Reply to Would you be worried if your husband was working with his childhood crush

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This happened to me! DH had a new job, and in walked the girl he had a crush on in the 8th grade. He came home and told me all about it. We were newlyweds at the time, and I wasn't worried because 1) confident in his love and 2) he told me all about it. I got to know her because his coworkers were social, did happy hours and etc. I liked her, DH had good taste. Never worried about it - 10 years ago now.[/quote]

Op here, sounds like I need to be as confident as you[/quote]

DP here. It’s understandable that you’re not though. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I do think you should reframe the fact that he told you. To me that suggests it’s so little if a deal that he didn’t find it worth being careful about bringing it up.

Instead of worrying about your confidence, I would a) practice a bit of cognitive behavioral therapy about this. What are you worried about? That he will line after her instead of you? What’s the actual evidence for this? What is the likelihood of it actually happening? If it did happen, could you get through it? Have you gotten through difficult things in your life before?

Second, I would make sure to go on dates with your husband. Just maintain that connection with him. The way you’re talking about it suggests that if you did bring it up with him, you could have a good conversation about it and he could reassure you that he doesn’t actually care about her. When I think about crushes I had, I feel absolutely no romantic interest at all and I can’t believe I liked them. I think I crushed on them just because they were the most attractive person in my small little world, not because there was actually anything special about them. [/quote]

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