Appropriate punishment for DD?

[Anonymous]

DD has been involved in weird situation at school. Not completley her fault, but an incident has resulted in a 3 day suspension. For some context: she and her friends were purposefully clogging the toilets in an attempt to overflow the school. Yes, I know, unbelivable, but there's some additional context that is not worth getting into. Bottom line is, she is attending the Drizzy Drake and Jermaine Cole tour "big as the what?" should I let her go? Or is it reasomable enough to not let her go even though we've already bought the tickets and it would be too much of a hassle to sell them and she has been working hard and looking forward to it. Obviously she did something wrong but she has been working hard in school and im still proud of her. Help me out here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has been involved in weird situation at school. Not completley her fault, but an incident has resulted in a 3 day suspension. For some context: she and her friends were purposefully clogging the toilets in an attempt to overflow the school. Yes, I know, unbelivable, but there's some additional context that is not worth getting into. Bottom line is, she is attending the Drizzy Drake and Jermaine Cole tour "big as the what?" should I let her go? Or is it reasomable enough to not let her go even though we've already bought the tickets and it would be too much of a hassle to sell them and she has been working hard and looking forward to it. Obviously she did something wrong but she has been working hard in school and im still proud of her. Help me out here.

Is the concert during her suspension or later so one could possibly be not seen as linked to other?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Stupid AND will go on her record. No concert.

[Anonymous]

Let her go.
Reach out to school principal to see if there is anything she can do/ clean for volunteer hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has been involved in weird situation at school. Not completley her fault, but an incident has resulted in a 3 day suspension. For some context: she and her friends were purposefully clogging the toilets in an attempt to overflow the school. Yes, I know, unbelivable, but there's some additional context that is not worth getting into. Bottom line is, she is attending the Drizzy Drake and Jermaine Cole tour "big as the what?" should I let her go? Or is it reasomable enough to not let her go even though we've already bought the tickets and it would be too much of a hassle to sell them and she has been working hard and looking forward to it. Obviously she did something wrong but she has been working hard in school and im still proud of her. Help me out here.

Is the concert during her suspension or later so one could possibly be not seen as linked to other?

It would be after christmas.

[Anonymous]

I would take the concert away from her as a consequence. She'll be spitting nails and mad as can be at you, but she needs to learn.

As well as personally apologize to everyone involved, including the custodian or other staff who had the fun pleasure of cleaning up after her antics.

[Anonymous]

I would let her go to the concert but find another punishment that she will remember that feels connected

[Anonymous]

Wow op this is a big deal. She is hanging with a bad crowd. Hell to the no for the concert. I would be looking at other schools for her and banning her from seeing those friends. Grounded for a month and drive her to and from school. 3 day suspension! On her record! Big deal. There are no mitigating circumstances, op. It will get much harder from here if you don’t crack down. Chances are when she is an adult she will wish you had patented more seriously as she’s hurting her chances of future success and you are enabling her. B

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take the concert away from her as a consequence. She'll be spitting nails and mad as can be at you, but she needs to learn.

As well as personally apologize to everyone involved, including the custodian or other staff who had the fun pleasure of cleaning up after her antics.

Kids should get one pass on bad mistakes. One.
Show her kindness and as an example and let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let her go to the concert but find another punishment that she will remember that feels connected

Same. Taking the concert away just feel like you throwing a temper tantrum back.

But you don’t seem mad enough - I can think of no legitimate reason to purposefully flood a bathroom by clogging toilets. None.

[Anonymous]

I would not take away the concert. That’s not a constructive punishment and is probably too harsh. I would have her do community service for the school and also have a lot of talks with her about it. If you feel like you need to punish then do something more immediate like take away phone.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the concert is not super soon. I would do something else like taking away electronics/phone. That would have more an immediate impact

[Anonymous]

How exactly could this not be her fault? That's a pretty willful act that takes some planning and intent. You sound like you tend to make excuses for her and/or let her off the hook. How old is she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the concert away from her as a consequence. She'll be spitting nails and mad as can be at you, but she needs to learn.

As well as personally apologize to everyone involved, including the custodian or other staff who had the fun pleasure of cleaning up after her antics.

Kids should get one pass on bad mistakes. One.
Show her kindness and as an example and let her go.

I agree if this is her first big screw up. Ground her for a week instead. Strongly suggest she re-think these friendships, but avoid the forbidden fruit.

- parent who went for "big punishments" that backfired.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow. I am not that strict but I find that infraction really bad TBH. Clogging toilets- WTH? No gray area or excuse whatsoever for that one- awful.

I’d take away the concert and would not feel that is too harsh at all.