Would rather talking to the working parent than the SAH parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find I have an easier time connecting and making friends with working parents. I feel comfortable at a work happy hour but a PTA event terrifies me.

With SAHMs, I find they are often extremely focused on their children and their world is smaller. There are exceptions of course. Bur even the way they discuss their child, sports, kids stuff it’s clear it’s their main priority. I’m not that interested in other kids or kids soccer so it’s difficult for me to connect. I do wish I were interested in motherhood because it would likely be an easier life than one of a working mom who travels.

I’m a SAHM and my kids definitely are my main priority.

I know some moms whose priority is clearly not their children and I don’t quite understand those moms either.

Most moms I hang out with are very vested in their children whether they are working or not.

I used to work, but decided to stay home when I had my third child. DH was earning close to $1m back then. Now he earns much more. We didn’t need my income.

I can say I have never been so passionate about anything in my life than my children. Most of my friends work.

Fellow SAHM here. If you’re trying to relate to other people you have to stop mentioning your husband’s income in these conversations, especially if you then want to pivot to emphasizing how passionate you are about your kids and how much you prioritize them. You have choices and freedom most people could hardly dream of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find I have an easier time connecting and making friends with working parents. I feel comfortable at a work happy hour but a PTA event terrifies me.

With SAHMs, I find they are often extremely focused on their children and their world is smaller. There are exceptions of course. Bur even the way they discuss their child, sports, kids stuff it’s clear it’s their main priority. I’m not that interested in other kids or kids soccer so it’s difficult for me to connect. I do wish I were interested in motherhood because it would likely be an easier life than one of a working mom who travels.

I’m a SAHM and my kids definitely are my main priority.

I know some moms whose priority is clearly not their children and I don’t quite understand those moms either.

Most moms I hang out with are very vested in their children whether they are working or not.

I used to work, but decided to stay home when I had my third child. DH was earning close to $1m back then. Now he earns much more. We didn’t need my income.

I can say I have never been so passionate about anything in my life than my children. Most of my friends work.

Fellow SAHM here. If you’re trying to relate to other people you have to stop mentioning your husband’s income in these conversations, especially if you then want to pivot to emphasizing how passionate you are about your kids and how much you prioritize them. You have choices and freedom most people could hardly dream of.

THIS THIS THIS. This is the reason sometimes working parents don't want to talk to the SAHMS. I swear you can't even have a 30 second conversation with a SAHM dropping in something about prioritizing the kids, "you can never get back the time" blah blah blah. Sorry Karen, I have to work so we have a food and a roof over our head. Guess I "prioritize" my child as well??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find I have an easier time connecting and making friends with working parents. I feel comfortable at a work happy hour but a PTA event terrifies me.

With SAHMs, I find they are often extremely focused on their children and their world is smaller. There are exceptions of course. Bur even the way they discuss their child, sports, kids stuff it’s clear it’s their main priority. I’m not that interested in other kids or kids soccer so it’s difficult for me to connect. I do wish I were interested in motherhood because it would likely be an easier life than one of a working mom who travels.

I’m a SAHM and my kids definitely are my main priority.

I know some moms whose priority is clearly not their children and I don’t quite understand those moms either.

Most moms I hang out with are very vested in their children whether they are working or not.

I used to work, but decided to stay home when I had my third child. DH was earning close to $1m back then. Now he earns much more. We didn’t need my income.

I can say I have never been so passionate about anything in my life than my children. Most of my friends work.

It’s great you love your children so much and enjoy spending time with them. Unfortunately, a mother like this usually struggles as kids get older. I suspect it’s why you had a third kid.

My own mother was like this and she was an awful parent to a teenager. Smothering and utterly obsessed with her kids. She didn’t have her own interests and lacked perspective.

[Anonymous]

What’s usually missing from these discussions (on both sides) is the fact that many sahm have been working moms at other times in their life and will return to being working moms and that many WFW moms had periods in their life where they were sahm for a stint. They are the same people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find I have an easier time connecting and making friends with working parents. I feel comfortable at a work happy hour but a PTA event terrifies me.

With SAHMs, I find they are often extremely focused on their children and their world is smaller. There are exceptions of course. Bur even the way they discuss their child, sports, kids stuff it’s clear it’s their main priority. I’m not that interested in other kids or kids soccer so it’s difficult for me to connect. I do wish I were interested in motherhood because it would likely be an easier life than one of a working mom who travels.

I’m a SAHM and my kids definitely are my main priority.

I know some moms whose priority is clearly not their children and I don’t quite understand those moms either.

Most moms I hang out with are very vested in their children whether they are working or not.

I used to work, but decided to stay home when I had my third child. DH was earning close to $1m back then. Now he earns much more. We didn’t need my income.

I can say I have never been so passionate about anything in my life than my children. Most of my friends work.

Fellow SAHM here. If you’re trying to relate to other people you have to stop mentioning your husband’s income in these conversations, especially if you then want to pivot to emphasizing how passionate you are about your kids and how much you prioritize them. You have choices and freedom most people could hardly dream of.

To be fair, this is anon. I’m sure she’s not saying that to people irl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Makes sense to me
I was a working mom & none of the other SAH parents could imagine riding a train to work daily.

Those convoys were exhausting.

???

This is confusing. I currently SAH but I too used to commute.

Let me clarify

When I would talk to all the SAH parents they’d go on and on about how they could NEVER take a train into DC for work or they don’t know howwww I “ do it “


You know those low brow condescending remarks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find I have an easier time connecting and making friends with working parents. I feel comfortable at a work happy hour but a PTA event terrifies me.

With SAHMs, I find they are often extremely focused on their children and their world is smaller. There are exceptions of course. Bur even the way they discuss their child, sports, kids stuff it’s clear it’s their main priority. I’m not that interested in other kids or kids soccer so it’s difficult for me to connect. I do wish I were interested in motherhood because it would likely be an easier life than one of a working mom who travels.

I’m a SAHM and my kids definitely are my main priority.

I know some moms whose priority is clearly not their children and I don’t quite understand those moms either.

Most moms I hang out with are very vested in their children whether they are working or not.

I used to work, but decided to stay home when I had my third child. DH was earning close to $1m back then. Now he earns much more. We didn’t need my income.

I can say I have never been so passionate about anything in my life than my children. Most of my friends work.

Fellow SAHM here. If you’re trying to relate to other people you have to stop mentioning your husband’s income in these conversations, especially if you then want to pivot to emphasizing how passionate you are about your kids and how much you prioritize them. You have choices and freedom most people could hardly dream of.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Makes sense to me
I was a working mom & none of the other SAH parents could imagine riding a train to work daily.

Those convoys were exhausting.

???

This is confusing. I currently SAH but I too used to commute.

Let me clarify

When I would talk to all the SAH parents they’d go on and on about how they could NEVER take a train into DC for work or they don’t know howwww I “ do it “


You know those low brow condescending remarks.

Well I can’t argue with your experience but although I currently SAH I used to take the train into town for work and personally I could never drive into DC. I don’t like to drive. I’m not sure why that would be a working versus SAH mom thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find I have an easier time connecting and making friends with working parents. I feel comfortable at a work happy hour but a PTA event terrifies me.

With SAHMs, I find they are often extremely focused on their children and their world is smaller. There are exceptions of course. Bur even the way they discuss their child, sports, kids stuff it’s clear it’s their main priority. I’m not that interested in other kids or kids soccer so it’s difficult for me to connect. I do wish I were interested in motherhood because it would likely be an easier life than one of a working mom who travels.

I’m a SAHM and my kids definitely are my main priority.

I know some moms whose priority is clearly not their children and I don’t quite understand those moms either.

Most moms I hang out with are very vested in their children whether they are working or not.

I used to work, but decided to stay home when I had my third child. DH was earning close to $1m back then. Now he earns much more. We didn’t need my income.

I can say I have never been so passionate about anything in my life than my children. Most of my friends work.

Fellow SAHM here. If you’re trying to relate to other people you have to stop mentioning your husband’s income in these conversations, especially if you then want to pivot to emphasizing how passionate you are about your kids and how much you prioritize them. You have choices and freedom most people could hardly dream of.

To be fair, this is anon. I’m sure she’s not saying that to people irl.

In real life, there is no conversation where I would bring up my husband’s income. People may think he earns 300k or $3m. I don’t talk about money at all IRL. I also don’t mention when or why I stopped working.

I personally think I’m far more interesting now than when I was working. I used to be a working mom of two. I had a demanding job and had zero time for anything. Then I had a not so demanding job, but still had to commute so not much time besides dinner and bedtime with kids. I was always just trying to survive and those years just flew by.

I now have time to be a good friend, spend time with friends, lunch, dinner, trips, walks, exercise, etc. I am friends/friendly with my kids’ friends’ parents. Most of the parents and my friends work. I really enjoy spending time with my kids and their friends. My house is the hang out house. I prepare food for the friends, host play dates and parties, take kids on outings, etc. I think the other parents appreciate it. I often drive and feed their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Makes sense to me
I was a working mom & none of the other SAH parents could imagine riding a train to work daily.

Those convoys were exhausting.

???

This is confusing. I currently SAH but I too used to commute.

Let me clarify

When I would talk to all the SAH parents they’d go on and on about how they could NEVER take a train into DC for work or they don’t know howwww I “ do it “


You know those low brow condescending remarks.

Well I can’t argue with your experience but although I currently SAH I used to take the train into town for work and personally I could never drive into DC. I don’t like to drive. I’m not sure why that would be a working versus SAH mom thing.

It’s a SAH mom
Thing bc they alllllll made the same snarky comment.

Somehow trying to pit their role/job being home close as easy while mine has to sux bc I have a commute .. that’s all

[Anonymous]

I like to talk to people who are curious and interesting, interested and kind. That’s hard to find regardless of vocation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, please continue to feed the stereotype that SAH parents are lower in the pecking order than working parents and don’t offer anything of value. There aren’t enough threads already that bash them.

NP what a peculiar response to OP’s banality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Would rather talking to.”

I am sure many SAHMs prefer talking to people who use proper grammar and sentence structure.

Or, you know — and I am just spitballing here — this is a written message board and sometimes posts contain dropped words that intelligent people would give grace for and fill in rather than point out as and suggest it was a sign of ignorance.

But, I could be wrong.

[Anonymous]

I am SAHM of teens who does not need to work but I work PT just to have normal people to talk to. I really enjoy my coworkers and my work schedule.

[Anonymous]

^meant to write “former SAHM”