6th grade boy - meltdown over all homework
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Anonymous
| No learning disabilities but serious lack of confidence. No tutor needed as far as I can tell but just hates school and homework and we have end of the world screaming and crying. Ten minute assignments are two hour dramatic episodes. Anyone else? How do you deal? |
Anonymous
| No tutor needed? This is exactly what a tutor would help with. |
Anonymous
|
Was there no homework in 5th? Is this their first homework experience? I would speak to pediatrician, school counselor and teacher. Start with teacher, escalate to counselor and/or pediatrician if necessart.
If child as executive function challenges it can really overwhelming to have any homework. I believe you can have executive function challenges w/ no learning disabilities. I have a 3rd grader who struggles with out of school assignment. I get it and I empathize |
Anonymous
| The anxiety and lack of confidence come from somewhere. What I mean is the screaming meltdown is the symptom, not the problem. If he hasn’t been evaluated for a learning disability you don’t know he doesn’t have one. For example, many smart dyslexics are never diagnosed because they can compensate. Instead they they hate school, think they are stupid, and get called lazy a lot. I know because I was one! (Still dyslexic, but at least now I know what is up with me.) I don’t know much about other learning challenges, but it seems to me your son might benefit from an assessment. |
Anonymous
| We sit down and work through it together or go to teacher support. |
Anonymous
| I do schoolwork in partnership with my ADHD/ASD kid and it makes the whole process go much better. Last year, I would scribe for him sometimes, which helped to build his confidence. Now he's doing more assignments on his own. Would music help while working? That helps my kid. |
Anonymous
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Was he required to do homework in elementary school?
If not, congrats on the monster you created. Enjoy! |
Anonymous
You are a terrible person. |
Anonymous
how kind. |
Anonymous
There is always going to be a first year that kids have to start doing homework. Lots of them roll with it. Most don't have meltdowns. OP, what happens if you just say, "Fine, it's your homework and it's your grade"? |
Anonymous
+1 this has nothing to do with when homework was introduced. It may have something to do with the fact that the re-entry to full time school is difficult for kids. It may be an undiagnosed learning disability or executive function issue. Either way OP couldn’t control whether homework was assigned in 5th grade. |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry that this is so hard. Can you make sure he has a good snack first. And then start with whatever is the easiest homework. I would try to be nearby to answer questions but not hovering where he is worried to make a mistake.
Also, when you are both calm, have a discussion about how homework time can be more efficient and ask for his suggestions. Maybe music would help or setting a timer or a dedicated homework spot. I would also take the position that as long as he is actually doing the homework, he won’t have to do it for more than 20 minutes. You may also want to have a conversation with his teacher(s) to get a sense of which homework is a priority so you can focus on that and let the rest go. |
Anonymous
| This is PP. You may want to consider that he may be struggling with executive functioning/ADHD, because this type of response to 10 minutes of homework at this age is atypical. |
Anonymous
| A boy age 11-12 is having a huge growth spurt and needs to eat a ton. He needs not just a snack but a full meal with lots of protein....more often and larger than the rest of the family. |
Anonymous
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After school, our son gets a snack and then has to sit at the dining room table next to one of us. We go through all of his classes and makes a list of assessments and upcoming tests. We started having to go through class by class and making the list with him but now he’s getting better about keeping up with it independently. Then he needs to sit at the table until his homework is done. If he gets distracted, we redirect back to homework but otherwise try hard not to nag him, get irritated, etc. Not pointing out that if he would just focus and stop complaining, he would be done already takes much more self control than it should.
It’s been a painful process but he has gotten better about just doing it. I am not sure what we are going to do when I go back to working at the office full time. Trying to do homework after dinner is the kiss of death for us- he’s just too tired. One final thought- you might want to talk to his pediatrician because he might have underlying anxiety or other issues that need to be addressed. |