What does your husband or wife reserve for just you?

[Anonymous]

I just feel like outside of intercourse, there is nothing that my DH reserves for just the two of us. Is this normal? I guess I just want to feel important or special and I don’t really feel that.

[Anonymous]

What kind of thing are you seeking?

[Anonymous]

Not sure what this means. Secrets? Sharing life plans with SO before anyone else?

Never really thought about.

[Anonymous]

A mind blowing BJ kinda thing?

[Anonymous]

Exhibit 1 of "Why guys can't win"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of thing are you seeking?

OP here. I just want things to be reserved for the two of us. It could be watching a certain TV show, going out once a month for ice cream just the two of us, an activity, talking about certain private or intimate things, anything. We don’t share anything with us two. Everything we do or discuss is also discussed with family, our oldest child, etc. I just don’t feel special.

[Anonymous]

- We have a weekly date night even if work is busy. I let other things go (house being perfectly clean, dishes being 100% washed every day etc) to make sure it happens.

- We regularly go on trips just the two of us with grandparents babysitting. At least 2x a year, usually more like quarterly.

- We have a standing coffee date at home every morning. No kid allowed. I hate waking up early but I love waking up early for it.

[Anonymous]

Health discussions. I'm the only one who truly knows about his health issues.

Comments about our teens. Honest discussions can happen because we are always going to love them and can objectively see the good and bad.

Financial discussions and goals.

Cuddling on the couch, holding hands, other forms of affection outside of intercourse.

[Anonymous]

Date nights and one annual only-us trip. But my husband isn’t the one “reserving” those things of course. It’s a joint effort.

[Anonymous]

Rage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of thing are you seeking?

OP here. I just want things to be reserved for the two of us. It could be watching a certain TV show, going out once a month for ice cream just the two of us, an activity, talking about certain private or intimate things, anything. We don’t share anything with us two. Everything we do or discuss is also discussed with family, our oldest child, etc. I just don’t feel special.

Here's a quote you should know: You're only the main character in your storyline. Wake up. You have a family. You're not the most important person anymore. You sound immature and the things you silted are just date type things. What's so "special" you need?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- We have a weekly date night even if work is busy. I let other things go (house being perfectly clean, dishes being 100% washed every day etc) to make sure it happens.

- We regularly go on trips just the two of us with grandparents babysitting. At least 2x a year, usually more like quarterly.

- We have a standing coffee date at home every morning. No kid allowed. I hate waking up early but I love waking up early for it.

This is so sweet! I just crave intimacy in other ways and long for the special small moments like your standing coffee date. He just doesn’t see the importance and calls me jealous or says I need to be center of attention. He just doesn’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Health discussions. I'm the only one who truly knows about his health issues.

Comments about our teens. Honest discussions can happen because we are always going to love them and can objectively see the good and bad.

Financial discussions and goals.

Cuddling on the couch, holding hands, other forms of affection outside of intercourse.

I love this! I think one of my biggest issues is we don’t have any private discussions. For example, we’ll be upgrading our home soon and he shares all of the details with his parents and our oldest child. Like, it’s not a secret per se but I don’t feel like they need to know when we’re qualifying and all of the small details.

[Anonymous]

I don't think he tells anyone else how much he worries about his employees. He and his partner bend over backwards to be good employers and make the work environment pleasant, but he always worries about losing good employees, or their happiness or stress levels, etc.

He talks to me (maybe also his mom?) about how upset he is regarding his relationship with his sister.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think I’m just bummed that my DH doesn’t desire to only share certain things with me or do things with just me. Makes me feel like I’m not that important.