I honestly hate my sister

[Anonymous]

To be honest I'm not sure I ever loved her. I think there was a brief period when I was maybe about 5 when I wanted her approval, and then at various points in the years between then and now I was hoping we could have a normal sister relationship. In truth, the happiest times in my life were first when she went away to college for 4 months and then 8 years later when I moved away for college.

I just can't stand the way the entire family revolves around her and that she thinks her opinion is on everything is the most important thing in the world. Most recently what has pissed me off is how she thinks she can speak on behalf of our deceased father, her self-proclaimed best auntie, and constantly tell our sister what she should do with her newborn. And now she's gotten the family pre-Thanksgiving canceled because she stupidly got COVID, and I say stupidly because she and her whole family got it because they just had to travel to a hotspot. What really ticks me off is she announces this with a fake apology about ruining plans, basically, the assumption that everything would be canceled because of her. I honestly just want to tell her to shut the hell up and she's not as important as she thinks she is or how the majority of people ( save me and our brother) think she is.
I fully realize this is our parents mainly our mother's fault who was basically obsessed with her and fawned over her but you would think now that we're about 40 she would have figured out life is not all about her.

I'm not even sure what kind of advice I'm looking for, but she just aggravated me again so I needed to vent.

[Anonymous]

Ah, so you’re jealous. I see. It’s very common!

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but you are the one with issues.

You should not experience something as strong as "hate" for such minor, minor things. You are ruining your life by giving life to destructive feelings. You're not ruining her life, at least, I hope not. You're just making yours worse.

Work with a therapist to address all your resentment and annoyances against this sister of yours. Distance yourself, don't answer every communication, roll your eyes, whatever it takes to see her as a mild irritant in your life, nothing more than that.

[Anonymous]

Can we please form a club of sisters who have narcissistic sisters? My parents overindulged my self-absorbed sister too and she was the golden child. I related to so much you wrote. My brother and I both think our parents created a monster by fawning over her so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we please form a club of sisters who have narcissistic sisters? My parents overindulged my self-absorbed sister too and she was the golden child. I related to so much you wrote. My brother and I both think our parents created a monster by fawning over her so much.

OP here. We can definately start a club.. This is exactly what it is. PArt of me wants to have compassion for her because our parents did create a monster, but the other part doesn't because she has made my life such a living hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but you are the one with issues.

You should not experience something as strong as "hate" for such minor, minor things. You are ruining your life by giving life to destructive feelings. You're not ruining her life, at least, I hope not. You're just making yours worse.

Work with a therapist to address all your resentment and annoyances against this sister of yours. Distance yourself, don't answer every communication, roll your eyes, whatever it takes to see her as a mild irritant in your life, nothing more than that.

OP here I don't hate her for what I mentioned these are just the most recent things that are pissing me off. I hate her because she told me I ruined her life, that our parents shouldn't have had me because she wasn't ready for it, she ruined my graduation, the countless names and verbal abuse she has hurled at me, she was physically abusive when we were younger, and could even be nice as long as I did exactly what she wanted and as long as I was not doing better than she was. There was never any consequence for any of this, the entire family still revolves around her.

You are correct I should get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Blame for getting covid is where I lost you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but you are the one with issues.

You should not experience something as strong as "hate" for such minor, minor things. You are ruining your life by giving life to destructive feelings. You're not ruining her life, at least, I hope not. You're just making yours worse.

Work with a therapist to address all your resentment and annoyances against this sister of yours. Distance yourself, don't answer every communication, roll your eyes, whatever it takes to see her as a mild irritant in your life, nothing more than that.

OP here I don't hate her for what I mentioned these are just the most recent things that are pissing me off. I hate her because she told me I ruined her life, that our parents shouldn't have had me because she wasn't ready for it, she ruined my graduation, the countless names and verbal abuse she has hurled at me, she was physically abusive when we were younger, and could even be nice as long as I did exactly what she wanted and as long as I was not doing better than she was. There was never any consequence for any of this, the entire family still revolves around her.

You are correct I should get therapy.

Then you messed up your original post. The serious stuff needs to get posted first, so that it's read. Any updates from you will get missed by more than half your readers.

Honestly, with the way you express yourself and choose to present your info, you sound immature and unable to get any perspective. Yes, please sort out your feelings. Mostly you need to stop this "woe-is-me" stuff. Plenty of us have had worse things in our lives than a nasty mentally disturbed sibling (I note that you may have some challenges in that department yourself, because mental illness runs in families but may present in different ways for each individual). Grow up and realize that your happiness in this one and only life of yours depends on what YOU make of it. You need to CHOOSE to be happy. If you think it's someone else's fault that you're not living your best life, the loser is ultimately YOURSELF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blame for getting covid is where I lost you.

It's not just getting COVID it's getting COVID because they were stupid enough to travel to a hotspot, not wear masks, and do this right before the family was supposed to get together. It's the self-absorption of it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blame for getting covid is where I lost you.

It's not just getting COVID it's getting COVID because they were stupid enough to travel to a hotspot, not wear masks, and do this right before the family was supposed to get together. It's the self-absorption of it all.

Isn’t the whole damn country a hot spot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blame for getting covid is where I lost you.

It's not just getting COVID it's getting COVID because they were stupid enough to travel to a hotspot, not wear masks, and do this right before the family was supposed to get together. It's the self-absorption of it all.

Isn’t the whole damn country a hot spot

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but you are the one with issues.

You should not experience something as strong as "hate" for such minor, minor things. You are ruining your life by giving life to destructive feelings. You're not ruining her life, at least, I hope not. You're just making yours worse.

Work with a therapist to address all your resentment and annoyances against this sister of yours. Distance yourself, don't answer every communication, roll your eyes, whatever it takes to see her as a mild irritant in your life, nothing more than that.

OP here I don't hate her for what I mentioned these are just the most recent things that are pissing me off. I hate her because she told me I ruined her life, that our parents shouldn't have had me because she wasn't ready for it, she ruined my graduation, the countless names and verbal abuse she has hurled at me, she was physically abusive when we were younger, and could even be nice as long as I did exactly what she wanted and as long as I was not doing better than she was. There was never any consequence for any of this, the entire family still revolves around her.

You are correct I should get therapy.

Then you messed up your original post. The serious stuff needs to get posted first, so that it's read. Any updates from you will get missed by more than half your readers.

Honestly, with the way you express yourself and choose to present your info, you sound immature and unable to get any perspective. Yes, please sort out your feelings. Mostly you need to stop this "woe-is-me" stuff. Plenty of us have had worse things in our lives than a nasty mentally disturbed sibling (I note that you may have some challenges in that department yourself, because mental illness runs in families but may present in different ways for each individual). Grow up and realize that your happiness in this one and only life of yours depends on what YOU make of it. You need to CHOOSE to be happy. If you think it's someone else's fault that you're not living your best life, the loser is ultimately YOURSELF.

Y
Yeah you're not going to turn this thread around on me so you can get people to attack me and get your jollies. So you can ee yourself out right now.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so re-framing this here:

- Sister annoys everyone ruining a celebration
- Sister annoys your other sister telling her what to do with her baby
- Sister annoys your mother because she thinks everything revolves around her

If she annoys you, you are probably in good company. Others just deal with it and don't speak up. It's okay, you are obviously the better sister. You just aren't the squeaky wheel everyone wants to just nod at till it shuts up.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like Why I Live at the PO by Eudora Welty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we please form a club of sisters who have narcissistic sisters? My parents overindulged my self-absorbed sister too and she was the golden child. I related to so much you wrote. My brother and I both think our parents created a monster by fawning over her so much.

OP here. We can definately start a club.. This is exactly what it is. PArt of me wants to have compassion for her because our parents did create a monster, but the other part doesn't because she has made my life such a living hell.

I could have written half of what you wrote OP. Except my sister and mother are both narcs and they fuel one another and punch me. The incessant fawning and self absorption is unbearable.