Yes and that’s what he’ll do just like your brother. |
Help your child sort what they want to do for money. Your child needs to do whatever - if any- the training is for that job. It may be a trade school, an apprenticeship, a certificate profrsm, a two year degreee etc… There are plenty of people with good jobs who do not go to college. Also keep in mind your child could go later in life. |
I know a mom whose kid had no intention of going away to college, so she secretly filled out and sent her kid's college application. The kid ended up going and doing fine. Not condoning this approach at all, and it probably delayed treatment for anxiety issues, but it doesn't seem like there are any regrets. |
Horrible advice! |
What if your kid doesn't want to go to college because they think they can make a ton of money by being a social media influencer or some side hustles? My son has several college acceptances in hand, most with good merit $. But he is really pushing back on college because he has been sucked into the "escape the matrix" mantra of influencers like Andrew Tate. The problem is, he is not really a great personality--like I can't really see him being successful in sales or social media. He has a lot of growing up to do and has ADHD and low processing, so school is not fun for him. But on the other hand, he has some intense interests (thanks to the ADHD) that he could definitely study in college and make a career out of. He does not want a conventional 9-5 job, and I've told him that going to college does not mean he has to work that type of job. I'm so frustrated. I just can't imagine turning down all these acceptances when he does not really have a viable alternative plan. |
At least he’s not opting for OnlyFans like some girls are instead of college. |
It’s fine. There are tons of jobs available to people w/o a college degree. |
https://www.npr.org/2024/04/22/1245858737/gen-z-trade-vocational-schools-jobs-college
Apparently many of this generation are not seeing the value of a college education. If he develops a tangible skill, there is nothing wrong with helping him find a way to obtain a pathway to becoming self-sufficient. Sometimes kids need a year or two to grow up and gain perspective. Working is one way to do that. You could always encourage him to pursue an associates degree after undergoing an apprenticeship or potentially concurrently in something like business so he would know how to run his own business and develop the customer service skills necessary to be a great boss one day. Forcing a kid who does not want to go to college when they have an alternative path -- even if it is not the one you had hoped for -- may backfire and you would be paying tuition for an uninvested child. To me, that seems like a bitter pill to swallow. Seeing first-hand how expensive it is to live in the DMV may also be a great motivator. Final note: Our plumber left a law firm to do a trade because he got sick and tired of the firm. He makes six figures. Obviously he would have made more in law, but he seems happy. |
I think I have a unique perspective on this topic. I worked trade jobs before going to school and now I practice labor and employment law. My take is that for a young man trades can be great. However, for it to work out you need to be savvy in a way that most dcum kids aren’t. Understanding unions, seniority, or just how to interact on a yard or site is its own skill and culture. You can make a lot of money in the trades(in some cases more than doctors). But there can be regular periods of unemployment which can be very painful if you don’t have the seniority to get recalled early.
But the most important thing to remember is that you are working with your body and as you age that gets harder. Additionally, you have a much higher chance of catastrophic injury. I saw two men impaled on rebar before I stared my current career. In 20 years there have been no impalement injuries at my office. If your son decides to pursue a trade he will have to be very serious about his finances. As a lawyer, I’ve never been unemployed, but when I worked construction, I spent part of every year unemployed between jobs. But you should also be aware that he’s probably not gonna be able to do that work into his 60s so he needs a plan. Good luck |
I do think more kids, especially young men, are deciding to skip college. They don't want the debt load, for starters.
A good plumber in Fairfax County pulls in $150k a year. Not bad, and no student loans to pay. |
^^And you cannot outsource the plumber's job overseas. He needs to do the work on site. So he has job security, unlike the office folks. |
I was reading a comment elsewhere awhile back from a late 20s guy who was dating and trying to find a relationship. He was going on many dates arranged over online dating apps. He was his own one-man contracting business, in a field of home repair. He had many women say it wasn't going anywhere as soon as he told them what he does for a living. His job wasn't good enough.
What he didn't tell them was that he earns $250k/year, owns his own home, and has no debt. He said he is waiting for that diamond in a rough who can see past his job title and he'll give her a good life. |
Maybe she should ask her parents. Would be awesome to have a contractor in the family. Think of how much money and stress you could save if your SIL could do all your renovations. |
I know a couple kids (great, smart, driven kids) not going because they are doing firefighter and EMT training instead. My ds is thinking about that, but since he isn't 100% sure he is going to go to college. If he were sure, I'd not have an issue with him going that route at all. What matters is having a plan. |
You sound like a loving mom 😂 |