SIL is immature spiteful bitch

[Anonymous]

This is more of a rant than anything. If you have a bitch of a SIL please share stories I need to realize I am not alone. We just told our families that we are having #2. Everyone has been so excited and happy for us except my bitch of a SIL. She is just jealous I know that but her nasty attitude has really made her feel toxic to the point where I don't even like to think about her. She never said congratulations, never really said anything. (We talk on skype with them) She just walked out of the room. Instead changed the topic to be all about her and her impending daughters 1st bday. This is only one if whole list of our issues but it's really getting to me.

[Anonymous]

I think the whole in-law relationship is really hard - MIL, SIL, any IL. It's very difficult to take someone who has not grown up within the same family structure as you and suddenly make them your family. It's even harder when you don't get along with the person. Just focus on the positive things going on in your life (congrats, by the way), and it sounds like that should be easy, since you only have to skype with her rather than see her in real life.

Also, this may be totally wrong, but is it possible that she has had a miscarriage or struggled with infertility or there's some other reason why she isn't able to share your news as happily as you would like? It's always something to keep in mind when sharing baby news.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a horrible SIL. Just awful. After years of being bummed about it, I am over it. Her life and problems are her own....I am completely over her.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't wait for accolades from IL's. You are the new person, probably some sort of irrational threat to them. It has nothing to do with you. You could have been anyone.

[But if they perceive you as prettier, smarter, whatever than them, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, FYI!]

You don't need their approval. Remember that.

[Anonymous]

OP you are not alone. Did want to mention what another poster said..perhaps she is coping with infertility or pregnancy loss or sadness about her own life? I actually gave up venting about my awful inlaws because it just stressed me out more. DH finally saw that most families he encounters do not treat people that horribly and we set huge limits.It was painful getting to that point, but these people could do in our health and sanity with the constant complaining and dramas. Now they have big blowouts with eachother and we refuse to get involved. I just try to remind myself it is what it is and the most important thing is to have a happy marriage. I guess the last thing I'll say is happy people are kind to others. I'm guessing your in-laws like mine are just unhappy and angry individuals?

[Anonymous]

My SIL doesn't even have any children yet so she doesn't really doesn't get "it".

[Anonymous]

Question for you, OP: Would you rather she be fake? "Oh I'm so so happy for you!!!!" when she's not? You didn't mention anything about her status... is she struggling with infertility? Have you lorded your success having children over her?

Just be happy for yourself and DH and move on.

[Anonymous]

Just be polite. Expect little.

Don't waste your energy hating or being annoyed and disappointed with her. She just is what she is.

[Anonymous]

Could she be having trouble conceiving? Not to defend her bad behavior but that might be an explanation. Speaking from personal experience, it is crushing to watch family members have babies when you can't.

Again, she should at least fake her happiness for you ...

[Anonymous]

Not struggling with infertility at all. She is married to an idiot that has 3 dui, no license and thousands of dollars in fines. They recently moved in with the inlaws. Needless to say the jealous is what drives her to be a bitch but really that's not my problem. She needs to realize her situation is her own doing and be happy for other people.

[Anonymous]

My SIL is a bitch!
I hate her hate her hate her, I hate her mother even more.

[Anonymous]

It's a testament to the life that you have, if she finds herself unable to disguise her jealousy of you.

That being said, none of my friends or the women in my family have great relationships with their SILs... It's the nature of the beast! As long as you can be in the same room together, you are doing better than many!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not struggling with infertility at all. She is married to an idiot that has 3 dui, no license and thousands of dollars in fines. They recently moved in with the inlaws. Needless to say the jealous is what drives her to be a bitch but really that's not my problem. She needs to realize her situation is her own doing and be happy for other people.

OP, if she is such a loser, why are you giving her such credence in your life? Why should be her being happy for you be so important to you? Get over it! I'm sure there are plenty of other functional people in your life who can enjoy and celebrate your good news. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Aren't IL's, by definition, bitter, unaccepting, fault finding nasty and miserable? Maybe that helps

[Anonymous]

I respect all my in-laws, and love most of them (except one SIL, but I do admire her super-woman standards), so cannot relate on that level.
It seems as if your feelings about them are too negative and costly. Why do you care in this way? Why do you seek their approval? Their troubled lives are not yours to mend, and not yours to suffer. Pity your SIL if you must for her bad manners and unhappy life, but don't hate her.