Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite

Anonymous
Do you invite steady boyfriend/girlfriend of your (out of state) college kids to your home? Do you give them gifts? Do you include them on family trips?
Anonymous
I was only invited when the guy was considering marriage. Arrived two days after Christmas. Parents didn’t give me gifts. Unless you’re positive your kid is going to propose, or the gf/bf has nowhere to go, I’d invite them for a few days after the actual holiday.
Anonymous
I was invited by my college boyfriend to his parents' house for Christmas break. Maybe a little diffferent as I'm an international student so no family to go home to during Christmas break.

Same with my now husband. First year out of college, it was a last minute invite to Christmas at his parents' out of town 😁. We had only been dating a few weeks. His parents gave my gifts - nothing big, I think it was Bath Body Works stuff. My MIL also tweaked their Christmas brunch menu to make sure I have something to eat - I don't eat pork.
Anonymous
My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!
Anonymous
I would not invite them on family trips, but home for the holidays (or other friends, yes baring covid). Get them gifts, of course if I got everyone else gifts.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!


They are 18 and adults.
Anonymous
I’m married now but my parents invited my now DH to family holidays once we started living together. At that point we were planning on engagement and marriage. We actually got engaged while at my extended family’s family reunion.
Anonymous
I would invite them during the holiday break, but wouldn’t they want to be with their family for Christmas Day? No gift for a dating situation. If you are feeding him, isn’t that enough?
Anonymous
DW and I met in college. By junior year we were visiting each other’s houses for thanksgiving and Christmas.
Anonymous
No, not unless they are serious, like getting married eventually serious.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!


They are 18 and adults.


No, they are just 18. She's not an adult. She's just an 18 yr old.
Anonymous
Yes my 20 year old’s girlfriend (for about a year), is coming to our home for thanksgiving, Christmas and NYE. I will get her a couple of gifts. She also went on family vacation with us in August. They don’t live together, but she’s welcome to our family gatherings.
Anonymous
My now husband came home with me from college for Thanksgiving twice, but he lived on the west coast and we went to school on the east coast. Our thanksgiving break was really short and he had never gone home for it. While in law school I went to his family for thanksgiving 2 years and Christmas the final year when we were engaged. His parents gave me some small gifts; I thought it was because I wasn’t family yet, but it just turns out they don’t really give me anything more than tokens, ever.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!


They are 18 and adults.


No, they are just 18. She's not an adult. She's just an 18 yr old.


Whatever. We and the law disagree with infantilizing your adult child.

-NP
Anonymous
My MIL invited me for every holiday when DH and I were in college. She gave me small trinkety gifts but did give me something. I wouldn’t hesitate.
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