Texting in carpool WWYD?

[Anonymous]

DS has a school carpool. I drive mornings and another mom drives afternoons. A couple of times I got text messages from her at times when it seemed she should be on the way home w/the kids. I asked DS about it and he said yes she texts often.
What would you do? DH thinks there is no point in asking her to stop; it's not like she doesn't know this is unsafe. But I don't just want to leave the carpool without telling her why; we would look like jerks for leaving her high and dry. Even if we try to talk to her and she agrees to stop doing it, DH thinks it's unlikely she would really change her behavior b/c she obviously doesn't care. Plus then if DS later tells us that she was texting again, then we are in the position of having to rely on the perceptions/word of an 11-year old. Ugh

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is using voice texts? Maybe she is at a stop light?

[Anonymous]

Not voice. Yes, could be at a stoplight. Is that ok? That's a serious question. I have a zero tolerance policy with texting in the car, partly because I have teens who drive and this is what I insist on with them. Too rigid ? Are you comfortable with texting at red lights with kids in the car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not voice. Yes, could be at a stoplight. Is that ok? That's a serious question. I have a zero tolerance policy with texting in the car, partly because I have teens who drive and this is what I insist on with them. Too rigid ? Are you comfortable with texting at red lights with kids in the car?

I'll send short texts at the red light "on our way, lots of traffic" to give a heads up. Car isn't moving, I don't see the danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not voice. Yes, could be at a stoplight. Is that ok? That's a serious question. I have a zero tolerance policy with texting in the car, partly because I have teens who drive and this is what I insist on with them. Too rigid ? Are you comfortable with texting at red lights with kids in the car?

How do you know it is not voice?

[Anonymous]

Not OK. Bad example to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not voice. Yes, could be at a stoplight. Is that ok? That's a serious question. I have a zero tolerance policy with texting in the car, partly because I have teens who drive and this is what I insist on with them. Too rigid ? Are you comfortable with texting at red lights with kids in the car?

I'll send short texts at the red light "on our way, lots of traffic" to give a heads up. Car isn't moving, I don't see the danger.

Me too. Is that bad? Serious question. Never while the car is moving and always voice text. I don't read while the car is moving.

[Anonymous]

Wow didn't even know about voice text. How does it work ? I see no harm at stop lights but it doesn't model well to kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow didn't even know about voice text. How does it work ? I see no harm at stop lights but it doesn't model well to kids.

I have an iphone and there is a little microphone that you press and can dictate your text, email, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I know it's not voice because DS told me he sees her typing and picking up texts when the phone pings. The ones she has sent to me are not necessary, like "running late." An example was along the lines of "Your DS told me he has a great guitar teacher. I need one for DD can you recommend"
The problem I have with texting at a light is that there's too much tendency to finish up the text just as you're accelerating, or puck the phone back up to finish as you're rolling to the next stop, etc. it's distracted driving.
But we can disagree about whether this is safe and appropriate. Assume it's something you feel is unsafe. How do you diplomatically handle the situation with the other driver?

[Anonymous]

"Pick" not "puck." Sorry, I was sitting in traffic!
Kidding.

[Anonymous]

I would cut her out of carpool. Serious. For some people, texting is like an addiction. They can't stop. If you talk to her she will likely just stop texting you or try to hide it from your kid and be doubly distracted while driving.

Its not safe. You don't like it. So remove the problem.

[Anonymous]

Agree that texting is distracted driving even at lights.

[Anonymous]

If you think it's unsafe and don't want her to do it, your only choice is to leave the carpool. If she asks why you're leaving, you can nicely tell her the reason and say it's about your comfort level (sort of putting it on you). But unless she's a dimwit she'll realize that it's really her behavior.

I'm ok with SHORT texts at red lights. Not while the car is moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not voice. Yes, could be at a stoplight. Is that ok? That's a serious question. I have a zero tolerance policy with texting in the car, partly because I have teens who drive and this is what I insist on with them. Too rigid ? Are you comfortable with texting at red lights with kids in the car?

I'll send short texts at the red light "on our way, lots of traffic" to give a heads up. Car isn't moving, I don't see the danger.

So you are the stupid b&$@h who sits there when the light turns green because you are staring at you phone. That is still illegal in Maryland and I hope you get caught.