What was my mom’s goal with this text?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I’m currently not speaking with my sister. It’s a long story. I don’t talk about it with my mom, but my sister does, and of course my mom is taking her side.
I know you’ll be chomping at the bit to know why, so: My sister insulted one of my kids. Again. She does it often. I’d had enough so I told her to get lost for a while. My mom thinks “that’s just the way she is, laugh and get over it.” So out of nowhere I get this long text from my mom berating me. At the end she says that she’s deleting this text and that I should too, nobody needs to ever know we had this “conversation”. What? Is she trying to start crap? Clearly I’m saving it and ignoring but what was her goal with this odd statement at the end? Does she want me to text my sister and be like, look how awful mom is? In an attempt to reconnect the two of us? Is she trying to solidify her relationship with my sister as then golden child? It’s so bizarre. |
Anonymous
| We'll never know what your mom was thinking. Don't give it any more of your time. Focus on your kids. |
Anonymous
| Maybe she regretted what she wrote. |
Anonymous
| "I know and can't unsee, but I doubt that matters to you." |
Anonymous
|
I'd reply: "If your first instinct after writing that is to ask me to delete it, perhaps an apology for sending it in the first place would have been the place to start".
|
Anonymous
| OP, I also have a difficult sister and a mother who tends to side with her (because she's so complicated and has suffered whereas I'm so easy and have succeeded). I would save and ignore this text. Yes, your mother wants and needs you to bury the hatchet. And, let's face it, you probably will at some point. After all, we are the "high ground" sisters, are we not?!? That said, you don't have to bury it now. Chop down a few more trees, build a bigger wall, and wait for a time when it feels right to you. |
Anonymous
She didn’t have to send it then! It was one, single, looong text. |
Anonymous
| Maybe just send her a thumbs up emoji. |
Anonymous
Yes, do that. And do NOT delete it. Keep it for future reference, because sadly, there will be a need for it. |
Anonymous
| You tell her you will not delete it or forget it happened because she doesn’t get to take back what she said, just like your sister doesn’t get to take back the words she said about your child. Remind her that people are absolutely always able to express opinions, but they also have to be prepared to accept the reactions of others when those opinions are hurtful. |
Anonymous
| I would be all "mom are you ok? This is so unlike you? Is anything wrong?" Pretty much assume she hit her head really hard and is not thinking coherently. |
Anonymous
This is the correct answer. But also: 1. Can you say a little more about what she ACTUALLY said, beyond your interpreting it as "berating"? 2. How much time passed between the first long text and her asking you to delete it? 3. Is it possible she was drinking? |
Anonymous
| Tell her that you're going to print it out on flyers and drop them from an airplane.....just for laughs. |
Anonymous
She said upthread it was one long text ending in the statement to delete it. |
Anonymous
Oh, that wasn't clear to me from the wording. "So out of nowhere I get this long text from my mom berating me. At the end she says that she’s deleting this text and that I should too, nobody needs to ever know we had this “conversation”." But I guess that is the most reasonable read. Wanted to clarify. Sometimes that could refer to a string of texts. |