Would you be worried if your husband was working with his childhood crush
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Anonymous
| I know this is really silly on my part. But she was DH's first crush more than 20 years ago. Nothing ever happened between them because they were all of 12 years old, and she was never interested in him. And from everything DH has said she either doesn't remember who he is or finds him annoying. But it bothers me that he remembers her and thought it meaningful enough to tell me about her. |
Anonymous
| If it was unrequited I wouldn’t worry. My first crush is now a middle-aged balding lawyer in Florida somewhere. No thank you! First love would make me nervous to be honest, but if she didn’t care then, I doubt she cares now. |
Anonymous
| My husband’s first real GF from many years ago is still a very good friend of his and I really like her. I’ve never asked him if they had sex but since we’ve been happily married a long time I don’t worry about it. But she is divorced and very pretty so I’m not totally clueless! |
Anonymous
| OP here. She is pretty, yes I looked her up on FB, silly I know. I know logically it's no big deal at all, but at the same time why the hell would he tell me? It's not like she's an ex-girlfriend. |
Anonymous
| He told you because he loves you and you’re his confidant. He was 12, the girl rejected him and doesn’t seem to remember him. It’s absolutely nothing to be jealous or concerned about. |
Anonymous
| Saying childhood crush is like saying next door neighbor. It was the thought of a child but as an adult looking back the feelings are of an acquaintance, not sentimental like a movie. |
Anonymous
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No. I'm sure I wouldn't be attracted to my childhood crush now, in our 40s.
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Anonymous
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You have to watch Tvland's The Exes Season 4 Episode 1:The Devil Wears Hanes
https://www.tvland.com/episodes/9po8u7/the-exes-the-devil-wears-hanes-season-4-ep-1 |
Anonymous
| This happened to me! DH had a new job, and in walked the girl he had a crush on in the 8th grade. He came home and told me all about it. We were newlyweds at the time, and I wasn't worried because 1) confident in his love and 2) he told me all about it. I got to know her because his coworkers were social, did happy hours and etc. I liked her, DH had good taste. Never worried about it - 10 years ago now. |
Anonymous
| Step your game up |
Anonymous
Op here, sounds like I need to be as confident as you |
Anonymous
DP here. It’s understandable that you’re not though. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I do think you should reframe the fact that he told you. To me that suggests it’s so little if a deal that he didn’t find it worth being careful about bringing it up. Instead of worrying about your confidence, I would a) practice a bit of cognitive behavioral therapy about this. What are you worried about? That he will line after her instead of you? What’s the actual evidence for this? What is the likelihood of it actually happening? If it did happen, could you get through it? Have you gotten through difficult things in your life before? Second, I would make sure to go on dates with your husband. Just maintain that connection with him. The way you’re talking about it suggests that if you did bring it up with him, you could have a good conversation about it and he could reassure you that he doesn’t actually care about her. When I think about crushes I had, I feel absolutely no romantic interest at all and I can’t believe I liked them. I think I crushed on them just because they were the most attractive person in my small little world, not because there was actually anything special about them. |
Anonymous
| No, I saw my childhood crush a few years ago and he was unrecognizable and unappealing. |
Anonymous
Ditto to this. |
Anonymous
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Aren't you and he best friends? Why wouldn't he tell you?
In fact, if he HADN"T told you and you somehow found out, you would be posting on here that he was probably cheating. Be happy he let you know. There is nothing you can do about so relax. |