How to deal with poor gift-giving skills
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Anonymous
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My DH loves to give gifts to me and the kids (who are teenagers), not just on holidays and birthdays but at other times too, but he is really bad at picking things out. So bad, in fact, that it makes me and the kids sometimes feel alienated, like he has no idea what we would like. Would be interested to know how others who have faced this situation have dealt with it. He thinks he is great at giving gifts and does not really take suggestions. |
Anonymous
| Send him a text or email in advanced with what you want. |
Anonymous
| Can you give us an example op? |
Anonymous
Be gracious like you would with anyone else who thought of you, spent money and time on picking one, even if doesn’t get it right but thought counts. |
Anonymous
| Amazon wishlist? Or you can just talk constantly about what you would like. Show him random things like you just now discovered them and emphasize how much you want them. |
Anonymous
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My DW buys me things that I know she likes and she would like me to like. I try to appreciate that she's trying to make a connection, even though I end up never using most of her gifts.
I do sometimes wish she would put herself in my shoes and buy something she thinks *I* would like -- which is what I think I do buying gifts for her. But I'm not always on target either. In the end, just be happy someone loves you enough to think about getting you something just because. |
Anonymous
He bought me this cat brooch made of gold with little rubies for eyes. I don't ever wear brooches and it is ugly (not to mention expensive). This winter he surprised the family with a ski trip to Vail. No one else in the family likes to ski. But it was expensive and prepaid so we went. Last year for my birthday he surprised me (and the kids) with another expensive weekend getaway -- to NYC to see some Broadway shows. I don't enjoy musical theater and neither do the kids. I could go on... |
Anonymous
Wow, send him my way! |
Anonymous
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My wife got me an expensive "designer" fedora hat for Xmas. It sits in the closet. I prefer my baseball caps. |
Anonymous
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Sometimes you just need to suck it up with family gifts and smile and say thank you. That's how I always felt about DD's drawings. Just tape them up on the wall even if they're terrible. |
Anonymous
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No expensive "surprises" rule, everything over $100, $200 or $1000, or whatever ever limit is set, should be a mutually selected or agreed upon gift.
For example: both parents can select to buy surprise trips for the kids, but they have to both know about it in advance and agree on location, etc... And, one surprise gift per exchange. Like dad can buy DC one surprise expensive gift under $200 (or whatever limit) and the rest should be things DC has expressed an interest in. |
Anonymous
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I have the same issue. My DH and I both work full time at demanding jobs and we have small kids. He likes to "surprise me" and lessen my load by getting home before me and making dinner for the family. The only problem is he can't cook. At all. But he thinks he is an excellent cook. I don't really feel like I can complain because he's trying to do something nice. |
Anonymous
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It is hard but I have just been honest. The conversation is… thank you, so sweet, thoughtful but…..I’m not a jewelry person, those are not the X I would choose for myself….
If we can’t be honest with our partners/spouses who can we be honest with. He has told me same on some gifts as well. I like simple things as we have a very nice life and can purchase what we need or want. Gifts for me are as you mention - wanting the person you love to know the small things that make you happy. |
Anonymous
| Wish lists are super helpful for this. |
Anonymous
| Regift where possible |