If you wanted someone to think well of you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dress like I do for work- dress (tuckernuck/boden/maje), flats, blazer. I fit in well at work and am well respected.

I always seem to strike out with teachers though. I don't think I dress formal, but I can't wear leggings and tshirts to work like they can. I've had a few make rude comments at conferences actually.

My guess is it’s your or your children’s attitude, not your clothes.

My kids are really sweet, so it's definitely not them. I do have RBF and am shy, but am a really nice, responsive person. I dislike when people make judgments based on appearances, and it bothered me to see teachers do this, since I believe treating everyone kindly should be part of their role.

Sorry, not buying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meant ^*the last thing I’m evaluating is their wardrobe

*I do evaluate what comes out of their mouth

PP you quoted. I also work in this space. I meant what you meant. It wasn’t literally about slacks vs jeans - it’s if I see a parent in head to toe flashy designer who keeps stepping out for “super important” calls during the appointment while ignoring me and their kid or conversely a parent in very dirty tattered clothes and unkempt hair / hygiene it helps me paint the broader picture of the child’s environment to inform the treatment plan.

OK so I wear head to toe designer wear. (I like Chanel shoes) My kids can wear whatever they like out of their closets. They definitely have cute clothes. My 4 year old's favorite thing is this old camp shirt. She wears it at least once a week. It was worn nonstop by both her older siblings too. Clearly it has broad appeal and is super soft from being washed 100x, but at this point it is stained. It makes her happy and it's clean, so she can wear it as much as she wants. 4 year old also doesn't let me put her hair up. She starts off the morning with it brushed and clean, but it looks ratty by the time preschool is over. She's well loved and I prioritize her feelings over looks.

I have wondered if people judge me for letting my kids wear what they want...

I do think there's a real dissonance when I see a mother dressed to the nines and perfectly coiffed...and her kid looks like they fell off a turnip truck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You get it.

I can see what your saying, but that has more to do with racism and ethically based biases than clothing. You can carry yourself that way in a pair of jeans. I rarely dress up; it is not required and is not typical for my work. I have never been poorly treated by a physician because I'm white (shouldn't be that way) and I'm well educated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You get it.

I can see what your saying, but that has more to do with racism and ethically based biases than clothing. You can carry yourself that way in a pair of jeans. I rarely dress up; it is not required and is not typical for my work. I have never been poorly treated by a physician because I'm white (shouldn't be that way) and I'm well educated.

You're saying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

Where is the study that someone wearing dress pants, shoes, and blazer is treated better than nice jeans, shoes, and a blazer? There isnt any. The differences you are discussing are extreme.

I said you can wear nice jeans and a blazer with leather shoes.

But most people wear their overpriced jeans with a frayed hem along with overpriced sneakers they deem cool and fashionable (thus fancy).

^^^
This screams casual.

Feel free to disagree.

PS - I never said to strive for labels. Anyone with class avoids obvious labels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Nobody thinks a blazer with nice jeans puts you at a disadvantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

+1. I think many posters have this old fashioned attitude because they secretly look down on others for their dress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Nobody thinks a blazer with nice jeans puts you at a disadvantage.

There are still a couple posters saying jeans are too casual for the setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Both of these PPs are the definition of White Privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

Where is the study that someone wearing dress pants, shoes, and blazer is treated better than nice jeans, shoes, and a blazer? There isnt any. The differences you are discussing are extreme.

I said you can wear nice jeans and a blazer with leather shoes.

But most people wear their overpriced jeans with a frayed hem along with overpriced sneakers they deem cool and fashionable (thus fancy).

^^^
This screams casual.

Feel free to disagree.

PS - I never said to strive for labels. Anyone with class avoids obvious labels.

What a strawman. No one-except you-is talking about price of the clothes. Everyone has been discussing neatness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You're coming at this situation from the mindset that there's a power differential (not in your favor) between you and whoever you are dealing with. I don't assume that. I'm the equal of any doctor, teacher, etc. that I meet. Not better, just equal. So I'm not worried about making a good impression with my clothes. I'm well-educated and well-spoken, and am always treated with respect. I don't need to wear a tasteful pantsuit and low-heeled pumps and carry a "handbag."

I agree with this post. Some of you are old fashioned and not in a good way. Such phony BS. If someone looks down on me for wearing a nice pair of jeans with a blazer, and that actually matters to them over how I conduct myself and what I say? Get over yourself. My opinion of you would go waaaaay down. Poser.

Nobody thinks a blazer with nice jeans puts you at a disadvantage.

There are still a couple posters saying jeans are too casual for the setting.

NP and I think jeans are too casual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeans are too casual and read low class/unprofessional.

I always wear black slacks and nice shoes to such appointments. Depending on weather, I usually wear a blouse and blazer. I essentially dress like I would for work. I carry a nice handbag as well.

Jeans are not low class, and who uses terms like slacks and handbag? My mother is literally 80 and she doesn’t talk like this. She also wears jeans (gasp).

Go read one of the countless dcum threads on what it means to be old money, upper class, polished, etc.

ICYMI: some of us were raised a certain way and use certain words. How one expresses themselves speaks volumes on many levels.

Poking fun by insinuating that I am old or uncool says more about you, pp.

Anyway, setting all this aside: if the op wants to be taken seriously, then she should dress the part. I’ve literally changed my clothes and shoes before heading to the ER. Why? Because everyone treats you differently based on your appearance. When I’m the patient advocate, I dress my best.

Nice jeans with leather flats and a blazer are fine. Tattered hem jeans and sneakers foster a power differential.

I've read many, many, many of those threads, which are risible and cringe-inducing. I do agree with you that expressing oneself well is important, which is why I know that you should use "oneself" rather than "themselves" in the bolded sentence above. I'm so embarrassed for you that you used incorrect grammar while chiding me on the importance of communicating correcty.

Look, if you like cosplaying "old money" online, go ahead, but your language belies your claims and no one is impressed by your slacks and handbag. You can stick them up your gold-plated fanny.

Let them cosplay. They gave themselves up when they associated being treated better and being taken seriously with how they dress. That told me everything I needed to know about their upbringing and social class vs what they’re saying here.

I mean, there are countless studies that back up how bias impacts healthcare (and myriad other things dependent on human interaction and service).

I’ve spent a lot of time observing others treated poorly in hospital waiting rooms, ERs, patient rooms, etc.

Because I’m bilingual (but nobody would assume that by looking at me or hearing my name), I’ve been in many situations where I’m the witness to terrible treatment. Fortunately, my day job is to advocate so I can jump in and help. And guess what? I’m always taken seriously and treated well. I think the way I dress and carry myself helps. Practically speaking, the world judges you, and power differentials exist everywhere.

Wasn’t everyone taught to put your best foot forward?

You get it.

I can see what your saying, but that has more to do with racism and ethically based biases than clothing. You can carry yourself that way in a pair of jeans. I rarely dress up; it is not required and is not typical for my work. I have never been poorly treated by a physician because I'm white (shouldn't be that way) and I'm well educated.

So, you're saying because you're white and educated you can wear whatever you want. But if you're not those things, then yeah, you better dress nicer to be taken seriously. Got it.