Struggling with the physical side of dating

[Anonymous]

I’ve been OLD for the past 6 months or so, and have found the physical part of dating was at times awkward. For example, how am I supposed to show physical affection during a hike or trip to the museum? Haven’t even gotten farther than that. I think it’s because these guys are basically strangers and it honestly just feels weird to touch strangers. Any advice? One thing I’ve heard is to try to break the touch barrier early, because otherwise it will start to feel like the friend zone. If I have to make a first move, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman and was never good at dating or showing affection. The way it worked for me is when walking side by side, I brushed up next to him, accidental or otherwise, and our hands would brush up against each other, and we'd end up holding hands

[Anonymous]

Why are you trying to do this on the first date?

Physical affection should come naturally. How hard is it to hold a hand or reach for a hand on a hike brush a shoulder?

You just aren't into these guys I suspect. If it's this hard for you to figure out, I'd say you really aren't attracted to them at all. Either that your sort of a cold fish who expects the man to take the lead in all things physical. Nothing to do with OLD . I hate that acronym.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think it’s related to dating anxiety. I didn’t have this issue with my ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think it’s related to dating anxiety. I didn’t have this issue with my ex.

Take it easy on yourself, easier said than do I know, but don't start listening to those clowns who say you have to do XYZ or else. They aren't worth it. Just see dating as fun, and do what comes naturally to you. I suspect that when there's someone you are into the wanting to touch him will come and happen quite organically. I say this as someone who did the online dating there were those I didn't want to touch and those I was daydreaming about doing the deed with from date one and in between.

[Anonymous]

Second the advice to just relax. Keep dating and it will happen naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think it’s related to dating anxiety. I didn’t have this issue with my ex.

Take it easy on yourself, easier said than do I know, but don't start listening to those clowns who say you have to do XYZ or else. They aren't worth it. Just see dating as fun, and do what comes naturally to you. I suspect that when there's someone you are into the wanting to touch him will come and happen quite organically. I say this as someone who did the online dating there were those I didn't want to touch and those I was daydreaming about doing the deed with from date one and in between.

But what if I have no interest in “doing the deed” with anyone? I mean, is that the only thing there is to post-divorce dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think it’s related to dating anxiety. I didn’t have this issue with my ex.

Take it easy on yourself, easier said than do I know, but don't start listening to those clowns who say you have to do XYZ or else. They aren't worth it. Just see dating as fun, and do what comes naturally to you. I suspect that when there's someone you are into the wanting to touch him will come and happen quite organically. I say this as someone who did the online dating there were those I didn't want to touch and those I was daydreaming about doing the deed with from date one and in between.

But what if I have no interest in “doing the deed” with anyone? I mean, is that the only thing there is to post-divorce dating?

Middle-aged man here. If you have no interests in that side of it, you probably need therapy first. Most men are going to expect that as a normal part of a relationship. Not on the first date, but eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think it’s related to dating anxiety. I didn’t have this issue with my ex.

Take it easy on yourself, easier said than do I know, but don't start listening to those clowns who say you have to do XYZ or else. They aren't worth it. Just see dating as fun, and do what comes naturally to you. I suspect that when there's someone you are into the wanting to touch him will come and happen quite organically. I say this as someone who did the online dating there were those I didn't want to touch and those I was daydreaming about doing the deed with from date one and in between.

But what if I have no interest in “doing the deed” with anyone? I mean, is that the only thing there is to post-divorce dating?

If you want to date men, do the dating stuff. That includes sex.

If you don’t want to have sex, hang out with friends from a Meetup group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think it’s related to dating anxiety. I didn’t have this issue with my ex.

Take it easy on yourself, easier said than do I know, but don't start listening to those clowns who say you have to do XYZ or else. They aren't worth it. Just see dating as fun, and do what comes naturally to you. I suspect that when there's someone you are into the wanting to touch him will come and happen quite organically. I say this as someone who did the online dating there were those I didn't want to touch and those I was daydreaming about doing the deed with from date one and in between.

But what if I have no interest in “doing the deed” with anyone? I mean, is that the only thing there is to post-divorce dating?

OP here. This isn’t my post. I just said we hadn’t gotten that far at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think it’s related to dating anxiety. I didn’t have this issue with my ex.

Take it easy on yourself, easier said than do I know, but don't start listening to those clowns who say you have to do XYZ or else. They aren't worth it. Just see dating as fun, and do what comes naturally to you. I suspect that when there's someone you are into the wanting to touch him will come and happen quite organically. I say this as someone who did the online dating there were those I didn't want to touch and those I was daydreaming about doing the deed with from date one and in between.

But what if I have no interest in “doing the deed” with anyone? I mean, is that the only thing there is to post-divorce dating?

A couple, things if you were previously into xes, I would step away from dating and possibly go into therapy to deal with whatever caused you to lose interest in it.

If you are confident you are firmly asexual then you need to put that in your dating profile.

[Anonymous]

I find that if you aren't making out by the end of the first date, the relationship probably isn't going to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find that if you aren't making out by the end of the first date, the relationship probably isn't going to happen.

Doesn't seem like your relationships are going anywhere since you are still dating.

This is the exact type of idiocy op should ignore.

[Anonymous]

Is there a reason you feel, OP, that you have to be the one to make the first move on the first date?

[Anonymous]

There should be natural opportunities. My now husband and I went to a billiards place for our first date. He very naturally leaned into me when we were playing air hockey, etc. it wasn’t pushy, but clear that he was interested.