Nudity

[Anonymous]

I grew up with older parents who didn’t say I love you but were otherwise loving parents, with pretty firm boundaries. I don’t think I ever saw my dad naked and remember vaguely bathing with my mom up to age 4 or 5 but never after that. I’m not a prudish person but I do cover myself after showering, unless I’m just with dh or alone. Dh does similarly.

Somehow, my kids seem to have inherited a “nudist gene” from somewhere. They regularly hang out naked before and after bath time/when getting dressed or in pajamas, around me, my husband, babysitter and each other. It’s not an “issue” per se but I wonder if/when it might become one. My oldest is 12 and hasn’t really started puberty yet, but at what point should she stop being naked around her younger brother? Other sibs are 9 (girl) and 7 (boy). They all share a bathroom and sometimes still shower together. Should I be putting a stop to it? I definitely don’t want to give any of my kids body issues, or tell them that their bodies need to be covered up (they have no issues covering up/wearing clothing in all public spaces and even downstairs in our home), as they know to cover up in public. But could this become an issue as they get older?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine in front of each other but not the babysitter. When I was a Nanny I used to have the kids shower together after swimming. I told them that when one of them wanted to stop we would. The girl was 9 and the boy 7 the summer she wanted to shower alone, which was fine. Our DD is now 9 anc we all see each other naked ( 2 mom family so no male parts around) She is never naked in front of anyone else though. Once she was toilet trained there was no need. Only we have seen her naked since then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine in front of each other but not the babysitter. When I was a Nanny I used to have the kids shower together after swimming. I told them that when one of them wanted to stop we would. The girl was 9 and the boy 7 the summer she wanted to shower alone, which was fine. Our DD is now 9 anc we all see each other naked ( 2 mom family so no male parts around) She is never naked in front of anyone else though. Once she was toilet trained there was no need. Only we have seen her naked since then.

Our sitter is an au pair who has been with us for over a year. And we’ve had au pairs since our oldest was 5, they have always helped with bath time, potty training, etc.

[Anonymous]

In Europe, nudity is far more accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Europe, nudity is far more accepted.

Dh is European, perhaps that is why he hasn’t mentioned anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with older parents who didn’t say I love you but were otherwise loving parents, with pretty firm boundaries. I don’t think I ever saw my dad naked and remember vaguely bathing with my mom up to age 4 or 5 but never after that. I’m not a prudish person but I do cover myself after showering, unless I’m just with dh or alone. Dh does similarly.

Somehow, my kids seem to have inherited a “nudist gene” from somewhere. They regularly hang out naked before and after bath time/when getting dressed or in pajamas, around me, my husband, babysitter and each other. It’s not an “issue” per se but I wonder if/when it might become one. My oldest is 12 and hasn’t really started puberty yet, but at what point should she stop being naked around her younger brother? Other sibs are 9 (girl) and 7 (boy). They all share a bathroom and sometimes still shower together. Should I be putting a stop to it? I definitely don’t want to give any of my kids body issues, or tell them that their bodies need to be covered up (they have no issues covering up/wearing clothing in all public spaces and even downstairs in our home), as they know to cover up in public. But could this become an issue as they get older?

Now, is the time.

[Anonymous]

My kids were like this. Puberty, specifically body hair made them more modest. In my experience, this happened quite naturally and I didn’t “do” anything. Mine were girl then boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with older parents who didn’t say I love you but were otherwise loving parents, with pretty firm boundaries. I don’t think I ever saw my dad naked and remember vaguely bathing with my mom up to age 4 or 5 but never after that. I’m not a prudish person but I do cover myself after showering, unless I’m just with dh or alone. Dh does similarly.

Somehow, my kids seem to have inherited a “nudist gene” from somewhere. They regularly hang out naked before and after bath time/when getting dressed or in pajamas, around me, my husband, babysitter and each other. It’s not an “issue” per se but I wonder if/when it might become one. My oldest is 12 and hasn’t really started puberty yet, but at what point should she stop being naked around her younger brother? Other sibs are 9 (girl) and 7 (boy). They all share a bathroom and sometimes still shower together. Should I be putting a stop to it? I definitely don’t want to give any of my kids body issues, or tell them that their bodies need to be covered up (they have no issues covering up/wearing clothing in all public spaces and even downstairs in our home), as they know to cover up in public. But could this become an issue as they get older?

Now, is the time.

Especially the 12 year old. You can just talk about their bodies being private (not shameful or bad). That they get to control who sees it or touches them.

Those conversations should be happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with older parents who didn’t say I love you but were otherwise loving parents, with pretty firm boundaries. I don’t think I ever saw my dad naked and remember vaguely bathing with my mom up to age 4 or 5 but never after that. I’m not a prudish person but I do cover myself after showering, unless I’m just with dh or alone. Dh does similarly.

Somehow, my kids seem to have inherited a “nudist gene” from somewhere. They regularly hang out naked before and after bath time/when getting dressed or in pajamas, around me, my husband, babysitter and each other. It’s not an “issue” per se but I wonder if/when it might become one. My oldest is 12 and hasn’t really started puberty yet, but at what point should she stop being naked around her younger brother? Other sibs are 9 (girl) and 7 (boy). They all share a bathroom and sometimes still shower together. Should I be putting a stop to it? I definitely don’t want to give any of my kids body issues, or tell them that their bodies need to be covered up (they have no issues covering up/wearing clothing in all public spaces and even downstairs in our home), as they know to cover up in public. But could this become an issue as they get older?

Now, is the time.

Especially the 12 year old. You can just talk about their bodies being private (not shameful or bad). That they get to control who sees it or touches them.

Those conversations should be happening.

Op - the private/no one touches their body conversations have happened since they were tiny. They know they control who sees or touches them. The question is is it ok for them to be naked around each other and parents at this point?

[Anonymous]

I think 12 is old too old for this. Your 12 yr old doesn’t have breast buds or public hair at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 12 is old too old for this. Your 12 yr old doesn’t have breast buds or public hair at all?

I don’t think it’s too old if your kid is fine with it

And lol on the PUBLIC hair. That’s what my DD called it when she read one of those American girl doll books about puberty. She is 13 and still a happy nudist but with the arrival of “public” hair she started adding underpants to make it “private hair”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 12 is old too old for this. Your 12 yr old doesn’t have breast buds or public hair at all?

Op, no she doesn’t. She just turned 12. Saw her ped last week who said she thinks puberty is still about a year off for her. Fine by me, I had my period at 11 and for her sake I’m glad it didn’t start that early.

[Anonymous]

No more showering together at this age, really. Better to have some privacy for each of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think 12 is old too old for this. Your 12 yr old doesn’t have breast buds or public hair at all?

Op, no she doesn’t. She just turned 12. Saw her ped last week who said she thinks puberty is still about a year off for her. Fine by me, I had my period at 11 and for her sake I’m glad it didn’t start that early.

Still..12 is still old to be having a lot of naked time with siblings

Naked as in briefly in passing from one room to the other, no big deal. But the bathing, naked conversations, naked playing (not dr, just general play while nude) should be phased out if that is going on still.

[Anonymous]

Look up per se in the dictionary and probably encourage the 12 year old to shower alone now.