Accomodating special diets on Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

How far do you go to acomodate diets of people that are not battling specific conditions or even obese. I want to be welcoming/accomodating but we have the same menu every year and every one else just kind of eats it and goes back to whatever they consider healthy the next day. WHen they visited the last time everything revovled around their food needs. The husband and wife are on very different diets too. They do not eat the same meals at home. Add 1 steamed plain veggie dish and call it a day? Or be a better person and call them to ask how best to accomodate them? They are traveling so I can not ask them to bring anything.

[Anonymous]

Are they generally narcissistic?
Are they flying in or driving?

[Anonymous]

For the sake of peace, and given that it is just one day, I'd contact them and ask. Specifically, I'd say something like, "We're going to have the regular menu, same as always. Is there anything I can add on to make it good for you, too, as options?" And then do it.

Frankly, I'd do it really well if the asks were limited or small. If they want a lot, some of it would be store-bought, or prepared in advance to be frozen and reheated day of.

[Anonymous]

Send them an email about two weeks out.

“Hi Beth and Gary, I wanted to let you know the menu you so you can plan around it as needed. Here’s what I’m serving: [list].”

As long as you have at least one plain steamed vegetable dish or a green salad, there is zero reason why they can’t make a meal of it.

Turkey, a green salad, a small helping of cranberry sauce, and a small scoop of potatoes is a fine meal for people with “special” diet needs.

Make sure you have still water and sparkling water in addition to wine, too, in case they are avoiding alcohol because of their diet.

How far are they traveling? Are they staying in a hotel or something? Because I’m going to push back and say unless it is air travel, they absolutely can bring dishes, even if it’s a long drive. It’s called a cooler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How far do you go to acomodate diets of people that are not battling specific conditions or even obese. I want to be welcoming/accomodating but we have the same menu every year and every one else just kind of eats it and goes back to whatever they consider healthy the next day. WHen they visited the last time everything revovled around their food needs. The husband and wife are on very different diets too. They do not eat the same meals at home. Add 1 steamed plain veggie dish and call it a day? Or be a better person and call them to ask how best to accomodate them? They are traveling so I can not ask them to bring anything.

Are you certain of this? I have a gluten sensitivity that exacerbates an auto-immune disease. I won't end up in the ER, but I'll be miserable for days and have to increase my medication regimen if someone serves me gluten (which has happened). They probably won't know what happened since I'm private about my medical history.

In general, if I'm a guest and the host knows of my condition, I hope they will at least make sure I won't leave with a growling stomach (which means being able to eat more than some steamed veggies). I don't expect every dish to have a GF version, though. If you are hosting, I don't see what the issue is with asking them how you can accommodate them...especially since they are traveling and likely won't be able to get something easily when they get back to the hotel. If you don't plan to accommodate them, you should also let them know that so they can figure out an alternative. Right now you just sound judgmental and bitter than you have to host and feed these people. Don't invite them over in the future.

[Anonymous]

I embrace it because I really don’t like Thanksgiving food. The vegan, paleo, GF, keto guests give me an excuse to make something that actually has flavor.

[Anonymous]

What are their diets? Standard thanksgiving menu can work for a load of diets with some small adjustments.

But these two sound annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How far do you go to acomodate diets of people that are not battling specific conditions or even obese. I want to be welcoming/accomodating but we have the same menu every year and every one else just kind of eats it and goes back to whatever they consider healthy the next day. WHen they visited the last time everything revovled around their food needs. The husband and wife are on very different diets too. They do not eat the same meals at home. Add 1 steamed plain veggie dish and call it a day? Or be a better person and call them to ask how best to accomodate them? They are traveling so I can not ask them to bring anything.

Are you certain of this? I have a gluten sensitivity that exacerbates an auto-immune disease. I won't end up in the ER, but I'll be miserable for days and have to increase my medication regimen if someone serves me gluten (which has happened). They probably won't know what happened since I'm private about my medical history.

In general, if I'm a guest and the host knows of my condition, I hope they will at least make sure I won't leave with a growling stomach (which means being able to eat more than some steamed veggies). I don't expect every dish to have a GF version, though. If you are hosting, I don't see what the issue is with asking them how you can accommodate them...especially since they are traveling and likely won't be able to get something easily when they get back to the hotel. If you don't plan to accommodate them, you should also let them know that so they can figure out an alternative. Right now you just sound judgmental and bitter than you have to host and feed these people. Don't invite them over in the future.

NP. Why are you making up fiction? There’s no reason not to take OP at her word that they don’t have medical issues or significant food allergies or what have you. And if someone chooses to be “private” about their condition, great, but then you can’t expect your hosts to magically accommodate you. OP says in her original post that last time “everything revolved around their food needs,” so not sure why you needed to bring your gluten sensitivity and suffering-in-silence dynamics into this situation, which is entirely different and has zero to do with you.

[Anonymous]

We always make GF turkey, gravy, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, salad, green beans, apple crumble. Everything but stuffing which is made separate from the turkey. Its pretty easy.

Vegan would be harder for me but we could make it work, I would still have turkey though.

[Anonymous]

Covid was their insperation to be healthier but they went different directions with it. It is quite unlikely they they were both diagnosed seperate conditons at the same time and did not share the info.

One is not eating meat, sugar and grains so no turkey/stuffing/not sure about cranberry with the sugar.

The other is doing Noom. I do not know its rules...similar to WW I think?

They will be flying in the day of...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How far do you go to acomodate diets of people that are not battling specific conditions or even obese. I want to be welcoming/accomodating but we have the same menu every year and every one else just kind of eats it and goes back to whatever they consider healthy the next day. WHen they visited the last time everything revovled around their food needs. The husband and wife are on very different diets too. They do not eat the same meals at home. Add 1 steamed plain veggie dish and call it a day? Or be a better person and call them to ask how best to accomodate them? They are traveling so I can not ask them to bring anything.

Are you certain of this? I have a gluten sensitivity that exacerbates an auto-immune disease. I won't end up in the ER, but I'll be miserable for days and have to increase my medication regimen if someone serves me gluten (which has happened). They probably won't know what happened since I'm private about my medical history.

In general, if I'm a guest and the host knows of my condition, I hope they will at least make sure I won't leave with a growling stomach (which means being able to eat more than some steamed veggies). I don't expect every dish to have a GF version, though. If you are hosting, I don't see what the issue is with asking them how you can accommodate them...especially since they are traveling and likely won't be able to get something easily when they get back to the hotel. If you don't plan to accommodate them, you should also let them know that so they can figure out an alternative. Right now you just sound judgmental and bitter than you have to host and feed these people. Don't invite them over in the future.

NP. Why are you making up fiction? There’s no reason not to take OP at her word that they don’t have medical issues or significant food allergies or what have you. And if someone chooses to be “private” about their condition, great, but then you can’t expect your hosts to magically accommodate you. OP says in her original post that last time “everything revolved around their food needs,” so not sure why you needed to bring your gluten sensitivity and suffering-in-silence dynamics into this situation, which is entirely different and has zero to do with you.

My point is that the guests may not have shared the medical reasons for their diets, but they may still exist. I don't think that it's a requirement that you share with your hosts why you have a specific diet. I have accommodated all kinds of diets as a host. I don't expect a medical history or not from someone's pastor to justify it.

I obviously let my hosts know I'm GF, but some people refuse to believe there could be non-celiac medical reasons to eat GF...so if they sneakily serve you gluten (which people definitely do) and you don't end up in the hospital right away, they may think it didn't do any harm. But it does for me.

OP doesn't sound like she cares to be a gracious host to these guests. Maybe they are really annoying. The point is that they are her guests. She knows they have dietary restrictions, so the obvious thing to do is ask them what would make the meal work for them. If it's not something OP is willing or able to do, she should let them know that. No matter why someone is on a restricted diet, nothing sucks worse than arriving somewhere that you can't eat a full meal without expecting it. Especially if you're traveling and not going back to your home with a stocked kitchen afterward.

[Anonymous]

Start with asking them what they want you to do to make a meal they will enjoy. Then plan accordingly, whether it's all prepped by you, or some outsourced, or some made in advance.

[Anonymous]

^^or if you just have to say that you can't accommodate, and they will have to pick something up on the way from the airport, or something. That's not ideal, obviously, but better than springing the lack of accommodation on them after they have already arrived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Covid was their insperation to be healthier but they went different directions with it. It is quite unlikely they they were both diagnosed seperate conditons at the same time and did not share the info.

One is not eating meat, sugar and grains so no turkey/stuffing/not sure about cranberry with the sugar.

The other is doing Noom. I do not know its rules...similar to WW I think?

They will be flying in the day of...

Seriously, just ask. Thanksgiving is easy, since the menu is pretty standard. They should be able to let you know what to do to make it work for their diets. Noom is all about putting food in portion controlled boxes, I think, so it might be that they can eat anything...they'll just need to measure it out in those little color-coded boxes.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I think if we were just told that the family was vegan now, I could just accomodate that. I would not change the standard menu that the rest of the family look forward to but I would add 1-2 vegan dishes and a vegan dessert. This is more complicated.