Dating an older man - 20 years older

[Anonymous]

BTDT...don't do it.

[Anonymous]

I slept with someone 20 something years older than me. Would I date or marry him? Hell no. Looking back I see how huge the age difference is and how much I've changed in comparison to how much he has changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe strongly in the classic formula:

((older person's age)/2 + 7 = (lowest partner age))

For a 50 year old:
50/2 + 7 = 32

At 30, you're already a couple of years below a 50 year old's floor. I know 30 is only 2 years young than 32, but the formula is already lenient. It allows for greater differences in age as you get older, as those differences gradually mean less. If he was in his mid-40s, I'd say go for it.

Of course, there are always exceptions. Maybe he is unusually fit and youthful looking, or has enough money or personality to make up for it? Patrick Stewart was the "Sexiest Man in America" in his 50s.

I hate to say it, but unless he has enough money that you don't have to worry about affording medical care, or help around the house as he ages, I would tread cautiously.

Everyone talks of this classic formula, but they forget that this formula was for men from ages 18 to 30 years. It was not for really old guys, like a 60 year old man with a 37 year old woman, Which is quite creepy.


So for a 18 year old :
18/2 + 7 = 16


For a 30 year old man:
30/2 + 7 = 22

Both of those ages work quite well for the *lowest* possible age.

It's not "creepy" for a 60 year old to be dating someone who is almost 40. 60 with a 20 year old would be creepy.

What?! A 60 yo dating a 39 yo is definitely creepy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe strongly in the classic formula:

((older person's age)/2 + 7 = (lowest partner age))

For a 50 year old:
50/2 + 7 = 32

At 30, you're already a couple of years below a 50 year old's floor. I know 30 is only 2 years young than 32, but the formula is already lenient. It allows for greater differences in age as you get older, as those differences gradually mean less. If he was in his mid-40s, I'd say go for it.

Of course, there are always exceptions. Maybe he is unusually fit and youthful looking, or has enough money or personality to make up for it? Patrick Stewart was the "Sexiest Man in America" in his 50s.

I hate to say it, but unless he has enough money that you don't have to worry about affording medical care, or help around the house as he ages, I would tread cautiously.

Everyone talks of this classic formula, but they forget that this formula was for men from ages 18 to 30 years. It was not for really old guys, like a 60 year old man with a 37 year old woman, Which is quite creepy.


So for a 18 year old :
18/2 + 7 = 16


For a 30 year old man:
30/2 + 7 = 22

Both of those ages work quite well for the *lowest* possible age.

It's not "creepy" for a 60 year old to be dating someone who is almost 40. 60 with a 20 year old would be creepy.

What?! A 60 yo dating a 39 yo is definitely creepy!

Why? A 39 year old is basically a middle-aged women. She's an adult, not a naive adolescent. She can make her own decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jealous of his babysitting job?

This is the case in my circle as well. People are minimally polite, but millennial girlfriends are tolerated, perhaps pitied for their naivete, but never fully accepted. The men are looked down upon and excluded if we don't feel like dealing with the girlfriend at a particular event.

Oh darn. He's looked down on and excluded. Guess he has to go home and bang his smoking hot, young, taut girlfriend instead of hanging out with the saggy 40-somethings who talk about their boring jobs and boring suburban lives. Sucks to be him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I slept with someone 20 something years older than me. Would I date or marry him? Hell no. Looking back I see how huge the age difference is and how much I've changed in comparison to how much he has changed.

How much is the OP going to change between 30 and 40? Probably not much if she doesn't want kids. So "how much she's going to change" might not be such a big deal now compared to if she were 20.

[Anonymous]

There's no doubt your money fever aligns with his fat wallet and bank accounts. Yikes

[Anonymous]

I think once someone is in their mid 30s and up, it's really up to her and not really for others to judge.

[Anonymous]

I'm 45 and started to date a 67 yr old man. It didn't get very far. Already we were in different worlds. I have a 5 and 8 yr old. He is done with kids and talking of grandkids. He's also retired. From a values and interest standpoint we were a great match but the day to day that makes up my life was worlds away from his and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and started to date a 67 yr old man. It didn't get very far. Already we were in different worlds. I have a 5 and 8 yr old. He is done with kids and talking of grandkids. He's also retired. From a values and interest standpoint we were a great match but the day to day that makes up my life was worlds away from his and vice versa.

That's a good observation. I think where you are kids-wise is just as important as the age difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex is 41 and dating a 22 year old. Everyone in our circle thinks he's a moron. I'm happily remarried to someone my own age.

Everyone is probably jealous.

Her favourite movie is a Disney movie and she acts like she's 12. Not hot either, so no. No one is jealous.

[Anonymous]

I think past 35 you know who you are, but 40 year old guys dating girls in their young 20's are pretty pathetic. I mean clearly they can't handle having an equal and need someone young to control. I mean sure the sex is great for the man now, but what about when his peen doesn't work anymore and miss hot 20 year old wants something that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex is 41 and dating a 22 year old. Everyone in our circle thinks he's a moron. I'm happily remarried to someone my own age.

Everyone is probably jealous.

Her favourite movie is a Disney movie and she acts like she's 12. Not hot either, so no. No one is jealous.

My dad married a 40-year-old when he was 60. Nobody was jealous then, and certainly not now. She spends his money and pushes him around and totally takes advantage of his loss of mental ability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think past 35 you know who you are, but 40 year old guys dating girls in their young 20's are pretty pathetic. I mean clearly they can't handle having an equal and need someone young to control. I mean sure the sex is great for the man now, but what about when his peen doesn't work anymore and miss hot 20 year old wants something that works?

+1. What happens when she catches on that she can do better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex is 41 and dating a 22 year old. Everyone in our circle thinks he's a moron. I'm happily remarried to someone my own age.

Everyone is probably jealous.

Her favourite movie is a Disney movie and she acts like she's 12. Not hot either, so no. No one is jealous.

Seriously dude. No one is jealous, except the pedophiles.