Spouse is work too much, but the sex is good. Advice please.

[Anonymous]

DH is a surgeon and I'm a SAHM for our two beautiful kids. DH works 7 days week and is work obsessed. He doesn't have any hobbies or interests outside of work. We make time to have hot sex almost every single day. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else. He seems very content with our life and this is what bothers me. I wish there was something I could do to get him to want to spend time with me outside of having sex. We don't eat any meals together and he says he's looking forward to when the kids go to college so we can have an empty home for more sexual play.
I feel angry with myself because I've enabled him to have this workaholic lifestyle. I feel foolish because I thought if I created a peaceful home life, he'd take an interest in a family life after we had kids. I was wrong. DH often says he appreciates what I do for our family, but he's essentially absent in my day-to-day life with the kids. He is very positive, encouraging, and kind to the kids when he does see them.
Please help me think of first steps I can take towards establishing a more balanced life. Has anyone had success with helping a driven spouse focus more on family time? I feel like I can't see this situation clearly because of how good our sex life is. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Get covid and tell him you are staying in the guest room and isolating from him and kids for a week.

[Anonymous]

How old are you both?

[Anonymous]

This is a troll, right?

[Anonymous]

OP I'm really sorry you are going through this. I also have a workaholic spouse and it's very lonely. We don't even have sex once a month

[Anonymous]

Imagine he earned 150k, and you worked fulltime, and you were both too exhausted to have sex every day, or even every week, after both working all day plus sharing child responsibilities. That is the majority of married people's lives, if they are so lucky one earns 150k. Could be 100k or much less. For the few SAHMs, most don't get hot sex every day. Please, please, cherish what you have woman!! Now, to your question, it sounds like DH might enjoy time with you if it's very kid free time. See if you can book a local staycation for 2 nights somewhere, maybe Old Town or Baltimore, and reconnect 1 on 1.

[Anonymous]

I get what you are saying. The sex might be good, but you need a partner, and your kids need a dad.

1). Sit him down and tell him that you don’t want the money as much as you want more of him in your life. He might see most of his value as a surgeon and a provider and not realize that he adds more value to your life and to your family by being a man than he does by being a paycheck.

2). Create some family rituals with specific days and times. Like every Thursday you play a board game at 7pm before the kids go to bed. Or go to church at a certain time every Sunday. (There are usually services at college campuses that happen later in the evening if your husband isn’t home during the day.). Or have a pizza and movie night every Friday. Make it something that he likes and make it clear that his presence is integral to the family activity. Sometimes asking him to be home “more” is too vague, but asking him to be home “for this specific activity” will make it onto his schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine he earned 150k, and you worked fulltime, and you were both too exhausted to have sex every day, or even every week, after both working all day plus sharing child responsibilities. That is the majority of married people's lives, if they are so lucky one earns 150k. Could be 100k or much less. For the few SAHMs, most don't get hot sex every day. Please, please, cherish what you have woman!! Now, to your question, it sounds like DH might enjoy time with you if it's very kid free time. See if you can book a local staycation for 2 nights somewhere, maybe Old Town or Baltimore, and reconnect 1 on 1.

Most of those people take two days off every week. Sometimes more. It sounds like OP’s husband hasn’t taken a day off in years.
Speaking of, what makes you think that he would suddenly decide to take off work in order to go to Baltimore?

[Anonymous]

Dumbest esol troll post ever

Surgeons never work 7 days a week constantly. Everyone knows that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll, right?

Obviously

[Anonymous]

Make sex quick (5 mins) then spend the rest of your time together.

[Anonymous]

tttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
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[Anonymous]

This post tells you why higher education is necessary even if you want a family oriented partner not a careerist.

[Anonymous]

Sex addict troll post, niiiiiice

[Anonymous]

You have to be kidding. He is a surgeon. This is how it is. Sounds like you have a good marriage. Don’t eff it up.

-from someone whose exSpouse had plenty of time and wr had no relationship and never had sex (7 YEARS of nada). Divorced.