Breastfeeding Struggles Not Getting Easier

[Anonymous]

I’m going on week 9 and the breastfeeding struggles have continued. It started out as a slight tongue and bad latch and low supply. We were able to correct his tongue tie but that still has not helped much. I was hopeful that it would correct the issues, but he’s still a very slow eater and often gets frustrated at the breast. We have been to 5 lactation consultants and two specialists who tell me nothing is wrong after the initial tongue and I just have to wait and it will get easier as he gets older. I’m struggling with low supply and that adds to the stress. I have tried so many things - diet, supplements, nursing all day/night, triple feeding, pumping, etc., and nothing has increased my supply to be able to exclusively breastfeed. I even cut out supplementing when we corrected the tongue tie but he lost too much weight and I realized my low supply was not from him improperly latching. I’m fine with having to supplement, but the fact that nursing is so hard has been making it more stressful and tempting to just give in and switch formula. I still want to make breastfeeding work. I’ve had so many people tell that it won’t get better if it’s hasn’t at this point, and others tell me it didn’t get easy until their baby was 4 months old and to give it more time. I worry that 4 months will come and I will be in the same position and mad that I put myself and my baby through all this, but I hold out hope that it will get easier and all of this stress and time will be worth it. I need encouragement and some unbiased opinions.

[Anonymous]

Aww honey. It's really hard. I'm sorry you're not seeing improvement. It seems like you're putting in a huge effort, and that's very frustrating.

I'm not saying that it won't get better, because he may outgrow this and become a better nurser, but I think formula can give you and your baby some relief from stress. Some people find that getting more sleep improves their supply, so if formula allows you to sleep better, your baby may get more breastmilk than he would without using formula.

I think we can set an example for our children of accepting our bodies and our lives as they are, and him getting enough calories is the most important thing. For myself, when my ideal healthy foods are not available I will eat what is available. That's okay!

[Anonymous]

That's really tough. I commend you for sticking with it and continuing to try. I don't have any real advice but just want to say you are doing a great job! I say this as a breastfeeding advocate and a woman who exclusively breastfeed both her kids for 1 year and continued breastfeeding until they were 2. Do not feel guilty if you need to switch to formula. Do the best you can now (and it sounds like you really are), but if it becomes too much and you need to make the switch to formula, you should feel good that you really did do all you could. And your baby got breastmilk for XX amount of time, and that's golden!


Good luck and I really hope things get better and you're able to continue breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

Switch to formula.

[Anonymous]

My situation was so similar with my first. It was awful and soul-sucking and physically painful. I could.not let breast-feeding go, and I should have - for myself, for my sanity, for my sleep schedule, for my marriage, for my enjoyment with my baby. If you can let yourself let it go, your child will be fine. When the kiddo is 5, heck even 2!, you will never know which children were formula fed and which were breastfed when you look at all the toddlers at daycare. You tried your best, and it isn't working. See if you can let it go.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried body work for the baby. That made a big difference for me. My baby didn't have a tongue tie and at her best could latch correctly but she often didn't and was sucking in a disorganized manner. I saw an osteopath who did 2 sessions of body work and she started doing better. I did bodywork at weeks 11 and 13 and by 4 months things were better (so it is also possible that just growing helped too.)

My supply only improved once she started transferring better. I don't respond well to a pump and as a solo mom it was hard to fit in "enough" pumping sessions especially in those crucial early weeks. I did use an SNS to supplement for a few months (basically from week 7 til maybe around 4 months) which helped maintain the breastfeeding relationship until she improved. An LC showed me how to stick in in a nipple shield (which we were also using) which spared me the frustration of slipping under her lips etc. I did nursing/supplementing at the same time until I was testing whether she improved after bodywork and then switched to nursing then supplementing again. I also almost never supplemented at night which made things easier and she was able to gain enough weight even with limiting supplementing during the day (on rare occassions if she was still hungry after nursing I did supplement based on her cues.)

My supply never reached 100% but I only have to supplement 2-6oz in the evenings when I'm with her all day so it covers most of her needs. (For daycare I have to supplement more since I pump less than she extracts.)

I would say that any combination of switching completely to formula, nursing mainly for comfort with mostly formula, nursing and supplementing is totally fine. The most important thing is enjoying your time with the baby and that he is well fed. Nursing was very important to me for a number of reasons so I persisted but stopping can make a lot of sense too.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any family support? Maybe they can take over everything while you focus on breastfeeding?

[Anonymous]

This was me so I just accepted supplementing with nursing it was a nice balance no biggie. With my second I now have a ton of supply and it’s kind of a drag since I don’t get that formula break.

[Anonymous]

This may not be what you want to hear but this is my experience. Nursing never worked for me. I had similar issues and my baby seemed to hate nursing. I switched to pumping at 8 weeks and went until 6 months. I then used my freezer stash and formula to get him to a year. It was a lot of work but I super focused on him having breastmilk for 6 months. I don’t regret it but I know there are many moms who do and wish they switched to formula.

The good thing is each baby is different. My second baby took to breastfeeding easily. We do supplement at bedtime but it has been a completely different experience than my first. I will say I don’t think I would have pumped has breastfeeding not worked with this baby either. I would have switched to formula without any guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m going on week 9 and the breastfeeding struggles have continued. It started out as a slight tongue and bad latch and low supply. We were able to correct his tongue tie but that still has not helped much. I was hopeful that it would correct the issues, but he’s still a very slow eater and often gets frustrated at the breast. We have been to 5 lactation consultants and two specialists who tell me nothing is wrong after the initial tongue and I just have to wait and it will get easier as he gets older. I’m struggling with low supply and that adds to the stress. I have tried so many things - diet, supplements, nursing all day/night, triple feeding, pumping, etc., and nothing has increased my supply to be able to exclusively breastfeed. I even cut out supplementing when we corrected the tongue tie but he lost too much weight and I realized my low supply was not from him improperly latching. I’m fine with having to supplement, but the fact that nursing is so hard has been making it more stressful and tempting to just give in and switch formula. I still want to make breastfeeding work. I’ve had so many people tell that it won’t get better if it’s hasn’t at this point, and others tell me it didn’t get easy until their baby was 4 months old and to give it more time. I worry that 4 months will come and I will be in the same position and mad that I put myself and my baby through all this, but I hold out hope that it will get easier and all of this stress and time will be worth it. I need encouragement and some unbiased opinions.

Hi, here's what helped most w my supply: drinking a large (32 oz) glass of plain water first thing in the morning before eating any food. If I skipped the water, or drank that amount of water later, after eating or in the day, my supply would be less. It's like drinking a big glass of water and then having a bigger pee than typical. Breastfeeding requires more water and more food for your body to be able to make the milk.

It's ok if you want to add formula. You are not a failure. Your body is not failing you. Caring for an infant is a huge transition, and you are doing a great job of paying attention to your baby and paying attention to yourself, and asking questions along the way.

Best wishes to you and your family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was me so I just accepted supplementing with nursing it was a nice balance no biggie. With my second I now have a ton of supply and it’s kind of a drag since I don’t get that formula break.

This is not the same. OP had nursing issues on top of supply issues. She said supplementing wasn’t an issue for her. It’s the nursing part that is still the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried body work for the baby. That made a big difference for me. My baby didn't have a tongue tie and at her best could latch correctly but she often didn't and was sucking in a disorganized manner. I saw an osteopath who did 2 sessions of body work and she started doing better. I did bodywork at weeks 11 and 13 and by 4 months things were better (so it is also possible that just growing helped too.)

My supply only improved once she started transferring better. I don't respond well to a pump and as a solo mom it was hard to fit in "enough" pumping sessions especially in those crucial early weeks. I did use an SNS to supplement for a few months (basically from week 7 til maybe around 4 months) which helped maintain the breastfeeding relationship until she improved. An LC showed me how to stick in in a nipple shield (which we were also using) which spared me the frustration of slipping under her lips etc. I did nursing/supplementing at the same time until I was testing whether she improved after bodywork and then switched to nursing then supplementing again. I also almost never supplemented at night which made things easier and she was able to gain enough weight even with limiting supplementing during the day (on rare occassions if she was still hungry after nursing I did supplement based on her cues.)

My supply never reached 100% but I only have to supplement 2-6oz in the evenings when I'm with her all day so it covers most of her needs. (For daycare I have to supplement more since I pump less than she extracts.)

I would say that any combination of switching completely to formula, nursing mainly for comfort with mostly formula, nursing and supplementing is totally fine. The most important thing is enjoying your time with the baby and that he is well fed. Nursing was very important to me for a number of reasons so I persisted but stopping can make a lot of sense too.

OP here. I have never heard of this but I will look into it.

[Anonymous]

If you feel strongly about breast feeding, then I'd recommend a mind shift. Feed 10 minutes at the breast and then give him a bottle at each feeding. Feel happy that you are continuing to breast feed and you are supported by the backstop of formula. Or, just torpedo it completely and formula feed! I pumped + supplemented for 12 weeks with my DS1 as breastfeeding never worked (would not recommend this -- pumping is miserable). With my second, I have been breastfeeding 8 months and supplement in the evening when my supply drops. In the evening i always breastfeed and then give the bottle. It is kind of the best of both worlds. I feel like he goes to bed with a full tummy and I'm contributing a little. All we can do is the give it our best and be thankful that formula is super advanced and can handle the rest. Even if that means giving it up to formula entirely! We can't discount the mental health component to this.

[Anonymous]

Then stop. Your hormones make you feel guilty because nature doesn't realize there's an easy alternative. Use formula. It will save your sanity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going on week 9 and the breastfeeding struggles have continued. It started out as a slight tongue and bad latch and low supply. We were able to correct his tongue tie but that still has not helped much. I was hopeful that it would correct the issues, but he’s still a very slow eater and often gets frustrated at the breast. We have been to 5 lactation consultants and two specialists who tell me nothing is wrong after the initial tongue and I just have to wait and it will get easier as he gets older. I’m struggling with low supply and that adds to the stress. I have tried so many things - diet, supplements, nursing all day/night, triple feeding, pumping, etc., and nothing has increased my supply to be able to exclusively breastfeed. I even cut out supplementing when we corrected the tongue tie but he lost too much weight and I realized my low supply was not from him improperly latching. I’m fine with having to supplement, but the fact that nursing is so hard has been making it more stressful and tempting to just give in and switch formula. I still want to make breastfeeding work. I’ve had so many people tell that it won’t get better if it’s hasn’t at this point, and others tell me it didn’t get easy until their baby was 4 months old and to give it more time. I worry that 4 months will come and I will be in the same position and mad that I put myself and my baby through all this, but I hold out hope that it will get easier and all of this stress and time will be worth it. I need encouragement and some unbiased opinions.

Hi, here's what helped most w my supply: drinking a large (32 oz) glass of plain water first thing in the morning before eating any food. If I skipped the water, or drank that amount of water later, after eating or in the day, my supply would be less. It's like drinking a big glass of water and then having a bigger pee than typical. Breastfeeding requires more water and more food for your body to be able to make the milk.

It's ok if you want to add formula. You are not a failure. Your body is not failing you. Caring for an infant is a huge transition, and you are doing a great job of paying attention to your baby and paying attention to yourself, and asking questions along the way.

Best wishes to you and your family!

ps. I could see the difference and how drinking water correlated because I pumped every day in addition to nursing directly