Regretting private high school investment because of colleges want more public school graduates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t waste my money. My kid got a MUCH better education in private school. I know because I teach at the public HS he is zoned for. The difference in academic and behavioral expectations is night and day.

I will never understand people like you. Why aren't you teaching at private schools???

DP

I will never understand questions like this. I think public schools are in dire need of teachers who make good choices. Congrats to her for making the bigger impact with her time. Private school teachers do have an easier job by getting smart hand selected kids and calm classrooms. The only thing remotely surprising is that PP didn't try to teach at son's school for a discount on tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been told by our college counselor that this year colleges are turning away from selecting most private high school kids because of their privileged education. That you now have a better chance coming from a public high school with good grades and top scores and activities. There’s no advantage anymore paying more money for private. None at all.

So for those of you looking to go private, don’t waste your money. Your private school kid, despite top gpa and test scores, will probably will be bumped in favor of someone from a good public school.

Regrets, regrets, regrets…

I mean, do you have any sense that your college counselor actually understands the dynamics at play. Every single year, folks come on this very board to talk about "this year, HYPSM is prioritizing public school kids" and every year, when the dust settles, it turns out those schools have a pretty consistent number of private school admits year-over-year.

I know you want to think that your child is being oppressed due to their wealth, but it just isn't true.

DP

Well, it is true that the kid is being oppressed due to wealth, but not in the way you think. HYPSM wants to take from the largest number of schools. They also preferentially take legacies and large donor kid. So, if OP's kid is at private school with legacy children of large donors, then their kid is disadvantaged next to those kids, even if their stats are similar. The chances of the same proportion of legacy donor children at large publics is much much lower, so the same kid with the same stats stand a better chance at public. It's simple mathematical reasoning.

....OP, if you are still confused, ask your kid about the logic. There is a quantitative reasoning section on the ISEE. They obviously did well enough to get into a good private HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say going to an elite high school matters more than the specific college. Their college options will be fine.

Yes! Exactly. Because you’re ultra entitled. Which is exactly why colleges aren’t taking your kids anymore. Because their private pedigree is meaningless and non indicative to their drive, or future success, or their ability to be a good community member.

We are not private and would only go private for 1. Special needs issues, safety issues, I.e. necessity 2. Get my kid into a good college

Anyone who pays $160k+ in tuition over years of private education with perfectly fine public alternatives and says they don’t care about the college their kid gets into is lying to themselves and puffing feathers on an anonymous board.

Of course you care. Because even if you are just so self centered and private school is “a way of life”, you’re at least concerned of being judged yourself based on your kids outplacement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a genuine question: why do people act like public school is for disadvantaged kids and minorities when the vast majority goes to public schools? Even Ivy League schools have a majority of public school students getting admission. So why are colleges doing this pandering.

It's a weird DC/major city thing. Everywhere else, kids are sent to private mainly when they are expelled from public.

That’s not at all true for most of California, Texas, Florida, NYC, etc.

By Major city they mean any city with wealth. My friends in Tampa and Atlanta all go to private school.

Same in Houston, Dallas, Austin, and all the major cities in CA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say going to an elite high school matters more than the specific college. Their college options will be fine.

Yes! Exactly. Because you’re ultra entitled. Which is exactly why colleges aren’t taking your kids anymore. Because their private pedigree is meaningless and non indicative to their drive, or future success, or their ability to be a good community member.

We are not private and would only go private for 1. Special needs issues, safety issues, I.e. necessity 2. Get my kid into a good college

Anyone who pays $160k+ in tuition over years of private education with perfectly fine public alternatives and says they don’t care about the college their kid gets into is lying to themselves and puffing feathers on an anonymous board.

Of course you care. Because even if you are just so self centered and private school is “a way of life”, you’re at least concerned of being judged yourself based on your kids outplacement.

I think the projection of your opinions and thoughts onto others speaks a great deal about your insecurity. Is why you are "puffing your feathers" here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say going to an elite high school matters more than the specific college. Their college options will be fine.

Yes! Exactly. Because you’re ultra entitled. Which is exactly why colleges aren’t taking your kids anymore. Because their private pedigree is meaningless and non indicative to their drive, or future success, or their ability to be a good community member.

We are not private and would only go private for 1. Special needs issues, safety issues, I.e. necessity 2. Get my kid into a good college

Anyone who pays $160k+ in tuition over years of private education with perfectly fine public alternatives and says they don’t care about the college their kid gets into is lying to themselves and puffing feathers on an anonymous board.

Of course you care. Because even if you are just so self centered and private school is “a way of life”, you’re at least concerned of being judged yourself based on your kids outplacement.

You are delusional if you think elite colleges aren’t taking kids from elite high schools in greater numbers proportionate to their populations.

The PP who thinks the top students at West Potomac are equivalent to the top students at STA or Sidwell is highly delusional.

Not because the kids aren’t equally intelligent but because they are not given the same challenges. The only public school in the area that provides a similar level of challenge is Thomas Jefferson.

Sadly, even TJ’s standards are deteriorating. Kind of like how Fairfax public schools used to be the gold standard for public education in the DMV 20 years ago and now they are at about the same level as Arlington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say going to an elite high school matters more than the specific college. Their college options will be fine.

Yes! Exactly. Because you’re ultra entitled. Which is exactly why colleges aren’t taking your kids anymore. Because their private pedigree is meaningless and non indicative to their drive, or future success, or their ability to be a good community member.

We are not private and would only go private for 1. Special needs issues, safety issues, I.e. necessity 2. Get my kid into a good college

Anyone who pays $160k+ in tuition over years of private education with perfectly fine public alternatives and says they don’t care about the college their kid gets into is lying to themselves and puffing feathers on an anonymous board.

Of course you care. Because even if you are just so self centered and private school is “a way of life”, you’re at least concerned of being judged yourself based on your kids outplacement.

You are delusional if you think elite colleges aren’t taking kids from elite high schools in greater numbers proportionate to their populations.

The PP who thinks the top students at West Potomac are equivalent to the top students at STA or Sidwell is highly delusional.

Not because the kids aren’t equally intelligent but because they are not given the same challenges. The only public school in the area that provides a similar level of challenge is Thomas Jefferson.

Sadly, even TJ’s standards are deteriorating. Kind of like how Fairfax public schools used to be the gold standard for public education in the DMV 20 years ago and now they are at about the same level as Arlington.

Your observations are based on what?

I think you are delusional if you think the top students at solid public schools are not challenged.

I actually think it is the top students for whom private school offers little advantage. It's the bright but not stellar students who benefit most from the personal attention (aka coddling) of private school.

[Anonymous]

Man, you guys are in a serious bubble. Most kids nationally — but especially in this area — are in public schools. It’s so expensive here; you think most people have the cash for a private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“When you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”

I’ve sent my kids to both public and private. Educate your children at the best school fit for them that does not place undue financial burden on the family.

Everything has a price. The cost of a guaranteed admission to the T20 schools is not $500k for K-12. It’s $20m for a building wing. Or athletic genetics and countless hours. Not sure why you thought your $500k entitled you to more. Cake and eat it too? Get in line.

Harsh? Sure. But accurate. This should not be news to you. I hope your child got an excellent education. They will likely be well prepared for the next step. And if they are worth their salt, they will take that T1-100 opportunity and light it up. The only thing stopping them from being as successful as the kid at MIT? Their parent’s bad attitude. Don’t let your kid the drivel coming out of your mouth. It doesn’t help them.

This exactly. We send our DC to private schools because we believe it is the right fit and choice for them and our family, not because we think it is a hook to a top college. The folks who think that paying for private will buy them access to a T20 school are fools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been told by our college counselor that this year colleges are turning away from selecting most private high school kids because of their privileged education. That you now have a better chance coming from a public high school with good grades and top scores and activities. There’s no advantage anymore paying more money for private. None at all.

So for those of you looking to go private, don’t waste your money. Your private school kid, despite top gpa and test scores, will probably will be bumped in favor of someone from a good public school.

Regrets, regrets, regrets…

The college admissions results at my children’s Big 3 school says otherwise.
No regrets here. 😊

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say going to an elite high school matters more than the specific college. Their college options will be fine.

Yes! Exactly. Because you’re ultra entitled. Which is exactly why colleges aren’t taking your kids anymore. Because their private pedigree is meaningless and non indicative to their drive, or future success, or their ability to be a good community member.

We are not private and would only go private for 1. Special needs issues, safety issues, I.e. necessity 2. Get my kid into a good college

Anyone who pays $160k+ in tuition over years of private education with perfectly fine public alternatives and says they don’t care about the college their kid gets into is lying to themselves and puffing feathers on an anonymous board.

Of course you care. Because even if you are just so self centered and private school is “a way of life”, you’re at least concerned of being judged yourself based on your kids outplacement.

You are delusional if you think elite colleges aren’t taking kids from elite high schools in greater numbers proportionate to their populations.

The PP who thinks the top students at West Potomac are equivalent to the top students at STA or Sidwell is highly delusional.

Not because the kids aren’t equally intelligent but because they are not given the same challenges. The only public school in the area that provides a similar level of challenge is Thomas Jefferson.

Sadly, even TJ’s standards are deteriorating. Kind of like how Fairfax public schools used to be the gold standard for public education in the DMV 20 years ago and now they are at about the same level as Arlington.

Your observations are based on what?

I think you are delusional if you think the top students at solid public schools are not challenged.

I actually think it is the top students for whom private school offers little advantage. It's the bright but not stellar students who benefit most from the personal attention (aka coddling) of private school.

My kid was at TJ and doing very well academically. The school didn't offer the environment that would help develop athletically and socially - critical factors for overall success. So if you are looking through a narrow academic lens to justify what you see, sure you can validate your argument. It should be noted that you are missing the nuance of success and the big overarching picture of why private school parents would prefer the whole person development rather than a simple narrow academic one. I can tell it to you but no one can understand it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t waste my money. My kid got a MUCH better education in private school. I know because I teach at the public HS he is zoned for. The difference in academic and behavioral expectations is night and day.

I will never understand people like you. Why aren't you teaching at private schools???

I’d love to but I can’t afford it. I easily make $30k more in public school. I take that money and send my kid to private school so it all works out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t waste my money. My kid got a MUCH better education in private school. I know because I teach at the public HS he is zoned for. The difference in academic and behavioral expectations is night and day.

I will never understand people like you. Why aren't you teaching at private schools???

Because it’s made up.

Nope. Quite a few teacher friends I know send their kids to private school. Almost always Catholic schools since they are more affordable. It’s sad that we have to pay for an education I got for free when I was in public schools in the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t waste my money. My kid got a MUCH better education in private school. I know because I teach at the public HS he is zoned for. The difference in academic and behavioral expectations is night and day.

I will never understand people like you. Why aren't you teaching at private schools???

DP

I will never understand questions like this. I think public schools are in dire need of teachers who make good choices. Congrats to her for making the bigger impact with her time. Private school teachers do have an easier job by getting smart hand selected kids and calm classrooms. The only thing remotely surprising is that PP didn't try to teach at son's school for a discount on tuition.

I teach kindergarten and he is in HS.

[Anonymous]

It seems like every week there is a post like this seeking to once again litigate college outcomes for privates vs publics. Then inevitably the private parents get called delusional or snobby for merely saying they send their kids for the superior environment. I suspect these are all started by public school parents looking for validation and to crap on others choices. It’s irritating. I don’t care where you send your kids! If they get into a great college from public, well, good for them. Why can’t people stop judging the choices of other people. It reeks of jealousy, even if that’s not accurate, it’s how these posts come across.