DH doesn’t remember any birthdays

[Anonymous]

Been with my husband for decades, and it’s crazy to me that he still doesn’t know his parents or siblings’ birthdays. Not just forgetting them, but doesn’t remember the dates at all. Sometimes he remembers the months. Also one of his parents birthday is a week after our oldest child’s birthday and we always used to celebrate it together, pretty much every year. And when I remind him, he is always surprised that their birthdays are close together. I’ve tried putting them on our shared calendar but he never looks at it or ignores the reminders.

How can I help him remember them more independently? He also doesn’t always know our children’s birthdays.d

[Anonymous]

Does he remember much of anything, ie executive functioning issues, or just bdays or anniversaries?

Tell him to make some new traditions.

Doing nothing is just pathetic and selfish. Esp as a parent or SO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been with my husband for decades, and it’s crazy to me that he still doesn’t know his parents or siblings’ birthdays. Not just forgetting them, but doesn’t remember the dates at all. Sometimes he remembers the months. Also one of his parents birthday is a week after our oldest child’s birthday and we always used to celebrate it together, pretty much every year. And when I remind him, he is always surprised that their birthdays are close together. I’ve tried putting them on our shared calendar but he never looks at it or ignores the reminders.

How can I help him remember them more independently? He also doesn’t always know our children’s birthdays.d

Wait. Is this just for his own parents and his own siblings? If so don’t worry about it but do work with him on your kids and your own bdays, traditions and values.

Drop the rope on his family of origin.

[Anonymous]

Leave a permanent listing on the fridge. Right in prime viewing location.

[Anonymous]

My dad never remembered, either. It was a family joke. I believe there was one year he didn't realize it was HIS birthday until we told him (obviously, he knew the date of his birthday but hadn't realized that this was that day). So he got reminders, first from my mother and then from the kids as we got older. He was a good dad, but not good at remembering dates. Not a big deal. So, maybe let it go and just remind him.

[Anonymous]

Does it matter? Why do you care more about this than he does?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he remember much of anything, ie executive functioning issues, or just bdays or anniversaries?

Tell him to make some new traditions.

Doing nothing is just pathetic and selfish. Esp as a parent or SO.

To clarify, he usually does something, after I remind him of the upcoming birthdays. This is a big improvement from how I used to plan for and buy gifts/cards for all his family members’ birthdays. But I drew the line at some point. Now I would like him to go one step further and remember them on his own without reminders from me. I’m pretty forgetful myself, and it’s hard enough remembering everything else, let alone being responsible for reminding my husband of birthdays.

He has an exceptional memory but only limited to certain things. The everyday practical things completely escape him. He does not know our anniversary date either, and I have grown to not really care. I do have to remind him constantly of social things on our calendar and kid related activities and things.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and don’t remember this stuff. My husband reminds me of my family’s birthdays. I remind him of 10 million other things. It is fine.

This stuff just was never important in my family of origin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he remember much of anything, ie executive functioning issues, or just bdays or anniversaries?

Tell him to make some new traditions.

Doing nothing is just pathetic and selfish. Esp as a parent or SO.

To clarify, he usually does something, after I remind him of the upcoming birthdays. This is a big improvement from how I used to plan for and buy gifts/cards for all his family members’ birthdays. But I drew the line at some point. Now I would like him to go one step further and remember them on his own without reminders from me. I’m pretty forgetful myself, and it’s hard enough remembering everything else, let alone being responsible for reminding my husband of birthdays.

He has an exceptional memory but only limited to certain things. The everyday practical things completely escape him. He does not know our anniversary date either, and I have grown to not really care. I do have to remind him constantly of social things on our calendar and kid related activities and things.

Just stopped reminding him of his family stuff and let him deal with the fallout. I’m the woman that doesn’t remember this stuff. If my husband decided to stop reminding me, the world would not end.

[Anonymous]

Op here and I like the idea of posting the birthdays but then I know he will just ignore it.

But that gave me another idea of making it a competitive family trivia game or something to also involve our kids and help them remember. They are all super competitive and like a challenge so I think that might work pretty well for us!

[Anonymous]

Put them in the calendar on his phone as a repeating event every year. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he remember much of anything, ie executive functioning issues, or just bdays or anniversaries?

Tell him to make some new traditions.

Doing nothing is just pathetic and selfish. Esp as a parent or SO.

To clarify, he usually does something, after I remind him of the upcoming birthdays. This is a big improvement from how I used to plan for and buy gifts/cards for all his family members’ birthdays. But I drew the line at some point. Now I would like him to go one step further and remember them on his own without reminders from me. I’m pretty forgetful myself, and it’s hard enough remembering everything else, let alone being responsible for reminding my husband of birthdays.

He has an exceptional memory but only limited to certain things. The everyday practical things completely escape him. He does not know our anniversary date either, and I have grown to not really care. I do have to remind him constantly of social things on our calendar and kid related activities and things.

Just stopped reminding him of his family stuff and let him deal with the fallout. I’m the woman that doesn’t remember this stuff. If my husband decided to stop reminding me, the world would not end.

Yes, but he has parents who care very much about this type of thing. And get very upset if they are forgotten. They also remember and get us something for every one of our special occasions, like our anniversary and birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he remember much of anything, ie executive functioning issues, or just bdays or anniversaries?

Tell him to make some new traditions.

Doing nothing is just pathetic and selfish. Esp as a parent or SO.

To clarify, he usually does something, after I remind him of the upcoming birthdays. This is a big improvement from how I used to plan for and buy gifts/cards for all his family members’ birthdays. But I drew the line at some point. Now I would like him to go one step further and remember them on his own without reminders from me. I’m pretty forgetful myself, and it’s hard enough remembering everything else, let alone being responsible for reminding my husband of birthdays.

He has an exceptional memory but only limited to certain things. The everyday practical things completely escape him. He does not know our anniversary date either, and I have grown to not really care. I do have to remind him constantly of social things on our calendar and kid related activities and things.

Just stopped reminding him of his family stuff and let him deal with the fallout. I’m the woman that doesn’t remember this stuff. If my husband decided to stop reminding me, the world would not end.

Yes, but he has parents who care very much about this type of thing. And get very upset if they are forgotten. They also remember and get us something for every one of our special occasions, like our anniversary and birthdays.

Ok, but them being upset is entirely his problem. You don’t actually have to solve this for him — this is how women end up beating 99% of the mental load.

[Anonymous]

Put everyone’s birthday in his phone calendar and have it repeat every year, that’s what I do.

[Anonymous]

Put them all on Google calendars and have them repeat annually with a reminder a week ahead of time. Or whatever digital calendar system you use.