Dating an older man - 20 years older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:72, lol

We have been married for 18 years, known each other for 20.

Good for you (not being sarcastic).

There is truly no reason to begrudge another women for being with an older man unless you've got some insecurity or jealousy. Those are the real reasons why some women get on their high horses about this. Just be honest about that and stop acting like you are acting in the name of some higher purpose.

100% true. It sure seems like there are a LOT of women in the relationship forum that are unhappy with their own lives and don't like to see anyone else happy in their relationship.

Only 1% of the population marries with a 20 year or more age gap. It is not women on this forum who are jealous. It is not common because age gaps where one partner is another generation and old enough to be the father of the other partner, have not worked out for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, why not? If you're not planning on kids and this is someone you can really see a future with, go for it. Chances are you'll have 20-25 years of good health with this man. Yes, it does mean (more likely than not) that you'll be widowed at a young age, and that you might spend your 50s caring for an ailing spouse. But if you'd rather have 2 decades with this man than 4-5 decades with any other, that's what you should do. It sounds like you're going in with your eyes open.

I know of a couple that was like this. The husband promised the wife 20 years. He made it about 25 years before he began to fall ill. But those 20 years were very active and they traveled a lot and enjoyed one another. She thought it was worth it.

+1, I don't have as big of an age gap as you do, but I am 33 and my BF is 47. We were very good friends before we started dating. We always had a very strong mental connection, which eventually led to dating and then a physical relationship. I have never loved anyone the way I love this man. We talk about marriage a lot and like the poster above I have decided that I would rather have 20 to 25 years of marriage with this man, rather than anyone else on the planet. For the record, his not rich by any means. We are both feds and together we make decent money, but I am not with him for his wallet. I am with him because he makes me happy. We laugh together, have a lot of the same interests and can spend hours talking. Our sex life is very active, although I will say the equipment does not work full 100% of the time, but in those cases he does take Viagra. We have also found many other ways to be intimate and enjoy one another w/ out having to have PIV. I think this just comes with the territory with dating someone older, but I am certainly satisfied and he keeps up with me. I am high drive. If you love this man, I think you should go for it. There is no guarantees you will find this kind of love w/ a younger man. I feel fortunate to have found this kind of love and I am going to hold onto it for as long as I can and if I have to be his care taker later in our lives, I will do it with all my heart and soul. We all take a chance of playing this role with anyone we marry. People get sick all of the time and life does not always go according to the plans we have in our heads.

I am actually divorced and was married to a younger man. I do have one child from my first marriage, and my boyfriend also has an older daughter from his first marriage that I am very close with so I don't have the "no kids" worry. That is the only "issue" i see, is that in 5 years from now you may decide you want a child. I still sometimes think I want one more and that is something we have discussed and I don't think its completely off the table. If we have another, it would be sooner than later, but it would still put me at 36 and him at 50, but I certainly think we both have a lot of love to give and our child would be loved and cared for. Good luck OP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:72, lol

We have been married for 18 years, known each other for 20.

Good for you (not being sarcastic).

There is truly no reason to begrudge another women for being with an older man unless you've got some insecurity or jealousy. Those are the real reasons why some women get on their high horses about this. Just be honest about that and stop acting like you are acting in the name of some higher purpose.

100% true. It sure seems like there are a LOT of women in the relationship forum that are unhappy with their own lives and don't like to see anyone else happy in their relationship.

Only 1% of the population marries with a 20 year or more age gap. It is not women on this forum who are jealous. It is not common because age gaps where one partner is another generation and old enough to be the father of the other partner, have not worked out for a reason.

This is logical fallacy.

The statement

"Only 1% of the population marries with a 20 year or more age gap"

-- does not support the conclusion that these relationships

"have not worked out for a reason"


This statistic tells us nothing about the success, or contentment, of the 1% of the population who DID marry with a 20+ year age gap. It only tells us that it is not the norm, which we already know.

You could make a similar argument against gay marriage, or people marrying outside of their race, or cherry-pick any other statistical correlation based on which group you wish to vilify. I guess what is not the norm should be discouraged, or shamed, according to PP.

[Anonymous]

Well as long as you go into it with eyes wide open. My father seemed fine at 50 and his health has drastically declined in 7 years.

[Anonymous]

I think men dating or marrying much younger women (15 years or so) fall into 2 categories: loser guys and wealthy guys. Of course, there is sometimes an overlap here.

[Anonymous]

My dad had me when he was 24 andvmy mother was 22. They were married and still are married.

When I was 24, a man 48 years old was too old to me. Maybe if your father is in his 70s when you're in your 20s or 30s, then a man in his 40s or 50s doesn't seem to old to you to date.

[Anonymous]

48/2 + 7 = 31.

24 is definitely too young for a 48 year old.

According to the Formula, the upper limit for a 24 year old is a 34 year old.

[Anonymous]

Who are all these broken down 70 yo people? Maybe it's just my family, but we are pretty much good to go until mid-80s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men dating or marrying much younger women (15 years or so) fall into 2 categories: loser guys and wealthy guys. Of course, there is sometimes an overlap here.

Don't be jelly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are all these broken down 70 yo people? Maybe it's just my family, but we are pretty much good to go until mid-80s

Cancer can happen to anyone. Chances go up as you get older. Look at David Bowie, Alan Rickman. OP should seriously consider if she is up to being a care taker to much older husband. Everyone gets old but some much faster plus the illnesses.

[Anonymous]

Yes health issue will be a very big problem. 50+ have all kinds of issues. Every 10 years it gets worst.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

^LOL! They never dated! What are you doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men dating or marrying much younger women (15 years or so) fall into 2 categories: loser guys and wealthy guys. Of course, there is sometimes an overlap here.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:72, lol

We have been married for 18 years, known each other for 20.

Good for you (not being sarcastic).

There is truly no reason to begrudge another women for being with an older man unless you've got some insecurity or jealousy. Those are the real reasons why some women get on their high horses about this. Just be honest about that and stop acting like you are acting in the name of some higher purpose.

100% true. It sure seems like there are a LOT of women in the relationship forum that are unhappy with their own lives and don't like to see anyone else happy in their relationship.

Only 1% of the population marries with a 20 year or more age gap. It is not women on this forum who are jealous. It is not common because age gaps where one partner is another generation and old enough to be the father of the other partner, have not worked out for a reason.

This is logical fallacy.

The statement

"Only 1% of the population marries with a 20 year or more age gap"

-- does not support the conclusion that these relationships

"have not worked out for a reason"


This statistic tells us nothing about the success, or contentment, of the 1% of the population who DID marry with a 20+ year age gap. It only tells us that it is not the norm, which we already know.

You could make a similar argument against gay marriage, or people marrying outside of their race, or cherry-pick any other statistical correlation based on which group you wish to vilify. I guess what is not the norm should be discouraged, or shamed, according to PP.

Nice! love it!