Did You Pick A Safe Guy?

[Anonymous]

I love my boyfriend but he is “ boring”. We have the same hobbies and I love him but he every “ vanilla”. I definitely will marry him and can’t see my life without him, but sometimes I do think about if I picked someone else. He’s the safe option. Does anyone else feel like they gave up a little bit of their wild self and ended up with a “ safe” guy? Someone very vanilla.

[Anonymous]

How do you define exciting?

If by exciting you mean relationship drama or fighting then yes, you should ignore that. If you're bored like you're tired If sex of hanging out with him, you should break up.

[Anonymous]

My husband is safe and that's great. Your guy needs an appreciative girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my boyfriend but he is “ boring”. We have the same hobbies and I love him but he every “ vanilla”. I definitely will marry him and can’t see my life without him, but sometimes I do think about if I picked someone else. He’s the safe option. Does anyone else feel like they gave up a little bit of their wild self and ended up with a “ safe” guy? Someone very vanilla.

"I'd like a stinking aching shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavors"-Barenaked Ladies
I hate that you use vanilla as a synonym for boring. It gives a little something to pancake/waffle mix and frozen sweet cream. What is my wild self--stereotypical black clothes like it's a uniform, standardized piercings, conformist goth makeup? Drugs, Promiscuity, Andrenaline risk/physical harm potential? Bad boys become the most overprotective. I would however seek outside friendship for independent thought if I were you.

[Anonymous]

You will hate him and your boring children by the end of the decade. Don't do it.

[Anonymous]

My husband is safe, but he is far from boring! I think I was the boring one and very safe and he has definitely made my life far more exciting and interesting. I was definitely vanilla when it came to sex and he has really brought me out of my shell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you define exciting?

If by exciting you mean relationship drama or fighting then yes, you should ignore that. If you're bored like you're tired If sex of hanging out with him, you should break up.

OP here. Sex life is probably best I’ve had. I love being with him. No drama or fighting. He’s just not adventurous. I love to travel and had exes who used to love it but my boyfriend hates it. He doesn’t like to try new things. We go to the same places and the same restaurants all of the time. I will offer up other places and he will turn it down. I’ve really realized that this is just who he is.

[Anonymous]

You need to stop talking about marriage. You’re not even close to being ready or mature enough to understand what you’re signing on for if this is what you’re pondering.

Is he your safe place to fall?
Does he “get” you?
Can you let down your guard with him and not feel judged?
Does he make you a better person?

And are you the same for him with these questions? If not, and if you feel you are settling, do him a favor and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you define exciting?

If by exciting you mean relationship drama or fighting then yes, you should ignore that. If you're bored like you're tired If sex of hanging out with him, you should break up.

OP here. Sex life is probably best I’ve had. I love being with him. No drama or fighting. He’s just not adventurous. I love to travel and had exes who used to love it but my boyfriend hates it. He doesn’t like to try new things. We go to the same places and the same restaurants all of the time. I will offer up other places and he will turn it down. I’ve really realized that this is just who he is.

This isn't going to end well, as a pp said after you get the ring and babies you will be one of the wives posting here about how much they hate their introverted husband. A nice guy you like doesn't mean he's right for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to stop talking about marriage. You’re not even close to being ready or mature enough to understand what you’re signing on for if this is what you’re pondering.

Is he your safe place to fall?
Does he “get” you?
Can you let down your guard with him and not feel judged?
Does he make you a better person?

And are you the same for him with these questions? If not, and if you feel you are settling, do him a favor and move on.

blah blah blah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you define exciting?

If by exciting you mean relationship drama or fighting then yes, you should ignore that. If you're bored like you're tired If sex of hanging out with him, you should break up.

OP here. Sex life is probably best I’ve had. I love being with him. No drama or fighting. He’s just not adventurous. I love to travel and had exes who used to love it but my boyfriend hates it. He doesn’t like to try new things. We go to the same places and the same restaurants all of the time. I will offer up other places and he will turn it down. I’ve really realized that this is just who he is.

I see resentment in your future. The struggle to try new things would be a deal breaker for me no matter how great the sex was or how comfortable we are together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you define exciting?

If by exciting you mean relationship drama or fighting then yes, you should ignore that. If you're bored like you're tired If sex of hanging out with him, you should break up.

OP here. Sex life is probably best I’ve had. I love being with him. No drama or fighting. He’s just not adventurous. I love to travel and had exes who used to love it but my boyfriend hates it. He doesn’t like to try new things. We go to the same places and the same restaurants all of the time. I will offer up other places and he will turn it down. I’ve really realized that this is just who he is.

Can you not just order delivery for one from these other restaurants? How about traveling with your parents, solo, or on a women's retreat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you define exciting?

If by exciting you mean relationship drama or fighting then yes, you should ignore that. If you're bored like you're tired If sex of hanging out with him, you should break up.

OP here. Sex life is probably best I’ve had. I love being with him. No drama or fighting. He’s just not adventurous. I love to travel and had exes who used to love it but my boyfriend hates it. He doesn’t like to try new things. We go to the same places and the same restaurants all of the time. I will offer up other places and he will turn it down. I’ve really realized that this is just who he is.

My husband is “safe” and steady but loves to travel and try new things. Travel is my passion so that would be a dealbreaker for me.

[Anonymous]

You are confusing the "excitement" of the others for "real love" or "passion" when it's tremendous anxiety about how he will treat you. Safe is a word you are using in contrast to this anxiety, but consider, loyal, dedicated and stable. All things that make for a very good long term partnership.

[Anonymous]

I think you can have friends for travel and new restaurants.

Do you want kids? Talk about that stuff, what would you do for vacations etc that could be an issue