Anyone’s kid deciding not to go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen keeps showing me every negative article about college. He’s leaning on not going. I’m disappointed, he’s a pretty good student.

Kids were well aware of the social, intellectual, professional and financial divide between college educated and high school diploma holders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen keeps showing me every negative article about college. He’s leaning on not going. I’m disappointed, he’s a pretty good student.

Kids were well aware of the social, intellectual, professional and financial divide between college educated and high school diploma holders.

Once more, I think people are equating college = trained and HS = untrained. I think it is important that kids know that adults with training (whether it's a trade or firefighter or EMT, etc.) which requires something more than just a HS diploma, will do better in life.

However, there are different avenues for acquiring skills and 4-year college may not be a good option for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell me you’re not an immigrant or first gen without telling me..

My husband and I are both Hispanic immigrants and we were both First Gens when we attended College.... MY kids BETTER go to college. Not an Option!

I also see plenty of Asian and Middle Easter immigrants and First Gens attending College.

Isn't that part of the "American dream?"


OP - If your son is a good student and you have the means, don't' let him give up without trying. Plan trips and start visiting Colleges. It could be he's just overwhelmed with school right now...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be very upset, but it's true that college isn't for everyone.

Having stated that, you should show your kid the income trajectory for those with degree and those without.

I just heard an interesting article on average wages for those who go to college and they are about half of what my union member tradesperson earns. Given the guaranteed wage increases, I’m not sure you can say college is necessarily the best option for all.

Make 24yr old son makes $125K a year as a welder with full benefits and no college debt.

The amount of teens that go to college, go into debt and drop out without a degree is insane.

No thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell me you’re not an immigrant or first gen without telling me..

My husband and I are both Hispanic immigrants and we were both First Gens when we attended College.... MY kids BETTER go to college. Not an Option!

I also see plenty of Asian and Middle Easter immigrants and First Gens attending College.

Isn't that part of the "American dream?"


OP - If your son is a good student and you have the means, don't' let him give up without trying. Plan trips and start visiting Colleges. It could be he's just overwhelmed with school right now...

No PP, you are NOT “Hispanic,” nor is your spouse.

You are both LatinX.

If you really did attend college, you should have learned that fact (maybe you should ask for a refund).

Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell me you’re not an immigrant or first gen without telling me..

My husband and I are both Hispanic immigrants and we were both First Gens when we attended College.... MY kids BETTER go to college. Not an Option!

I also see plenty of Asian and Middle Easter immigrants and First Gens attending College.

Isn't that part of the "American dream?"


OP - If your son is a good student and you have the means, don't' let him give up without trying. Plan trips and start visiting Colleges. It could be he's just overwhelmed with school right now...

No PP, you are NOT “Hispanic,” nor is your spouse.

You are both LatinX.

If you really did attend college, you should have learned that fact (maybe you should ask for a refund).

Do better.

You are kidding right? We checked the Hispanic/Latino box.

LaniX? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Why won’t she go, my DD is not into learning at all, but she is excited about 4 years of carefree partying away from home

[Anonymous]

Hi OP!

I wouldn’t worry. Many kids today are rebelling against toxic achievement culture.

There will still be plenty of careers and jobs for everybody in the future. They will find a way; humanity always does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An education is a gift.
Love of learning is learned for most kids.

Your kid moves out no help from you. Take their cell phone and car if you pay.

If they are an adult then they need to be one fully.

You have no idea what you’re talking about. There are millions of successful Americans who chose another route. Hopefully they have plans or ideas of what’s next but they are 18 years old. That rigidness in thinking does not produce healthy successful adults. You need to get out more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine. She turned 21 yesterday. It kind of kills me. She is living with her boyfriend and his father. She had a nervous breakdown in high school and I think she's associated learning with all her mental illness issues. She couldn't complete HS and it took her three years to work up to taking her GED, which she passed on the first try. She works at a smoothie shop - I can't get a clear answer how many hours a week it is. She claims she doesn't want to go to college because she doesn't know what she wants to do and so it would be a waste.

She says she wants to work with her hands - I told her fine, go become a plumber or an electrician. No. She doesn't want to have to talk to people. I told her fine, go become a dishwasher in a restaurant. No, she doesn't want to work in the food service industry. Fine, go be a hotel maid and work in hospitality. No, she doesn't want to have to wear a uniform. Fine, go become a car mechanic at a big place, where someone else deals with the customers and you just work on the cars. No, that doesn't appeal to her. And on and on.

Every so often she'll ask me how to become some random profession. I think I want to be a writer - how did Elizabeth become an online editor? She went to school and double majored in English and journalism.

I just don't know how to help this kid. Who is now an adult.

Beauty industry is the answer. Massage therapy, nail tech, hairdresser, etc. You work with your hands and set your own hours.

I tried that - she doesn't want to have to deal with people/touch them.

Mail handler or carrier. Minimal contact with people and offers stability plus great benefits.

[Anonymous]

Well, he needs to have some sort of plan. College, community college / trade school, or full time job right out of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine. She turned 21 yesterday. It kind of kills me. She is living with her boyfriend and his father. She had a nervous breakdown in high school and I think she's associated learning with all her mental illness issues. She couldn't complete HS and it took her three years to work up to taking her GED, which she passed on the first try. She works at a smoothie shop - I can't get a clear answer how many hours a week it is. She claims she doesn't want to go to college because she doesn't know what she wants to do and so it would be a waste.

She says she wants to work with her hands - I told her fine, go become a plumber or an electrician. No. She doesn't want to have to talk to people. I told her fine, go become a dishwasher in a restaurant. No, she doesn't want to work in the food service industry. Fine, go be a hotel maid and work in hospitality. No, she doesn't want to have to wear a uniform. Fine, go become a car mechanic at a big place, where someone else deals with the customers and you just work on the cars. No, that doesn't appeal to her. And on and on.

Every so often she'll ask me how to become some random profession. I think I want to be a writer - how did Elizabeth become an online editor? She went to school and double majored in English and journalism.

I just don't know how to help this kid. Who is now an adult.

Beauty industry is the answer. Massage therapy, nail tech, hairdresser, etc. You work with your hands and set your own hours.

DP Nope, this child has no grit, no real work ethic (yet) to work towards a long term goal. Doesn’t matter what mom suggests. Until she wants it for herself, she will stay adrift.

DP but sounds to me like that poster’s daughter has some serious issues. Poor self esteem, possible ADHD. Not simply lazy.

[Anonymous]

I assume the "college or bust" crowd is paying 100% regardless of grades, right? Not making your children pay for your dreams, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of what he doesn’t want to do (college) focus on what he DOES want to do. What’s his plan? How does he want to spend his time, be productive and start supporting himself of heading in that direction? Vocational training, apprenticeship, something else?

Also, he just may not go to college YET. He will probably change his mind once he’s explored the world of low wage work, so keep that 529 funded.

I agree with this. Also the last thing you want is to force him to go to college and have him be so unmotivated that he fails all his classes. Just make sure you don’t give him the option of sitting and doing nothing.

[Anonymous]

My teen has jjst decided he’s not going. He’s studying investing on his own so dar he’s doing well- I’m shocked!