Would rather talking to the working parent than the SAH parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Would rather talking to.”

I am sure many SAHMs prefer talking to people who use proper grammar and sentence structure.

Or, you know — and I am just spitballing here — this is a written message board and sometimes posts contain dropped words that intelligent people would give grace for and fill in rather than point out as and suggest it was a sign of ignorance.

But, I could be wrong.

DP and normally I would agree with you, but OP's whole point is that she can't possibly interact with SAH parents because they are insufficiently intellectual for her apparently refined conversational requirements (even though OP is probably just some mid-level fed doing pretty dull work who uses too many acronyms in everyday speech). So in this circumstance, I approve of ridiculing her for making a typo. If you are going to be a condescending jerk, you need to be willing to get as good as you give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find I have an easier time connecting and making friends with working parents. I feel comfortable at a work happy hour but a PTA event terrifies me.

With SAHMs, I find they are often extremely focused on their children and their world is smaller. There are exceptions of course. Bur even the way they discuss their child, sports, kids stuff it’s clear it’s their main priority. I’m not that interested in other kids or kids soccer so it’s difficult for me to connect. I do wish I were interested in motherhood because it would likely be an easier life than one of a working mom who travels.

I’m a SAHM and my kids definitely are my main priority.

I know some moms whose priority is clearly not their children and I don’t quite understand those moms either.

Most moms I hang out with are very vested in their children whether they are working or not.

I used to work, but decided to stay home when I had my third child. DH was earning close to $1m back then. Now he earns much more. We didn’t need my income.

I can say I have never been so passionate about anything in my life than my children. Most of my friends work.

Fellow SAHM here. If you’re trying to relate to other people you have to stop mentioning your husband’s income in these conversations, especially if you then want to pivot to emphasizing how passionate you are about your kids and how much you prioritize them. You have choices and freedom most people could hardly dream of.

To be fair, this is anon. I’m sure she’s not saying that to people irl.

In real life, there is no conversation where I would bring up my husband’s income. People may think he earns 300k or $3m. I don’t talk about money at all IRL. I also don’t mention when or why I stopped working.

I personally think I’m far more interesting now than when I was working. I used to be a working mom of two. I had a demanding job and had zero time for anything. Then I had a not so demanding job, but still had to commute so not much time besides dinner and bedtime with kids. I was always just trying to survive and those years just flew by.

I now have time to be a good friend, spend time with friends, lunch, dinner, trips, walks, exercise, etc. I am friends/friendly with my kids’ friends’ parents. Most of the parents and my friends work. I really enjoy spending time with my kids and their friends. My house is the hang out house. I prepare food for the friends, host play dates and parties, take kids on outings, etc. I think the other parents appreciate it. I often drive and feed their kids.

wow, how nice for you! I would love to prioritize myself that way but I HAVE TO WORK. Again this is why sometimes the working mom don't want to talk to SAHMs. It must be insufferable to listen to you brag about your life in person.

Right. However, as a working mom. I give it right back. I travel - see the whole world -- and not around school breaks, make my own money, have a nanny, kids respect me and my time as I work -- not their or my husbands doormat. I'm at all the field trips bc I can take leave to read books and attend field trips -- no one guilts me into anything.

Our home is still the "hang out" spot bc our kids parents find us interesting.

Plus I'm a ten years younger than you -- and can handle the commute... BUT OK!

And heeere’s the smug WOHM.

What you two have in common: reinforcing the stereotypes.

Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Would rather talking to.”

I am sure many SAHMs prefer talking to people who use proper grammar and sentence structure.

Or, you know — and I am just spitballing here — this is a written message board and sometimes posts contain dropped words that intelligent people would give grace for and fill in rather than point out as and suggest it was a sign of ignorance.

But, I could be wrong.

Definitely, but I think OP got this response because her post seemed to be instigating another mommy war.

“Seems,” madam? Nay, it is. I know not “seems.”

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM of fifteen years and I don't volunteer at school. I'm focused on my owm family. Other moms in general are a nightmare. Women can never get along with each other, it always ends up in backstabbing. It doesn't matter if the woman works, or not. Most women are evil and immature. I avoid them all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM of fifteen years and I don't volunteer at school. I'm focused on my owm family. Other moms in general are a nightmare. Women can never get along with each other, it always ends up in backstabbing. It doesn't matter if the woman works, or not. Most women are evil and immature. I avoid them all.

I’m the pp SAHM who likes to spend time with my kids and their friends. I do agree many middle aged women seem unhappy. My oldest is in high school and there are so many unhappy women. They look kind of frumpy and miserable. Elementary school moms are better.

People hang out with people who are similar to themselves. I have a pleasant demeanor as do my children. My kids are all very well liked and have a great group of friends. DH is successful and well respected. Our kids are thriving. We have full social lives with mostly working parents. We are fun and kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHM of fifteen years and I don't volunteer at school. I'm focused on my owm family. Other moms in general are a nightmare. Women can never get along with each other, it always ends up in backstabbing. It doesn't matter if the woman works, or not. Most women are evil and immature. I avoid them all.

I’m the pp SAHM who likes to spend time with my kids and their friends. I do agree many middle aged women seem unhappy. My oldest is in high school and there are so many unhappy women. They look kind of frumpy and miserable. Elementary school moms are better.

People hang out with people who are similar to themselves. I have a pleasant demeanor as do my children. My kids are all very well liked and have a great group of friends. DH is successful and well respected. Our kids are thriving. We have full social lives with mostly working parents. We are fun and kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, please continue to feed the stereotype that SAH parents are lower in the pecking order than working parents and don’t offer anything of value. There aren’t enough threads already that bash them.

Working parents don’t care about raising their own children or caring for their family. To me that’s not something to be proud of and sits ground level on the totem pole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, please continue to feed the stereotype that SAH parents are lower in the pecking order than working parents and don’t offer anything of value. There aren’t enough threads already that bash them.

Working parents don’t care about raising their own children or caring for their family. To me that’s not something to be proud of and sits ground level on the totem pole.

[Anonymous]

New poster - I'm a full time working mom (attorney) and I've never had issues with making friends with stay at home moms. I don't like talking about my job anyways, so why does it matter? I've met SAHPs who are just as intellectual and interesting as any working parent. Other than saying things like "work was busy this week!" I just don't bring up my job when we have conversations because I'm sure they don't have any interest in my job.

[Anonymous]

I work part time. I volunteer for my three kids events a lot. I’ve met snarky woh moms who think their job somehow makes them more important/special and I’ve met sah moms who are clearly miserable and could use some woh time to get a break from their home life or kids but feel too much mom/wife guilt to do it. I’ve also met special needs/caregiver moms who are desperate for any change/help and never get it. Mostly we all deal with the same issues, and have lots in common and chatting about them helps. If op wants to exclude some moms due to some superficial factor like how many spreadsheets she made today it will ultimately be her loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster - I'm a full time working mom (attorney) and I've never had issues with making friends with stay at home moms. I don't like talking about my job anyways, so why does it matter? I've met SAHPs who are just as intellectual and interesting as any working parent. Other than saying things like "work was busy this week!" I just don't bring up my job when we have conversations because I'm sure they don't have any interest in my job.

I’m pp SAHM and I have mostly friends like you. My friends mostly work. Some are high powered at the top of their industries going down all the way to working at the school for minimum wage and everything in between. We will laugh and cry together, celebrate the wins and be there for one another when times are tough. Almost all the friends I have, both male and female, seem to look forward to retirement, including my husband. He will probably work another 5 years and semi retire. Several of our frirnds are middle aged and semi retired.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a PTA type person but I've immense respect for those women. At least at schools my children attended, PTA moms played a huge role and without their unpaid contributions, kids and teachers wouldn't have the experiences they had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster - I'm a full time working mom (attorney) and I've never had issues with making friends with stay at home moms. I don't like talking about my job anyways, so why does it matter? I've met SAHPs who are just as intellectual and interesting as any working parent. Other than saying things like "work was busy this week!" I just don't bring up my job when we have conversations because I'm sure they don't have any interest in my job.

I’m pp SAHM and I have mostly friends like you. My friends mostly work. Some are high powered at the top of their industries going down all the way to working at the school for minimum wage and everything in between. We will laugh and cry together, celebrate the wins and be there for one another when times are tough. Almost all the friends I have, both male and female, seem to look forward to retirement, including my husband. He will probably work another 5 years and semi retire. Several of our frirnds are middle aged and semi retired.

Similar experience here but to be fair most people are insecure and their work is their identity not in a productive way but as a tag which gives them right to exist. They wouldn't know what to do with themselves or how to introduce themselves without their job title.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I volunteer at my DC's schools or do any sort of interacting with other parents like at PTO meetings, I gravitate toward other working parents, regardless of gender. It just seems like we have more in common, we can relate to each other more. I am sure the SAH parents prefer each other's company to that of working parents so I guess it all works out in the end anyway.

Are people wearing name tags that include WOHP/SAHP? I have no idea who works and who doesn't at my kids' school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do find I have an easier time connecting and making friends with working parents. I feel comfortable at a work happy hour but a PTA event terrifies me.

With SAHMs, I find they are often extremely focused on their children and their world is smaller. There are exceptions of course. Bur even the way they discuss their child, sports, kids stuff it’s clear it’s their main priority. I’m not that interested in other kids or kids soccer so it’s difficult for me to connect. I do wish I were interested in motherhood because it would likely be an easier life than one of a working mom who travels.

I have been a SAHM for 10 years. Of course my kids are my priority. I didn’t quit my high paying biglaw job to sit home and watch Netflix and eat bonbons. But I can talk about a lot of things. I have lots of hobbies and time to read and follow current events and cook and travel. It is pretty fun to be a SAHM. Much more fun than being a lawyer.