How common is it for young adults to receive life changing amounts of money from family?

[Anonymous]

My family paid for my college education, so I certainly received life changing amounts of money in that sense. But I'm curious about how common it is for young adults, post-college to receive significant amounts of money from their family. When I was in my mid-twenties it seemed like I had a number of friends who had better houses and so forth than their jobs would seem to support. It was none of my business, so I didn't ask - but either they were better at saving and finding deals than I was, they went a lot further into debt, and/or they got money from their families.

My parents probably had enough money to where they could've subsidized my lifestyle, but that's not really the family ethos. Raise the kids and educate them, after that it's up to them. I'm in my 50s now, so it doesn't really matter. Just curious. At this point there's no real way of telling where personal finances end and family money begins.

[Anonymous]

Can’t give you a precise answer but our trust is set up so that if we die while the kids are in college, school is paid for. After that they don’t get anything until about 35 and then again at 40 or 45. I think the split was 30/70.

[Anonymous]

Very rare.

[Anonymous]

I’m from nyc and went to school in Boston. It felt like a good amount had parents buy them a place. I’m Asian American and had a lot of Asian friends whose parents bought them Manhattan apts in cash.

We are now in our 40s in McLean. I have no idea whose parents helped them or not. Some people are obviously from family money.

[Anonymous]

Nearly 50 too and have one remaining elderly parent left. My parents and even husband's parents never gifted us any money. My parents were comfortable middle class and I was the only daughter. They never even laid for my modest wedding. Although mom did but my dress. We had a modest wedding but had to take out a small Lian to help pay. BC we got married young at 23 and didn't have anything. My mom always cried poor even though she was surrounded by her Ethan Allen furniture and dozen plus crystal candlesticks. I do greatly appreciate the fact that my parents paid for college (in state and I also graduated in 3 years). For my own young adult children I want to make things easier for them than for me. I paid for school although my daughter was a supersenior fir one extra semester so I did have her take out 15k for that one semester. She had failed several classes and waffled on her major which is why she went extra long. She has her own working world job now and is just getting ready to move out. (She graduated a year ago). We have told her we will pay her security deposit and half the move. We never charged her to live at home. We will pay for their wedding but it can't be a crazy extravagant affair so I think we'll give them a flat amount and let them decide. I want to give them some money (75%) for when they put their first downpayment on home. And when they have kids I want to fund a small monthly 529. Oh, we did buy our kids a car (honda civic basic) as seniors in college. I guess my kids will be spoiled compared to me. But I have no intention of signing their rental leases or being on their mortgage. Their first home will no doubt be a modest home. That's normal. In my 20s I had a lot of friends I worked with who bought bigger and better than me, even though we were earning the same. At the time I remember being a little green with envy, if I'm honest. But I wasn't born into parents like that.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who continues to be gifted large amounts of family money. For both a large suburban home (cash) and a vacation home (cash) before the age of 30. College was fully paid for, rent in apt was fully paid for, luxury cars paid for, vacations paid for...on and on.

Grandparents made the money by working multiple blue collar type jobs, living frugally and investing very wisely. They were proud to tell grandkids they never needed to worry about money their entire lives since grandparents' money was there for anything they wanted.

[Anonymous]

Depends if their grandparents died. Parents become generous once they inherit or grandparents leave money to grandkids.

I used to think like you and I was raised not getting anything. But that’s not the way the rich get richer. In your 20s you have the most need for money that you’ll ever have. And it’s life changing in your 20s. You could have graduated without debt, gone to grad school, bought a house instead of paying rent, got married sooner, been able to have kids earlier (Dh and I waited 8 years to save up). I inherited 500k in my late 30s. Nothing changed. My big decisions were already over. If I have millions that my kids will inherit, I will give yearly to them versus just giving it to them when they’re in their 70s and don’t need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m from nyc and went to school in Boston. It felt like a good amount had parents buy them a place. I’m Asian American and had a lot of Asian friends whose parents bought them Manhattan apts in cash.

We are now in our 40s in McLean. I have no idea whose parents helped them or not. Some people are obviously from family money.

I'm also from NYC and went to school in Boston. I was bought a condo there. I get different amounts at different ages, but also for milestones (college graduation, marriage, child, etc.).

[Anonymous]

We’re in that position now. We are paying for college and have invested a fair amount for our kids in their name. They’ll end up with 6 figures invested for them.

We can give them way more every year but we’re not. We are giving them a headstart but after that it’s up to them. We will also pay for weddings but we’re not a bank.

[Anonymous]

or there could be a scenario where the patriarch or matriarch decides to sell the family business & the children are shareholders = windfall.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for three kids to go to college, buy a used car upon graduation, and a chunk of our weddings. They also began gifting cash when we were in our mid 20s and all working. The money allowed us to save and live comfortably, settle down with a spouse, have a kid or three, and have a stay at home parent for the early years. Now we are all in our 50s and have no need for money. They still give it because why not? Better to transfer it sooner then later. My parents never grossed more than $120k (two incomes through our childhoods). They saved and invested regularly and have a comfortable retirement. I have one kid and expect to do the same-ish.

[Anonymous]

I wonder why you are curious now. Like you, I was curious about that in my 20s. I lived in shared group houses while others bought expensive houses in the city. If they weren't lawyers, I assumed family money. Now I am near 50 and have realized my own dreams, and not really worried about how others got their money. In my family, it was you are on your own. Lots of pride in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t give you a precise answer but our trust is set up so that if we die while the kids are in college, school is paid for. After that they don’t get anything until about 35 and then again at 40 or 45. I think the split was 30/70.

I’d rethink this and give money sooner before 35. What if they want to marry? Or buy a house before kids or even be able to afford kids? Dh and I waited for kids. We wanted to save money and buy a house. But then we needed infertility treatments. Money earlier would have made a huge difference. It wouldn’t have changed our career trajectories though.

[Anonymous]

It’s very common in the top upper class, but not common for others. So if you think this is very common, you live in a bubble.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the replies. I know that the responses are necessarily going to be anecdotal and it doesn't really matter one way or another, but I appreciate the insights.