Do moms really judge each other over how they dress and look?

[Anonymous]

I hope not. People need to be gentle with each other. No need for cruelty. I’ve gained weight as I nursed my husband through cancer and now just surviving his death and raising our kids alone. If you are judging me, you suck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private school moms definitely judge. Normal moms, not so much.

I’m a private school mom and I don’t judge. I suspect others judge me but I really don’t care. My priorities are my kids, my husband, my job, and my happiness. I don’t have room for judgy people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Moms with demanding jobs don’t give a crap what other moms wear. In fact if you have time to look perfect you aren’t doing enough with your kids or job.

+1 and they really don’t care if someone has nothing better to do than worry about another mom’s clothes.

[Anonymous]

I want to say generally no but being honest there are a few things I probably do judge:
— the people who are really done up and fashionable, I figure they will be snooty and we won’t get along. Sometimes I am surprised though.

— the people who are wearing fashions that are 20 years outdated (often including very 90s bangs), I predict will be socially awkward, but I don’t avoid people for that reason…it’s more of just a prediction.

— the people who are wearing real fashion victim clothes, I judge I will have nothing in common with them. I once went on a field trip with a mom who was wearing those super shredded jeans—all her upper thighs were totally exposed and building through the threads when she sat down. It looked uncomfortable, unflattering and I just couldn’t imagine making that affirmative choice to buy and wear those.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s called Mean Girls, catty, or clique. 🤦‍♂️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not for being brunette, Lol. Many gorgeous shiny brunettes that look especially better than brittle, dried out bottle blondes as they get up into their 40s/50s. Some of Hollywood's hottest women are brunette.

Didn't take you long to judge, did it? And bet you didn't even notice how nasty you actually are being.

--brunette in her 30s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Moms with demanding jobs don’t give a crap what other moms wear. In fact if you have time to look perfect you aren’t doing enough with your kids or job.

If you really have a high level job, you need to look perfect. You just have regular job that you're too disorganized for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom who is definitely visual and into fashion. I like tarte leisurewear, Athleta joggers, and Gucci bags. I get Botox and fillers and hair appointments every 6 weeks. I love to hike, hot yoga, and exercise.
I wouldn’t choose not to be friends with someone who is dressed in illfitting clothes and not groomed, but I would notice. I like to talk about this stuff and think you might judge me if you look a hot mess or are overweight.

Athleta sweatpants/joggers and Gucci bags sounds pretty basic.

Seriously. This gave me a laugh. “Into fashion”

[Anonymous]

I have 5 pastel tops. Please don't judge. I had no clothes and the pastels were on sale. The one positive is they don't look worn out and i look presentable.

[Anonymous]

Some people judge. My perspective is, if you want to judge people by their clothing and appearance, you aren’t my kind of people.

I wear bright colors and patterns because they bring me joy. I’m sure some people think I want attention. I don’t. Just enjoy the artistic side of colors/prints.

[Anonymous]

Yes, even though in some circles you won't be judged for wearing a trash bag, as long as it's organic cotton.

But god forbid you wear a plastic trash bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh. Moms with demanding jobs don’t give a crap what other moms wear. In fact if you have time to look perfect you aren’t doing enough with your kids or job.

If you really have a high level job, you need to look perfect. You just have regular job that you're too disorganized for.

Like Kyrsten Sinema?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people judge. My perspective is, if you want to judge people by their clothing and appearance, you aren’t my kind of people.

I wear bright colors and patterns because they bring me joy. I’m sure some people think I want attention. I don’t. Just enjoy the artistic side of colors/prints.

I think we'd get along. I definitely dress for my mood, but unlike you I struggle a bit with not wanting to be judged by other parents. For instance, I have a very "loud" and warm winter coat that I bought a few years ago specifically to cheer me up in the dead of winter when I need something cozy but also want something that makes me feel like ray of sunshine. I used to wear it regularly with no issue whatsoever. I'd get some funny looks but also lots of compliments -- I have had so many people stop me on the bus or on the street to tell me my coat made them smile or to ask where I got it.

But I haven't worn it for school drop off or pick up once. I'm too afraid. I do feel like it attracts a lot of attention and worry it will impact my DD as well -- I don't want her being embarrassed by me or getting tagged as the kid with the eccentric mom (even though I guess she is). I don't know that I even made this choice consciously but over and over I skip over that coat for a nondescript black puffer coat.

I wish I could just wear the coat and not worry about it. I definitely have some anxiety around the social aspects of parenting at times. I was bullied as a kid and while I worked to get over that as an adult, it has really come back with a force since having a child. I want things to be smoother for her because school was so hard for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people judge. My perspective is, if you want to judge people by their clothing and appearance, you aren’t my kind of people.

I wear bright colors and patterns because they bring me joy. I’m sure some people think I want attention. I don’t. Just enjoy the artistic side of colors/prints.

I think we'd get along. I definitely dress for my mood, but unlike you I struggle a bit with not wanting to be judged by other parents. For instance, I have a very "loud" and warm winter coat that I bought a few years ago specifically to cheer me up in the dead of winter when I need something cozy but also want something that makes me feel like ray of sunshine. I used to wear it regularly with no issue whatsoever. I'd get some funny looks but also lots of compliments -- I have had so many people stop me on the bus or on the street to tell me my coat made them smile or to ask where I got it.

But I haven't worn it for school drop off or pick up once. I'm too afraid. I do feel like it attracts a lot of attention and worry it will impact my DD as well -- I don't want her being embarrassed by me or getting tagged as the kid with the eccentric mom (even though I guess she is). I don't know that I even made this choice consciously but over and over I skip over that coat for a nondescript black puffer coat.

I wish I could just wear the coat and not worry about it. I definitely have some anxiety around the social aspects of parenting at times. I was bullied as a kid and while I worked to get over that as an adult, it has really come back with a force since having a child. I want things to be smoother for her because school was so hard for me.

my sisters! i also don't seek "look at me attention"/feel uncomfortable standing out ... but love bright happy patterns and giant jewelry because they make me smile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to say generally no but being honest there are a few things I probably do judge:
— the people who are really done up and fashionable, I figure they will be snooty and we won’t get along. Sometimes I am surprised though.

— the people who are wearing fashions that are 20 years outdated (often including very 90s bangs), I predict will be socially awkward, but I don’t avoid people for that reason…it’s more of just a prediction.

— the people who are wearing real fashion victim clothes, I judge I will have nothing in common with them. I once went on a field trip with a mom who was wearing those super shredded jeans—all her upper thighs were totally exposed and building through the threads when she sat down. It looked uncomfortable, unflattering and I just couldn’t imagine making that affirmative choice to buy and wear those.

I could have written this - agree with all of the above. These are the kinds of looks that stick out in my suburb, ~10%. 90% of the women are wearing variations on the same basics, presumably some much more expensive than others, but I can't always tell the difference.