Obgyn pushy about hurrying to conceive at 39 .. I thought this was not an uncommon conception age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went for my yearly visit and she was very frank about it needing to happen soon. She apologized for being pushy but said the chances of chromosomal abnormalities hits very hard at 40 and the curve goes up and up and up.

I was shocked or surprised given how many women I see online having children at 45+ in recent years. These being healthy children as well.

My doctor had this talk with me when I was 30.

Mine never did.

Her boundaries were excellent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went for my yearly visit and she was very frank about it needing to happen soon. She apologized for being pushy but said the chances of chromosomal abnormalities hits very hard at 40 and the curve goes up and up and up.

I was shocked or surprised given how many women I see online having children at 45+ in recent years. These being healthy children as well.

The MD was giving sound advice.

A percentage of older women will be able to have children in 40s. Higher percentage will NOT be able to do so. Do not count on luck.

Had first pregnancy at age 39. Turned 40 part way through and automatically became high risk simply because age was 40 and first pregnancy. Delivery was early and also was an emergency C-section.

Having a first child delivered before age 40 seems to make it easier to have a second child in the early 40s, but I have not seen verifiable information on that.

Don't delay.

I’m also curious on this point. Is it causation or correlation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I clearly was very uninformed. I hadn’t followed data closely nor had anyone in my core circle or extended circle seemingly had difficulties or abnormalities. Most of my group is Masters educated, middle class African American, Puerto Rican, and Filipino. Raised and schooled pre-college in PG County. Which may be a much smaller data point than Caucasian women.

I am in no way offended at the remarks here nor my doctors - I was simply shocked at her blunt push to start immediately.

We're getting to some loaded questions here, OP. Do you think the bolded is a factor in being knowledgeable about a wide range of medically-important topics?

I am Black also and I am not surprised and before OP posted her race, I guessed that she might also be Black. In my experience, I have found that my achiever Black friends were much more focused on academic and career success than marriage and fertility compared to my achiever white friends. Not that my Black friends weren't interested in marriage - they are, and a common frustration is the lack of quality men who are similarly interested in marriage and settling down, but in general, my white peers were laser focused on finding the husband sooner, at the same time they were career climbing, while my Black friends were more focused on their individual success and then as they got older began focusing more on trying to find a husband. What this means is that the white women are getting married earlier and still doing the career climbing and have many more years of being married and building wealth with a partner before they start TTC and they can then more easily afford fertility treatments, while I see my Black friends get married later and get smacked in the face with the expense of fertility treatments. So OP is probably not being disingenuous in saying she's not hearing about this among her peer group, especially if the majority of her peer group is not yet married and actively TTC.

There is so much truth in this post! Thank you thank you thank you.

The issues here even deserve their own thread on the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went for my yearly visit and she was very frank about it needing to happen soon. She apologized for being pushy but said the chances of chromosomal abnormalities hits very hard at 40 and the curve goes up and up and up.

I was shocked or surprised given how many women I see online having children at 45+ in recent years. These being healthy children as well.

May I suggest that you don’t take medical advice from social media.

Fertility drops rapidly after 35.

Your dictionary is right.

[Anonymous]

I was 33 when I got married. And my OBGYN also mentioned trying right away. I figured it was because she saw so many in their 30s facing difficulty and disappointment.

We waited. Got pregnant right away at 34 and miscarried. I was shocked. Got pregnant again at 35 and delivered at 36. Decided not to push our luck going for a second.