No, I *should* drink less, eat more vegetables, and stop swearing so much. But there is no *should* when it comes to gifts. Gifts are entirely optional and 100% at the discretion of the giver. I've been to many weddings -- from simple backyard affairs to four-day $500K extravaganzas. The amount spent on the event, the amount I spent to dress/get there has nothing to do with how much I give the couple. Our relationship is the only thing that matters. And this thread just reminded me that the couple who hosted the four-day extravaganza still hasn't sent a thank you note. That factors into future gifts. |
No way! |
We did $500 for husband’s first cousin that is very close to us and our kids and goes out of her way to see us, as does her now-husband. That would not be the norm for us. Probably $250 for just a random wedding, which thankfully we are rarely invited to because we are early 40’s. I imagine it will pick up again as our kids and their friends start to marry. |
It was $200 a couple bare minimum in 1990s. A $100 dollar a couple is the 1970s. At $500 a person you are “covering” your plate. |
250 - 500
250 is for co-workers and family friend 500+ is for besties, close family, etc. |
As someone who got married in 1998, I beg to differ. Other than parents, our biggest cash gift was $100. we considered it generous. |
I got $1,000 check from 5 people in 1998. A few $500. Made up for the deadbeats |
Wondering this also. Do you take into account venue/expense of the wedding or just the relationship? |
Makes sense. If I had 19 I would do the same. I have four total on both sides so we did $500 for the first one. For less close family or kids of our friends/friends of our children we will probably do $300 but it hasn't happened yet. We honestly don't go to that many weddings so that influences our giving more. If it were constant I would definitely have different feelings. |
You're obviously not living on a teacher's salary. |
For my 2008 wedding, $50 was the norm from my guest. |
+1 I just declined a wedding invite for a a casual friend from a decade + ago who I almost never talk to anymore. I was honestly surprised to even get an invite, I had no idea she was engaged. I sent my regards that I could not attend and bought a $50 item from her registry. No way am I just writing checks to everyone for $500. I would spend that on a close family member like niece or nephew. We just did $300 for a college graduation gift and will do more for weddings someday. |
I was married in 2005 and we also received no gifts over $100 from anyone other than parents and grandparents. |
I’ve never given over $100 and I’ve been invited to over a dozen weddings a year every non-covid year for the last several decades. I have friends and family who want me at their weddings. If you are deciding who to invite to your wedding based on what you expect them to give you, you are making the wrong relationship decisions. |
Same. Although culturally don't really do cash, but that's the value I spend on a gift or will do cash if no other option. |