Elementary drop off and working parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a Grandparent and babysit frequently. There is no way I'd find it reasonable to be relied on daily for drop off just because my Grandchildren don't *prefer* before care

This is partly why it is so hard for parents today

Grandmothers were our evolutionary leveling up: https://humans.sciencearray.com/grandmothers-evolution-greatest-innovation

But now they have their own lives and cant be bothered to help their offspring thrive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9:48 & 9:52 again and btw, as soon as they can walk to school, they walk without you. For those that can take a bus, they take the bus. And no, you do not have to wait at the bus stop w/ them. Working parents today are making parenting way too hard

The school doesnt allow it till 5th grade for walkers The bus driver wont release under 4th grade at a stop without a parent present. Experienced this first hand.

[Anonymous]

private or public school. What county?

[Anonymous]

No, Grandmothers not being there IS not the problem. Not allowing a 3rd grader to walk < a mile to school is the problem. And similar - tighter restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I put my kids over my career. None of our kids ever did before care, or after care. I worked part time so they never had to do that, because I had emotionally neglectful parents who were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't engage me much. I was just there, a piece of furniture, a pawn pushed around and dumped off by parents with narcissistic tendencies.

You should probably talk to a therapist about that if you haven't already. My kids are upset when I pick them up too early because aftercare is free play time with their friends.

[Anonymous]

We teamed up with two other families to manage the before/after school trips. It was...imperfect... but the kids got to school safe enough and the parents kept their jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put my kids over my career. None of our kids ever did before care, or after care. I worked part time so they never had to do that, because I had emotionally neglectful parents who were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't engage me much. I was just there, a piece of furniture, a pawn pushed around and dumped off by parents with narcissistic tendencies.

You should probably talk to a therapist about that if you haven't already. My kids are upset when I pick them up too early because aftercare is free play time with their friends.

This varies on aftercare director and student population. One kid had a short tempered director with mostly out of control boys in aftercare and it was Lord of Flies. Another child begged to get to aftercare and hang with friends even though we could pick up with some planning.

[Anonymous]

In our neighborhood,it seems like most families have at least 1 parent who is SAH or WFH and can do the bus. Then a small percentage do beforecare. For what it’s worth, I am WFH and I still hate the late elementary start because even working from home I don’t get to sit down and work til 9:15 or so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your kid not preferring before care is no reason to be making sacrifices to your career, is no reason to be adding stress to your day.

We can't all quit our jobs to accommodate our kids preferences but saying they should get no weight seems sad to me too. Plenty of parents who are able do things like staggered schedules or staggered WFH days to reduce time in before/aftercare. Some kids thrive more in certain contexts than others.

[Anonymous]

Make before care work this year and then see what you can do for next school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I put my kids over my career. None of our kids ever did before care, or after care. I worked part time so they never had to do that, because I had emotionally neglectful parents who were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't engage me much. I was just there, a piece of furniture, a pawn pushed around and dumped off by parents with narcissistic tendencies.

What if you were a single parent? I can’t just work PT. We’d be homeless.

[Anonymous]

I think late mornings are less disruptive than a 2:10/2:40 end time to schools. No one in a regular job can end work at 2:30 to get their kids. You'd have to work shift work or part time to make that schedule.

I think we could make schools better if they ran 8 hours a day. Kids scores aren't exactly great these days, so maybe everyone could use an extra hour of tutoring

[Anonymous]

Switch off days or weeks with a spouse or partner.

Hire a student or other parent/caregiver to walk kids for number of days necessary.

Find other parents near you who are in same situation and set up a schedule (if two parents that is once a week for three people and twice a week for one person, rotate this and you should only have to do twice a week one time a month).

Schedule your take to school days for days you can work at home or if you can an alternate schedule for the day you are off.

One spouse/partner has a more flexible schedule and can work later or on weekends or have phone meetings in the car rather then in person so day can start immediately after drop off.

Whether you are a one or two parent family, if you have no flexibility in your arrival time and no way to sort help (paid or not) then there aren't many choices other than before care.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely switch off with your partner. No reason why you should be late every day. Additionally, find a neighborhood parent who can take your child in for however long. Pay them or just provide breakfast. If neither of these things are an option, your child will have to deal with before care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our local elementary schools start at 9am.

We tried before care, but it was almost empty and kid found it depressing. Too young and too far to walk to school on own (no bus).

How are working parents handling this? Do they get to work around 930/945? Have a crazy short commute so 845 drop off and get to work by 9? Hiring nannies or local grandparents for mornings?

My career has definitely suffered by being the morning drop off; somedays I dont get until 10 which hurts.

Really? Your kid didn't like before care because it was empty? Send your child to before care with a good book / art supplies / a deck of cards. They'll be fine. I would not remove my child from before or after care unless there was (1) a safety issue or (2) bullying