Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?

[Anonymous]

I am watching Odd Mom Out these days and one of the running jokes is that the other UES moms all have a particular UES look (bottle blonde, pastel colors, Soul Cycle honed skinny athletic body, strict diets, designer preppy clothes) and the brunette, not conventionally attractive main character is picked on and shunned due to her different look.

Is this true in the DMV as well? If so, what to moms judge each other on appearance wise here?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think they are picked on and shunned but there’s definitely a lot of judgment. Whether or not it’s spoken judgment, I don’t know.

What I do know is that people who are like that are not worth your time.

[Anonymous]

Not for being brunette, Lol. Many gorgeous shiny brunettes that look especially better than brittle, dried out bottle blondes as they get up into their 40s/50s. Some of Hollywood's hottest women are brunette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am watching Odd Mom Out these days and one of the running jokes is that the other UES moms all have a particular UES look (bottle blonde, pastel colors, Soul Cycle honed skinny athletic body, strict diets, designer preppy clothes) and the brunette, not conventionally attractive main character is picked on and shunned due to her different look.

Is this true in the DMV as well? If so, what to moms judge each other on appearance wise here?

Lived in NYC for ages and no one is wearing pastels except maybe light blue or lavender (with beige/chocolate brown/gray/black). Only people with dark skin (for whom it’s an amazing look) wear pastels successfully.

[Anonymous]

Live in NYC and yes, sometimes? Not always, but there is a certain, very Stepford Wives-ish, UES set that does (even if they don't say it). It's not all blond and pastel (don't see pastel much) but it's a certain look and manner.

[Anonymous]

None that I know.

[Anonymous]

I wear pretty unfashionable clothes (unless I am going out). I am usually in yoga pants or jeans, vans, and a t-shirt. My hair is pretty unruly (plus it's curly so it never looks sleek or anything).

I have never *felt* judged for my appearance. It could be happening, but if it does I don't notice it. I also wouldn't judge another mom for her appearance.

Obviously people are going to judge others, but it's far from ubiquitous . Especially if you're in an area that's relatively down to earth (I'm in south Arlington; high COL yet surprisingly low-key).

[Anonymous]

Where I live in CO yes people judge but it’s for not being skinny. I’m a 10/12 and by far the largest of my friends. People keep inviting me to their exercise classes and recommending things.

[Anonymous]

Everybody judges everything. What and how much depends on their current satisfaction/security with themselves at the time. Definitely not something to waste time worrying about.

[Anonymous]

Private school moms definitely judge. Normal moms, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everybody judges everything. What and how much depends on their current satisfaction/security with themselves at the time. Definitely not something to waste time worrying about.

This. Not sure why it would just be a mom thing.

[Anonymous]

Meh. Moms with demanding jobs don’t give a crap what other moms wear. In fact if you have time to look perfect you aren’t doing enough with your kids or job.

[Anonymous]

I don’t personally feel judged at our public school, but there are lots of ways to feel judged and like an outsider. I know moms who felt that way about being the lone SAHM among WOHMs, and vice versa. Having more or less money can be awkward. Being the one mom with a kid in sped is isolating. And so on.

I live on the Hill in DC and people here are pretty welcoming in my experience, and there’s a lot of diversity (of all kinds) in our school community, so it’s rare to feel like the odd one out, at least not anymore than the next person. There is definitely a phenomenon of some families starting to dress or look alike, though. It’s not universal at all, but there is a kind of uniform for a lot of white families on the hill. Lots of LL Bean, Patagonia, and REI. Moms in athleisure or a kind of crunchy granola vibe. Dads in fleece jackets and jeans or khakis. Kids in Natives and clothes from places like Primary and Hanna Anderson, but nothing too perfect looking. Kids on scooters. These days, mom or dad on a cargo bike with the littlest riding in back. It’s a whole vibe.

But that’s just one group. Like I said, it’s too diverse to feel weird if that’s not you. My family doesn’t look like that generally, but I don’t feel excluded by people who do.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure they do. I stopped caring awhile ago though.

I don't dress like a slouch, but I'm not going to extraordinary lengths either.

[Anonymous]

The only time I notice someone’s clothes is if they dress way outside the norm.

99% of parents at our school are within what I would call the range of normal / not noteworthy dress / look. Target yoga pants on one end and expensive but low-key casual gear on the other. Not a lot of business clothes but that could be a result of the WAH culture at the moment.

There’s a (white) mom at our school who has a huge crown of rainbow dreads that go past her butt. She wears about 10 differently-patterned pieces of clothing at a time, and jewelry that makes a lot of noise.

I perceive her to be very attention-seeking, so as an introvert I stay away from her. Call it judgement if you want.