it all - how long after birth did you start trying for a subsequent child? I know common advice says to wait at least 12-18 months, but if you are older and/or had a lot of difficulty trying to conceive the first time, that seems like an eternity. Curious how others have approached the decision. Will have this conversation with my doctor, of course, as well.

[Anonymous]

What's the shortest age span that you think you could handle? There's no medical reason why you can't start trying as early as 6-8 weeks after birth. I think 6 months is pretty common, judging by the number of families I know with kids about 1.5-2 years apart. Waiting 18 months is ridiculous if you think that you'll have trouble conceiving.
My true story: got pregnant immediately with #1. Wanted kids about 2 years apart, so waited until the oldest was one to start trying again. Secondary infertility, miscarriage followed. Had #2 eventually, but the kiddos are 5.5 years apart.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of X-factors here, so definitely talk to your doctor. How many kids do you want? How was your pregnancy? Delivery? C section or vaginal? How was the postpartum period for you? What's the shortest age span you think you can handle? How important is it to have another kid? How old are you? Do you want more than two? Are you nursing and has your period returned? If you are and it hasn't, how important is it to you to continue nursing?

For me personally - it took seven months to conceive my first, despite temping/charting/ovulation sticks, the works. I was 35, so I went right in to a fertility clinic at the 6 month mark and got pregnant naturally during the initial testing (whew). He was born vaginally when I was 35. We knew we wanted at least two kids, probably three, potentially four. We would have been very upset if we'd had to stop at one for fertility reasons. We decided only to prevent Irish twins - that seemed like too much for my body and our sanity, but that once our first was four months old, we'd at least stop preventing and see what happened. When he was six months old, still no sign of my period, so I weaned and we started back with the temping/charting/etc. Only took three months after weaning was complete to get pregnant, and my two kids are 19 months apart.

I would say in general, I would avoid Irish twins if you can. That's just too much on your body, IMHO. While people think the fertility cliff is at 35, in reality, it's not a cliff as much as a more gradual decrease over time, but the biggest drop off is after 37, so keep your age in mind.

I don't have any regrets, the risk of not having a second was just too big. But I will say that I had a raging case of PPD after my second was born, and honestly, sometimes I think having the kids so close together may have contributed to that. Essentially, I "outsmarted" my body by weaning to formula to have another baby. If I had waited and weaned more naturally later, presumably I'd have had the second later, and there's something to the fact that, at least for me and my body, that's how it "should" have been. I'm basing that on nothing though, it's just something I think about.

We'll give it a bit more time, but will probably at least try for a third, though I'll likely be close to 40 before I feel I have the bandwidth. A fourth is off the table at this point.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP. My first took 6 minutes despite temping and tracking ovulation. Waited for 2 years and was never able to carry a pregnancy successfully again. It was devastating and I really regret waiting so long. 6-12 months of TTC is normal if you’re not paying close attention to your cycle, but in hindsight it was a sign that things were not in good shape and time was running out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. My first took 6 minutes despite temping and tracking ovulation. Waited for 2 years and was never able to carry a pregnancy successfully again. It was devastating and I really regret waiting so long. 6-12 months of TTC is normal if you’re not paying close attention to your cycle, but in hindsight it was a sign that things were not in good shape and time was running out.

I was in my early 30s when I started trying for a second. If your clock is running out, it’s running out regardless of what the norm is for others.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 36, started trying again at 38 and went to see RE. She agreed to go straight to IVF if we didn't conceive naturally within the following 3 months. She looked at my numbers and history of easily conceiving and felt confident it would happen if we temped and used OPK. She ended up being right and I delivered at 39.

[Anonymous]

Started trying after about six months. Got pregnant a few months later, miscarried, got pg with #2 about six months after that. Kids are 2.5 years apart.

[Anonymous]

Had my first at 35 and waited a year. I was not ready for another child at that point. I tried the old fashioned way for a year and then went straight to IVF. Had my second at 38.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 31 (conceived on first try) and waited 15 months before trying for #2 (changed jobs, moved, no childcare while working during COVID…). Got pregnant on second try at 33 and miscarried at 9 weeks (didn’t have a D&C). Tried again after getting my period back 2 months later and conceived on the second try. Had baby #2 at 34. Want to try for #3 when #2 is 2 (I’ll be 36, but with demanding jobs and 2 young kids it feels like too much to try before #2 is at least 15 months), but worried I’ll run into fertility problems and regret waiting. My husband is fine trying for #3 but is also happy with 2. I’m going to try to use the time in the next 8-12 months (#2 is 7 months now) to interrogate if I would be ok with 2. I’ve always wanted 3, but for many reasons 2 may make more sense for our family.

[Anonymous]

Tried for number 1 at 34, finally got pregnant and gave birth at 36 (no IVF). I started tying for a second when I was 38 and my first was 12 months, and I conceived within two cycles. Our kids are 22 months apart, which is a great age gap, but things were very hectic for awhile.

[Anonymous]

We waiting just over 1 year and have been trying now for 10 months. We've had multiple losses, some late, in that time. It's been heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

My first took 6 years of trying and my second took 1 month. They are 2 years apart. I'm glad I followed the advice to wait at least 12 months. I think it was 16 months when we started trying again. I was 37.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to start TTC at nine months but the doctors strongly recommended I wait until 12 months (and since I needed to do IUIs, their opinion was unfortunately relevant). I actually actually had good luck conceiving #2 but I was so sure it was going to take 6+ months again. In my case, early 30s but make factor infertility, which may have contributed to the medical recommendation to wait.

[Anonymous]

We started at 16 months conceived right away, 2nd trimester loss and another loss makes up our year of TTC and still not successful

[Anonymous]

Had our first, who was conceived the first month trying, at 32. Conceived second at 33 when first baby was 18 months. Again, no issues. Then, we decided to try for a third when I was 36 and our second had turned two. We would’ve tried sooner but delayed things due to the pandemic. We conceived easily again but lost two pregnancies to TFMR and an early miscarriage. We consulted an RE and considered IVF since I was 37 but my numbers were good and the doctors felt that we would likely have success. We conceived our third shortly after fertility testing, and that baby was born 7 weeks ago! So, while we had no issues conceiving, it did take longer to have our third, perhaps due to age or bad luck. That said, my older two are 4 and 6, and those ages have been great with our newborn.