How to convince DH to rehome dog?

[Anonymous]

We got a puppy last December who is now a year old. DH really wanted a puppy and bit off more than he can chew. We are not a family fit for a dog. We have 4 kids including an infant, both work FT, and my job in particular is very busy with longer hours. We both WFH but the dog literally is crated all day and night. On a good day he may be out for an hour. We just don’t have the time to manage and watch him all day. DH did do training classes but because we don’t continue practicing, it was money down the drain. Kids have no interest in the dog. DH will not rehome him. There is a sentimental connection that I think DH holds on to (dog was born the day his mom passed away and he named the dog something that connects to mom), so I do understand that piece, however, I just find it completely cruel to have a dog sitting here all day. He gets a quick morning walk and quick night walk but that’s it. I literally do not have time to step up and take care of everything for the dog myself. How can I get DH to agree to rehome? How can I gently bring it up? He thinks I resent the dog so I fear bringing it up will make him think I just don’t want the dog around.

Please, no cruel comments. I really feel awful that this puppy has such a horrible quality of life. He needs to be in a loving home who has time for him.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’ll add that the puppy is crated because he isn’t trustworthy to be out without supervision. Still eats everything, scratches at floors, tears up anything he can get to. Also not trusted to not poop and pee around the house (heck, he pooped in his own crate this morning).

[Anonymous]

You don't have a yard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have a yard?

It’s not fenced. Now, we are planning to move to a larger home in the next few months and plan on fencing if not already done, so I suppose that may help?

[Anonymous]

Dog walker or doggie day care. You are right that you are not properly caring for the dog. If he won’t give the dig up, please do a walker or daycare for the sake of the animal.

[Anonymous]

Explain you are not honoring his mother by neglecting another living creature. The pup needs to be where it can have more freedom & attention.

[Anonymous]

Can you dog proof one room (ours is the kitchen)? That’s where doggie sits most of the day, or wanders over to our work area. Anything not dog proofed is gated off.
Fenced yard would also be perfect- we have a tiny townhouse backyard but it’s fenced and dog loves to go out, lie in the sun, dig, etc and then come back in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dog walker or doggie day care. You are right that you are not properly caring for the dog. If he won’t give the dig up, please do a walker or daycare for the sake of the animal.

OP here. DH is too cheap to pay someone to do this. I will absolutely suggest it to exhaust all options, but he won’t want to spend that money.

[Anonymous]

Keep the dog. Rehome the husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you dog proof one room (ours is the kitchen)? That’s where doggie sits most of the day, or wanders over to our work area. Anything not dog proofed is gated off.
Fenced yard would also be perfect- we have a tiny townhouse backyard but it’s fenced and dog loves to go out, lie in the sun, dig, etc and then come back in.

Good idea, I’ll see if we can use our kitchen (we have carpet everywhere else). That’s where his crate is anyway. I appreciate the suggestions, I realize I sort of had a defeatist attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dog walker or doggie day care. You are right that you are not properly caring for the dog. If he won’t give the dig up, please do a walker or daycare for the sake of the animal.

OP here. DH is too cheap to pay someone to do this. I will absolutely suggest it to exhaust all options, but he won’t want to spend that money.

Wow. You need to lay down the law. Pony up the money or do the dang work yourself. Poor dog. I hope your DH has redeeming qualities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We got a puppy last December who is now a year old. DH really wanted a puppy and bit off more than he can chew. We are not a family fit for a dog. We have 4 kids including an infant, both work FT, and my job in particular is very busy with longer hours. We both WFH but the dog literally is crated all day and night. On a good day he may be out for an hour. We just don’t have the time to manage and watch him all day. DH did do training classes but because we don’t continue practicing, it was money down the drain. Kids have no interest in the dog. DH will not rehome him. There is a sentimental connection that I think DH holds on to (dog was born the day his mom passed away and he named the dog something that connects to mom), so I do understand that piece, however, I just find it completely cruel to have a dog sitting here all day. He gets a quick morning walk and quick night walk but that’s it. I literally do not have time to step up and take care of everything for the dog myself. How can I get DH to agree to rehome? How can I gently bring it up? He thinks I resent the dog so I fear bringing it up will make him think I just don’t want the dog around.

Please, no cruel comments. I really feel awful that this puppy has such a horrible quality of life. He needs to be in a loving home who has time for him.

This is true. You don’t want the dog around. Why do you need to be gentle about this? Own it. This isn’t a bad thing. The dog has a horrible quality of life and you don’t want to be a part of that anymore. That’s valid. Why tiptoe around the issue so much?

[Anonymous]

The situation is more dire than you realize. Your dog is missing socialization during a critical window. No one is teaching him how to be a pet. Lots of people will tolerate a puppy who is destructive and not housebroken, but it will be harder to place an adult dog with these issues. Your dog is not getting adequate mental stimulation or exercise. Pooping in his crate is a sign that he’s under stress from the neglect. This is about more than his current poor quality of life; every month that passes with his living under these conditions reduces the pool of potential adopters.

Are you honest with your vet about your dog’s home life? Would your dh be honest with friends about the dog spending 23 hours a day in his crate? If he would never divulge that, it’s because deep down, he knows he’s a neglectful dog owner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dog walker or doggie day care. You are right that you are not properly caring for the dog. If he won’t give the dig up, please do a walker or daycare for the sake of the animal.

OP here. DH is too cheap to pay someone to do this. I will absolutely suggest it to exhaust all options, but he won’t want to spend that money.

And how would you react if he were abusing one of your kids this way? Hire the dog walker or take the dog to doggie day care yourself.

[Anonymous]

Your dog is crated 23 hours a day approx? And your kids are seeing this so it normal uses this cruelty to them. This is inhumane OP and you need to find this dog a good home. How can you be married to someone who thinks this is ok? This blows my mind.