Red flag in old social media posts?

[Anonymous]

How much weight do you give to old social media posts?
Posts are about 10 years old and day things like being Rhiannaned and not liking women telling him how to drive specifically it doesn't go well for them. I should clarify that these are unrelated and separate posts.
Also there's nothing else similar to these posts, definitely not in more recently. His current posts are much more enlightened. Our interactions have not lead me to believe he's misogynistic at all, a bit traditional in dating habits but nothing ott, things like paying for our dates, opening doors etc.
So I shouldn't be bothered by this right? We all change and mature overtime right? I'm sure I made stupid posts in my early 20s too.

So what would you do in this situation? Would you even consider it a red flag,?

[Anonymous]

Uhhh… depends on if you consider misogyny a minor blip that people grow out of?

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is the context? You have been dating him for how long?

Not sure without further info, but I do know that just because his current posts seem enlightened and he holds doors open does not mean that he is in fact a nice guy. I dated someone who was very charming, pillar of the community type and he turned out to be awful These guys just learn how to hide it better over time. I’d question whether a tiger can change his stripes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the context? You have been dating him for how long?

Not sure without further info, but I do know that just because his current posts seem enlightened and he holds doors open does not mean that he is in fact a nice guy. I dated someone who was very charming, pillar of the community type and he turned out to be awful These guys just learn how to hide it better over time. I’d question whether a tiger can change his stripes

Op here. Not sure what you mean by context.
Context is the posts? No context just random posts.

Context of our relationship? We've been seeing/talking to each other since last month do it's very new. His behavior sofar hasn't given me cause for concern.
You misunderstood me mentioning the opening doors, that was not a point to show that he's a nice guy it was a point as I said he is traditional in that since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh… depends on if you consider misogyny a minor blip that people grow out of?

Good luck with that.

Op again? You don't think people can change? The post was 20 years old and at that time he was 23. I guess I just think we're all pretty dumb in our early 30s and we grow up hopefully. I would be a no brainer red flag had he been in his 30s at the time. I'm honestly not sure do I'm asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh… depends on if you consider misogyny a minor blip that people grow out of?

Good luck with that.

Op again? You don't think people can change? The post was 20 years old and at that time he was 23. I guess I just think we're all pretty dumb in our early 30s and we grow up hopefully. I would be a no brainer red flag had he been in his 30s at the time. I'm honestly not sure do I'm asking.

Dealbreaker for me, hon, but you live your life the way you see fit.

If you are in your 30s he was born in an era well after the inferiority of women was disproved. So no, I would think you can do better.

[Anonymous]

No, a 20- something who thinks it’s cool to be a misogynistic does not change. He’s just smart enough now not to post his true feelings towards women.

[Anonymous]

What kind of things does he say that are "enlightened?"

[Anonymous]

It’s only a month. See what he shows you but consider yourself on notice he has those tendencies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh… depends on if you consider misogyny a minor blip that people grow out of?

Good luck with that.

Op again? You don't think people can change? The post was 20 years old and at that time he was 23. I guess I just think we're all pretty dumb in our early 30s and we grow up hopefully. I would be a no brainer red flag had he been in his 30s at the time. I'm honestly not sure do I'm asking.

Dealbreaker for me, hon, but you live your life the way you see fit.

If you are in your 30s he was born in an era well after the inferiority of women was disproved. So no, I would think you can do better.

Not OP, but you don't know many idiot early-20s guys, or rather, many men who once were idiot early-20s guys 20 years ago, do you?

Before you go ballistic: I'm not defending those posts but to be honest I also would have to see the actual posts. And hear his explanation. I would not automatically do a knee-jerk "dump him now" without questioning him.

OP, just ASK. Tell him you looked at his old posts and ask him about it. Don't be accusatory but be neutral when you ask the initial question: "What was up with that? I see you as a pretty old-fashioned guy and those posts aren't old-school polite. What was going on with you at that point?" and see what he says and how he reacts. Bring up specific ones that troubled you.

I would also wonder why, if he's more enlightened now, he has not bothered to take those posts down. It's possible to remove old posts from your feeds and anyone who has that kind of stuff in their social media should know to go through and weed it out if they actually care about having said it. Though maybe someone else linked to them and that's what OP is seeing. Well? OP?

The posts without any context are something strangers on the internet can't really interpret for you, OP. What has he posted about since then? Does he do things that indicate he is, as you say, "enlightened" like put his actions where his mouth is, and support women in specific ways now? What's the context? Who was he 20 years ago and how has he changed? That all comes from conversations with him. You won't find his answers here on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Unless he only posts on social media once per year I'd be a little weirded out by someone that dug back into my posts from 20 years ago. Two separate issues but just saying he might think what you did is a red flag. If it were me I'd try to flesh out the issues some other way.

[Anonymous]

^Edit: Typo, 10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh… depends on if you consider misogyny a minor blip that people grow out of?

Good luck with that.

Op again? You don't think people can change? The post was 20 years old and at that time he was 23. I guess I just think we're all pretty dumb in our early 30s and we grow up hopefully. I would be a no brainer red flag had he been in his 30s at the time. I'm honestly not sure do I'm asking.

please never base any opinions on this faulty statement

[Anonymous]

Well, dates are fine. Marriage, perhaps not.

[Anonymous]

I would be out. If you keep seeing him, at least you can know to look for any controlling behavior and get out before "it ends badly for you."