Looking to Compromise: Wearing PJs to School

[Anonymous]

You seem to have weird control issues. I can’t imagine this being the hill to die on. The sooner you drop it, the faster it’ll stop being appealing and will likely resolve itself. Trust me, the urge to wear sloppy PJs is usually a short stage you will miss by high school, as later clothing choices are much worse.

[Anonymous]

In my country, school pupils would never wear such attire to class. This should never be allowed here either.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. I agree with you. You are her mother and it is your job to teach her how people will perceive her based on her clothing choices and what clothing is appropriate in different settings. I teach middle school and it’s true the schools have abdicated their role so it’s up to parents now.

I’d give her a generous clothing budget and a few parameter like they did in that old show “What Not to Wear.” At least then she’d have an incentive to pick something else and learn the value skill of dressing for the occasion.

[Anonymous]

I think wearing baggy PJs is much better than barely there clothing. I wouldn't fight this battle until later OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think wearing baggy PJs is much better than barely there clothing. I wouldn't fight this battle until later OP.

+1 NP

[Anonymous]

Why in the world are you worrying about what she wants to wear to school NEXT YEAR?

Focus on what’s happening now and enjoy your kid!!! If they want to talk excitedly about next year, let them. Thinking about moving up to a new school IS exciting!! Encourage them to imagine and chat about it. You can deal with the details when they actually come up.

BTW, Flannel pajamas are a late fall/winter thing. So seriously, you have at least six months until this is real. Don’t spend this time arguing about a hypothetical. Just listen. Your kid is telling you they’re excited about their new school that’s a good thing!


Kid: I can’t wait for next year. Everyone wears pajamas at [next year’s school]!

You: I noticed! Is it every day or only on special occasions like pajama day?

Kid: [All about pajama-wearing at next year’s school.]

You: Wow / hmmmm / really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. I agree with you. You are her mother and it is your job to teach her how people will perceive her based on her clothing choices and what clothing is appropriate in different settings. I teach middle school and it’s true the schools have abdicated their role so it’s up to parents now.

Do you “perceive” your middle school students based on their clothing choices? How so? Does it change the way you interact with them or treat them?

(Serious question - I don’t know any middle school teachers and am curious.)

[Anonymous]

Private high school!

My sons have to wear khakis, belt and collared shirt.

No fashion hassles in the morning. Been great for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Should have started earlier on teaching them their own fashion decorum to prevent this desire. I will absolutely never allow my child to wear pajamas or crocs. What is wrong with people?! Have some self respect sheesh

[Anonymous]

Yes I highlight to my daughter how we are treated better when we put effort into looking nice (we are lower income but still). If we are about to miss the bus but I wave, he stops and waits for us, and I tell my daughter it's because we look nice. We get things for free places and I highlight to my daughter it's because we look nice. Looking nice as in self respecting. Respecting self = respecting others. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you etc.

[Anonymous]

Help her find real fashion/style heroes like on Pinterest. Classic styles from other countries (France, Japan)
Or other times (1960s, 1920s). Talk about real materials in fabrics (cotton vs polyester etc). Also you have to model looking
Put together.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely understand where you're coming from but this will likely be more arduous than you expect. I was equally unenthusiastic when my daughter floated this idea to me initially last year but fighting it became incredibly exhausting every day.

I ended up giving in and compromised by buying her a bunch of flannel pajama pants explicitly to be worn to school. It saved a lot of unnecessary headaches in the morning and I don't mind it as much if the ones she's going out in are clean and haven't been worn to bed.

If you do truly plan on sticking to your guns and can't bring yourself to be that mom, then I would direct you to look into sweatpants and joggers - Abercrombie is a name that immediately comes to mind. If you follow my compromise, I would recommend Hollister as an immediate option for higher quality pajama pants that can be worn to school without fears of excessive wear showing, tearing, etc.

[Anonymous]

I've LOVED the fashion over the last two years, including PJs. My oldest was in HS when the style was way-too-short-shorts and other similar garb. It was a constant battle. Now, her younger sisters want to wear loose-fitting pants, long shorts, jeans like I wore as a kid. The crop tops are a little annoying, but I'm generally so happy to have them wear this stuff.

I guess that doesn't answer your question, though, does it OP? My suggestion would be sweats (also popular still) and maybe if you're willing, get some PJ pants that are a single, muted color. She gets PJs, you get something that looks pretty much like pants.

[Anonymous]

Kids should not wear pajamas to school. It’s inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choose your battles. This one isn't harming anyone, and it's okay to allow her agency over her own clothing choices, so long as they're clean and not inappropriate.

This. What’s inappropriate is the girls whose butts are literally hanging out of their shorts.

Both things can be inappropriate and not allowed.

The amount of lazy parents on here is...actually not that surprising given the state of teenagers these days. Newsflash, if you don't teach your kids what is expected of them and what is appropriate, no one else is going to.