Denied Field Day for hallway horseplay—is this fair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant tell if this is elementary or middle school? I would want more information about when the prior warnings were given and what they were for. If this is middle school and both boys were given warnings for the same behavior more than once then yes I think its fair.

I will get jumped on for this but if its elementary school I dont believe its at all fair. Young bodies need movement and field day is more of a right than a privilege. On days like today when recess was canceled I would expect extra horseplay. And its usually not an even fair sided story in middle school, meaning, one child reacts to someone pushing their buttons and its more likely to be out of the childs control. I would not allow for my child in elementary school to miss field day as a punishment.

You wouldn't allow it? How would you do that? Whatever the answer, could you also apply that strategy towards not allowing your child to body slam in the hallway?

I would tell the school i didnt agree or approve of that consequence. I would talk to the principal and teacher about consequences we all agree on. No school is permitted to remove children from instruction or activities without a lot of documentation.

When the parents of the child your child body slams choose to press assault charges, you understand you won’t be consulted for your agreement, right?

This isnt a case of assault. It was consenting children playing in an inappropriate way. Both children are "at fault" if you are choosing to view it that way, no one has any higher ground to blame the other.

One child harming another is a very different scenario than OP describes. Dont be so dramatic. These are kids who engage in this sort of behavior regularly and it's fine, it just wasn't fine at school in that moment in that environment. The consequence should teach that lesson. Neither of these kids are criminals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would care that my kid is out of control and trying to body slam another kid in the school hallway!

And they had warned about it before and the parent is questioning the punishment - sounds like a bunch of predictably terrible behaved entitled kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant tell if this is elementary or middle school? I would want more information about when the prior warnings were given and what they were for. If this is middle school and both boys were given warnings for the same behavior more than once then yes I think its fair.

I will get jumped on for this but if its elementary school I dont believe its at all fair. Young bodies need movement and field day is more of a right than a privilege. On days like today when recess was canceled I would expect extra horseplay. And its usually not an even fair sided story in middle school, meaning, one child reacts to someone pushing their buttons and its more likely to be out of the childs control. I would not allow for my child in elementary school to miss field day as a punishment.

You wouldn't allow it? How would you do that? Whatever the answer, could you also apply that strategy towards not allowing your child to body slam in the hallway?

I would tell the school i didnt agree or approve of that consequence. I would talk to the principal and teacher about consequences we all agree on. No school is permitted to remove children from instruction or activities without a lot of documentation.

When the parents of the child your child body slams choose to press assault charges, you understand you won’t be consulted for your agreement, right?

Umm, actually the way the law works is that you ARE consulted. Charges means both sides plead their case. The verdict is an agreement.

[Anonymous]

Its interesting how many people use the word "punishment" instead of "consequence". Children learn through consequences. They learn best when those consequences are natural. Very little learning happens from punishment, especially when those punishments involve shame. Punishments are effective at enforcing control and making people feel powerful in a powerless situation though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant tell if this is elementary or middle school? I would want more information about when the prior warnings were given and what they were for. If this is middle school and both boys were given warnings for the same behavior more than once then yes I think its fair.

I will get jumped on for this but if its elementary school I dont believe its at all fair. Young bodies need movement and field day is more of a right than a privilege. On days like today when recess was canceled I would expect extra horseplay. And its usually not an even fair sided story in middle school, meaning, one child reacts to someone pushing their buttons and its more likely to be out of the childs control. I would not allow for my child in elementary school to miss field day as a punishment.

You wouldn't allow it? How would you do that? Whatever the answer, could you also apply that strategy towards not allowing your child to body slam in the hallway?

I would tell the school i didnt agree or approve of that consequence. I would talk to the principal and teacher about consequences we all agree on. No school is permitted to remove children from instruction or activities without a lot of documentation.

When the parents of the child your child body slams choose to press assault charges, you understand you won’t be consulted for your agreement, right?

Umm, actually the way the law works is that you ARE consulted. Charges means both sides plead their case. The verdict is an agreement.

That’s not the way the law works and you don’t understand English. You aren’t there at your pleasure, that’s what the handcuffs are about. You beg and plead for a verdict to your liking but any agreement on it doesn’t necessarily include the defendant. Verdicts are imposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant tell if this is elementary or middle school? I would want more information about when the prior warnings were given and what they were for. If this is middle school and both boys were given warnings for the same behavior more than once then yes I think its fair.

I will get jumped on for this but if its elementary school I dont believe its at all fair. Young bodies need movement and field day is more of a right than a privilege. On days like today when recess was canceled I would expect extra horseplay. And its usually not an even fair sided story in middle school, meaning, one child reacts to someone pushing their buttons and its more likely to be out of the childs control. I would not allow for my child in elementary school to miss field day as a punishment.

You wouldn't allow it? How would you do that? Whatever the answer, could you also apply that strategy towards not allowing your child to body slam in the hallway?

I would tell the school i didnt agree or approve of that consequence. I would talk to the principal and teacher about consequences we all agree on. No school is permitted to remove children from instruction or activities without a lot of documentation.

When the parents of the child your child body slams choose to press assault charges, you understand you won’t be consulted for your agreement, right?

This isnt a case of assault. It was consenting children playing in an inappropriate way. Both children are "at fault" if you are choosing to view it that way, no one has any higher ground to blame the other.

One child harming another is a very different scenario than OP describes. Dont be so dramatic. These are kids who engage in this sort of behavior regularly and it's fine, it just wasn't fine at school in that moment in that environment. The consequence should teach that lesson. Neither of these kids are criminals.

Both of these kids have the potential to be if no one teaches them to control themselves in a way that sticks— with meaningful consequences. Body slamming and hitting isn’t “fine” in almost any case and is never fine at school. The sooner they learn that the safer they — and everyone around them— are.

And if one of the kids is hurt his parents won’t care if he “consented” before pressing charges.