Anyone’s kid deciding not to go to college?

[Anonymous]

My kids have all been told that we expect that they get some sort of post-secondary education. Whether that be college, community college or trade school is up to them.
My eldest is planning on 2 years of community college and then transferring to UMD to finish the degree. (there is a cooperative agreement in place for the program). We are happy with that because they will get a chance to see if this is the right major program for them with little to no cost to us.
I've always thought that a gap year is a good idea because most kids have no idea what they want to do when they grow up.

[Anonymous]

we have money for my kid to attend college, so they better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we have money for my kid to attend college, so they better

You get to keep that money if they don't. I don't think anyone is suggesting that kid doesn't go to college and you blindly hand over that money to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine. She turned 21 yesterday. It kind of kills me. She is living with her boyfriend and his father. She had a nervous breakdown in high school and I think she's associated learning with all her mental illness issues. She couldn't complete HS and it took her three years to work up to taking her GED, which she passed on the first try. She works at a smoothie shop - I can't get a clear answer how many hours a week it is. She claims she doesn't want to go to college because she doesn't know what she wants to do and so it would be a waste.

She says she wants to work with her hands - I told her fine, go become a plumber or an electrician. No. She doesn't want to have to talk to people. I told her fine, go become a dishwasher in a restaurant. No, she doesn't want to work in the food service industry. Fine, go be a hotel maid and work in hospitality. No, she doesn't want to have to wear a uniform. Fine, go become a car mechanic at a big place, where someone else deals with the customers and you just work on the cars. No, that doesn't appeal to her. And on and on.

Every so often she'll ask me how to become some random profession. I think I want to be a writer - how did Elizabeth become an online editor? She went to school and double majored in English and journalism.

I just don't know how to help this kid. Who is now an adult.

Beauty industry is the answer. Massage therapy, nail tech, hairdresser, etc. You work with your hands and set your own hours.

Or what about a dog groomer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we have money for my kid to attend college, so they better

You get to keep that money if they don't. I don't think anyone is suggesting that kid doesn't go to college and you blindly hand over that money to them.

DP. If it's in a 529, you have a steep penalty (10%) if the money isn't used for college or other post-secondary education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we have money for my kid to attend college, so they better

You get to keep that money if they don't. I don't think anyone is suggesting that kid doesn't go to college and you blindly hand over that money to them.

DP. If it's in a 529, you have a steep penalty (10%) if the money isn't used for college or other post-secondary education.

Well, you can of course keep it out there as your kid may grow up and decide they actually do want to go to college, or maybe you decide to fund your grandkids, or maybe you decide taking 90% is still better than possibly wasting it on a kid that you force to go to college and maybe the kid drops out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be very upset, but it's true that college isn't for everyone.

Having stated that, you should show your kid the income trajectory for those with degree and those without.

WSJ just ran a big article on the number of underemployed college graduates. For most of those kids, college was a negative investment.

The income trajectories are heavily influenced by outcomes in STEM, finance, etc. If you look at the trajectories outside of many quantitative majors, again, it won't produce the results you want to see.

This isn't to say you don't need skills, however, go out to SFO and there are thousands of people working in tech without college degrees...but they are skilled.

Advancement in the workplace usually requires a degree.

Yes, an electrician can make more than English major, so what you major in also matters.

The electrician can then own their own business and eventually make more than a programmer at a midsize company.

However, statistically, most electricians don't go on to own their own business.

Wouldn't that electrician have to get special masters training? My brother is in HVAC and took classes every night for years after work to become masters level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we have money for my kid to attend college, so they better

You get to keep that money if they don't. I don't think anyone is suggesting that kid doesn't go to college and you blindly hand over that money to them.

DP. If it's in a 529, you have a steep penalty (10%) if the money isn't used for college or other post-secondary education.

As of this year, you can now roll it into an Roth IRA penalty free up to $35k.

[Anonymous]

I make $275k and never graduated from college. My friends all did and earn much less. I own my own business. Sales is another path to earning a living and that's nothing college can teach. An education is different but you don't need a degree to be educated.

If you have the personality and drive getting a good sales jobs can be big money. My niece is a college dropout and got a clerical job at a small company that sells something technical to schools, I don’t know. She moved up to sales, represented them at conferences around the country and the commissions just poured in. She’s now vice-president of sales. Makes a
Mid six figure income.

Another niece had a useless degree in hospitality and was working at a hotel. Covid came, she was laid off and her friend recommended her for a job in sales. It was work at home for a start up whose services were in high demand. She made 5 times as much than her previous job.

Plus anyone can decide to go to college later on or trade school or get a two year certificate for a specific job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be very upset, but it's true that college isn't for everyone.

Having stated that, you should show your kid the income trajectory for those with degree and those without.

WSJ just ran a big article on the number of underemployed college graduates. For most of those kids, college was a negative investment.

The income trajectories are heavily influenced by outcomes in STEM, finance, etc. If you look at the trajectories outside of many quantitative majors, again, it won't produce the results you want to see.

This isn't to say you don't need skills, however, go out to SFO and there are thousands of people working in tech without college degrees...but they are skilled.

Advancement in the workplace usually requires a degree.

Yes, an electrician can make more than English major, so what you major in also matters.

The electrician can then own their own business and eventually make more than a programmer at a midsize company.

However, statistically, most electricians don't go on to own their own business.

You have to get out of this binary thinking. Read the article and then form your opinions...but you can't just respond 1/2-cocked with nothing but...well nothing.

BTW, there are plenty of programmers without college degrees.

The problem is that most white collar jobs require a degree. Until that changes, a non college grad is relegated to blue collar work. If that's what they want, then that's fine, but it does limit their income trajectory.

Also, I'm well aware that some software programmers don't have degrees, but they are not the norm.

-former FAANG employee

That’s just not true. There are more options now than there were years ago. Luckily there are options. Not everyone wants to sit in an office staring at a computer screen all day. Also not everyone wants to be physical and outdoors in all kinds of weather.

[Anonymous]

why punish them for making a decision for themselves?

Y'all need to realize that many successful people didn't go to college and went to a trade school or started their own business and you rely on them all the time such as those in trades or construction or mechanics. The best part is they realize you think you are so smart and charge you more than people who treat them properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we have money for my kid to attend college, so they better

You get to keep that money if they don't. I don't think anyone is suggesting that kid doesn't go to college and you blindly hand over that money to them.

DP. If it's in a 529, you have a steep penalty (10%) if the money isn't used for college or other post-secondary education.

As of this year, you can now roll it into an Roth IRA penalty free up to $35k.

Our kids ended up not needing all their money so we (parents) took a language class in italy and it was all covered once we changed it over to our names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine. She turned 21 yesterday. It kind of kills me. She is living with her boyfriend and his father. She had a nervous breakdown in high school and I think she's associated learning with all her mental illness issues. She couldn't complete HS and it took her three years to work up to taking her GED, which she passed on the first try. She works at a smoothie shop - I can't get a clear answer how many hours a week it is. She claims she doesn't want to go to college because she doesn't know what she wants to do and so it would be a waste.

She says she wants to work with her hands - I told her fine, go become a plumber or an electrician. No. She doesn't want to have to talk to people. I told her fine, go become a dishwasher in a restaurant. No, she doesn't want to work in the food service industry. Fine, go be a hotel maid and work in hospitality. No, she doesn't want to have to wear a uniform. Fine, go become a car mechanic at a big place, where someone else deals with the customers and you just work on the cars. No, that doesn't appeal to her. And on and on.

Every so often she'll ask me how to become some random profession. I think I want to be a writer - how did Elizabeth become an online editor? She went to school and double majored in English and journalism.

I just don't know how to help this kid. Who is now an adult.

Beauty industry is the answer. Massage therapy, nail tech, hairdresser, etc. You work with your hands and set your own hours.

I tried that - she doesn't want to have to deal with people/touch them.

It sounds like she may first need to have her mental health addressed better before she can delve into possible careers. It sounds like she's still struggling with a lot of amxiety post breakdown

Scarily, this is her after she's HAD a ton of therapy. She's going to need to do the rest on her own. I can't reach her. Literally - I don't know the address where she's living and when I've asked she's skirted answering, and we'll make plans to talk and then she won't follow through. I can only either cut her off completely or be there when she comes around every 1-3 months. I choose the latter.

COVID was very damaging to a lot of young people. There were multiple failures from the federal government level to the school systems, all the way down. It will take a generation to work through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be very upset, but it's true that college isn't for everyone.

Having stated that, you should show your kid the income trajectory for those with degree and those without.

WSJ just ran a big article on the number of underemployed college graduates. For most of those kids, college was a negative investment.

The income trajectories are heavily influenced by outcomes in STEM, finance, etc. If you look at the trajectories outside of many quantitative majors, again, it won't produce the results you want to see.

This isn't to say you don't need skills, however, go out to SFO and there are thousands of people working in tech without college degrees...but they are skilled.

Advancement in the workplace usually requires a degree.

Yes, an electrician can make more than English major, so what you major in also matters.

The electrician can then own their own business and eventually make more than a programmer at a midsize company.

However, statistically, most electricians don't go on to own their own business.

Wouldn't that electrician have to get special masters training? My brother is in HVAC and took classes every night for years after work to become masters level.

I think everyone agrees you should acquire skills...just not necessarily a college degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I make $275k and never graduated from college. My friends all did and earn much less. I own my own business. Sales is another path to earning a living and that's nothing college can teach. An education is different but you don't need a degree to be educated.

If you have the personality and drive getting a good sales jobs can be big money. My niece is a college dropout and got a clerical job at a small company that sells something technical to schools, I don’t know. She moved up to sales, represented them at conferences around the country and the commissions just poured in. She’s now vice-president of sales. Makes a
Mid six figure income.

Another niece had a useless degree in hospitality and was working at a hotel. Covid came, she was laid off and her friend recommended her for a job in sales. It was work at home for a start up whose services were in high demand. She made 5 times as much than her previous job.

Plus anyone can decide to go to college later on or trade school or get a two year certificate for a specific job.

I am in sales and out earn everyone I know that went to college.