How do deal with 17YO DD having sex

[Anonymous]

Found out that DD is having sex with a boy but they are not in a relationship since neither wants to get serious due to going away to college next year. I’m having a really hard time letting her hang out with this kid because I know they have having sex. I know they are being careful but it goes against my morals and I’m honestly just disgusted by the thought of this. How can I get over it and am I to simply allow them to hang out (Obviously not in my house)! Any advise for me?

[Anonymous]

Well, she's going away to college soon. What do you think she's going to do there that you will never know about?

It's her last bit of time at home. Do you want her to leave for college feeling judged? 17 year olds have sex. If she's using protection, you've raised her to be smart about it. Good job!

[Anonymous]

Honestly, that sounds kind of healthy and mature?

When I was 17, it was much more "no, we're in love and we're going to make this work long distance even though we're going to different schools."

Which we kind of all new wasn't true, but we all said it anyway so we could have sex

[Anonymous]

Talk to her about birth control pills and IUDs. A baby is a real college ruiner.

[Anonymous]

Birth control now. Make sure she has access to condoms. But other than that… she’s going to do it whether you approve or not. Just make sure she’s safe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out that DD is having sex with a boy but they are not in a relationship since neither wants to get serious due to going away to college next year. I’m having a really hard time letting her hang out with this kid because I know they have having sex. I know they are being careful but it goes against my morals and I’m honestly just disgusted by the thought of this. How can I get over it and am I to simply allow them to hang out (Obviously not in my house)! Any advise for me?

I'm not sure what your daughter's sexuality has to do with your morals but ymmv.

She's being careful. She is not getting serious before leaving for college. Sounds like she is able to advocate for herself.
I

[Anonymous]

I gave her the fear speech and told her if she got knocked up she would forever be tied to this boy and his family, as would we. And that she shouldn’t be cavalier about having an abortion, although that remains a choice (at least for now, legally speaking).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found out that DD is having sex with a boy but they are not in a relationship since neither wants to get serious due to going away to college next year. I’m having a really hard time letting her hang out with this kid because I know they have having sex. I know they are being careful but it goes against my morals and I’m honestly just disgusted by the thought of this. How can I get over it and am I to simply allow them to hang out (Obviously not in my house)! Any advise for me?

I'm not sure what your daughter's sexuality has to do with your morals but ymmv.

She's being careful. She is not getting serious before leaving for college. Sounds like she is able to advocate for herself.
I

Really? Are you dumb or being deliberately obtuse. Serious question.

Not to mention that it’s just speech. It’s overwhelmingly likely to be a boy since gays are only like 2% of the population.

[Anonymous]

One of the biggest parenting misconceptions is that parents can control the choices their kids make. You can't. All you can do is hope you have educated them enough that they make better choices.

Your kids will have sex at some point. You make sure they know how to reduce risks for STDs and pregnancy. You talk about the impact of sex on emotions (harder to break up with someone you've been having sex with, etc.) You talk about the impact of aking sure there are no differing expectations when you have sex with someone. And more.

You then trust your kids to make informed decisions.

[Anonymous]

First thing on Monday morning make an appointment for her to get an IUD. It sounds like you raised a mature, responsible DD. Sex is normal at age 17, OP.

[Anonymous]

Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, that sounds kind of healthy and mature?

When I was 17, it was much more "no, we're in love and we're going to make this work long distance even though we're going to different schools."

Which we kind of all new wasn't true, but we all said it anyway so we could have sex

I was a goody two shoes and almost followed the completely wrong person to college because of this. I think OP needs to make sure kid is protected from pregnancy and and std, and then let it go.

[Anonymous]

People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

[Anonymous]

It’s great she was open and honest with you,op. It’s very normal for teens to be having sex. She’s probably getting more attached than she thinks, just be there for here when she gets crushed by that.

[Anonymous]

Make sure she’s thinking about protection against STDs, not just pregnancy. And make sure she’s smart about things like not sexting and not sending nude pics of herself.