If you wanted someone to think well of you...

[Anonymous]

Jeans are for when you are on the buy side. My go to In that case is jeans, turtleneck, blazer or jacket.

OP sounds sell side. Not denim.

[Anonymous]

Black linen pants and something new I guess for top.
Why sweater for the dress? It sounds ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black linen pants and something new I guess for top.
Why sweater for the dress? It sounds ok

It is technically a sundress -- sleeveless with an open back. But not low cut in front and looks professional under a cardigan. It is what I would wear to a parent-teacher conference but this situation feels somewhat higher stakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sweat when nervous! Not swear.

Same. I bought these sticky armpit pads from Amazon years ago that work really well under light blazers and thicker tops. They adhere to the top and then you throw them out after you wear the item. Works like a charm and totally invisible as long as the fabric is thick enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Maybe I can get us back on track. I do think jeans would be fine for this meeting and I would not be judged for wearing them, especially a nice pair in a dark denim, but since I want to make an especially good impression and I am carrying a bit more weight in my midsection than normal, it might not be the best option right now. The only jeans I own right now that don't feel constructing are a pair of loose barrel jeans and a gray pair with a raw hem, neither if which feel professional enough.

This leaves we with: black linen pants, a black straight midi skirt, a navy midi dress I'd need to wear a sweater over but that looks nice, or buying something new.

If I wore one of the pants, I might need to buy a new top because I feel like my tees are looking the worse for the wear and my dressier tops feel dated at like they don't fit properly. None of my blazers feels good right now.

An issue for me is that I swear when I'm nervous so I need to wear something that won't show sweat easily. Gross, I know,but I anticipate feeling a bit stressed in this meeting and don't want to also have to think about visibly sweating.

I am taking the recommendation to look at target for pants, but if people have other recommendations based on the above, they are welcome! I appreciate the investment in my situation even if the discussion has gotten a bit mired in the jeans discussion.

Ok so I don't think you are required to shop for this, unless you want to. The black linen pants sound wonderful for summer and fall, and if you would wear this outfit again, I would go ahead and shop for a top you love and make this an outfit you can turn to in the future. Black linen pants give me capsule wardrobe vibes.

If you wouldn't otherwise wear a new top with these pants, I would go with the navy sundress, a cardigan, closed-toe flats, and very neat hair, makeup, and simple jewelry (maybe just studs or small hoops/huggies and a ring).

Thanks for steering us back on track OP! I think a few of us are invested!

[Anonymous]

Second the navy dress with a cardigan vote.

[Anonymous]

I am also a sweat-er and recommend the blazer or cardigan to hide this during the meeting. I haven't tried the pads recommended by PP so that might be an option, but I don't know if I'd want to try it for the first time at this meeting.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You get it.

I can see what your saying, but that has more to do with racism and ethically based biases than clothing. You can carry yourself that way in a pair of jeans. I rarely dress up; it is not required and is not typical for my work. I have never been poorly treated by a physician because I'm white (shouldn't be that way) and I'm well educated.

So, you're saying because you're white and educated you can wear whatever you want. But if you're not those things, then yeah, you better dress nicer to be taken seriously. Got it.

I am the poster you are responding to and I find it horrifying that people judge in this way. I don't do it and I wish other people didn't. I'm saying it happens not that I approve of it.

Aren't people on here all the time saying this happens? Are you saying it doesn't happen and all the stuff we've been hearing for the past decade is bullshit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all these posters who think showing up to a meeting where the other person has (1) the balance of power and (2) no knowledge of you, what you do, how much money you have, how smart you are.... that your clothes don't make a difference.

yes, of course don't wear jeans.

If you wear jeans, don't turn around and complain that women or minorities aren't taken as seriously with doctors. Don't turn around and complain that your kid's school isn't implimenting all your 504 demands.

Of course people judge you based on your clothes, even if they don't think they're doing it.

And some of us are saying those of you who do this are phony, snobby jerks. As long as people are clean and nice, who cares about this?

[Anonymous]

OP I posted about wearing pants (equivalent of 90s chinos/current colette).

Try some of the linen/faux linen pants at Target for something that looks casual but nicer than jeans or sweats. Pair with a plain white t-shirt and a nice necklace and earrings. Do your makeup and make sure your hair is neat. Go for simple yet refined.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Congratulations. But OP asked about someone else's first impression of HER, not the other way around. People have been trying to give reasonable answers, for the most part. Not everyone would suggest jeans.

You do understand that many men in the year 2026 meet other business people (for the first time!) and conduct business in jeans, blazer, and sneakers, right?

And many don't. I would always suggest on the less casual end if someone isn't sure.

Btw, why did you single out men? You do understand women are in the workplace too right?

Women in the workplace? You don’t say! I singled out men precisely because I cannot imagine a single man engaging in this conversation and thinking jeans made them less serious.

My DH is the CEO of a pretty large company and routinely wears jeans to work and client meetings (dependig on client of course). So I'm guess that he doesn't think it makes him look less serious. Know were he got that idea? From his last boss, Satya Nadella.

What do you wear to work?