parents helping with down payment??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it happens. But we would never accept money from our parents. My DH's parents offered to give us money as a down-payment and we turned it down. That's just not who we are. We bought a home that we could afford. And we waited until we could afford a home on our own before buying.

That's fine that's "who you are". But clearly you're making a judgment about those of us who took parents' help. So let's say you waited 5 years before you could afford to buy. So now you've probably spent $100k or more on rent during that period, plus you'll pay tens of thousands of dollars in fees/interest/pmi to the bank to use their money, that might have otherwise been avoided if parents gave you the money or a large downpayment. My parents and I are close and this was a no-nonsense business decision. Better to save $150k (whether through me or them) than to give that money to a landlord or the bank. Being financially stupid is "just not who we are."

(PS this rationale obviously doesn't apply to those whose families aren't able to help. Just to the nose-in-the-air righteous folk who had the option to take parental help but thought they were too good for it).

It's less of a judgment about others and more of a statement about me and my DH. Our parents on both sides are wealthy. Some of it was inherited. Most of it was earned. We have been together since we were 16 years old. Married at 22. We are 50. We are both fiercely independent. Everything we have, we have because we were lucky enough to have parents who paid for our college education. The rest we earned. Taking money from our parents for anything other than a true emergency would feel like a step backwards to both of us.

We come from extremely close families. But we also come from families who believe that once kids are 18, they are adults. And adults pay their own bills. Our five children were raised the same. I have no one living in my basement. None of my kids moved back home after they graduated from college. We would (and have) helped with emergencies. But I wouldn't give them the downpayment for a home. I think there is pride in ownership and doing it by yourself.

Again, that's just me. I understand that it's very common for others.

Yeah...I'm less impressed with older gen x and boomers who did it themselves. If you bought real estate in this area before 2000, not such a Big deal. NOw millenials who have done it, or young gen x, who had the misfortune of entering the market right before 2008...

It's a little disingenuous to not acknowledge that luck plays a part. Whether you were lucky enough to have familial support, or just good timing.

+1. We got $100k help from my parents to buy a super small house for $400k when I graduated from law school. I'm lucky my parents are rich. Had I been born 3 years earlier, the house would have cost $180k (that's literally what the guy we bought from paid 3 years before). And law school tuition would have been $30k less over the three years. It would have been more lucky to have been born three years earlier than to get $$ from my parents. The financial savings are way more than anything my parents have given me.

[Anonymous]

Aside from PITI, how much should you factor for monthly upkeep / maintenance / lawn / emergency costs on a 1.5M SFH?

[Anonymous]

^^ oops had the wrong thread open. ignore

[Anonymous]

We didn't get any help with purchasing either one of our homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't get any help with purchasing either one of our homes.

We haven't either, but we will surely be helping our kid.

We scraped pennies together and took out 401K loans for our first house - that was 4 houses ago and we have built a ton of equity in the process. If our parents could have, they would have, but we managed to do it alone. It is possible.