DH wants me to cheat
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Anonymous
Could be possible, we don't know the DH. I have 2 acquaintances who married, had kids, then DH came out. Happens. OP, your DH is off in some way. Only you can decide if you are up for monogamous role play or if that may in fact lead to more deviant demands. |
Anonymous
I'm so sorry, OP. This is so gross and unfair to you. How long until your kids launch? |
Anonymous
I like your willingness to at least consider some options short of actually doing what you'd be very uncomfortable doing. The ability to be GGG(look it up) with your partner is so key to a good relationship. |
Anonymous
Not sure it's all that "common" OP. Maybe plan some date nights, some with other couples and encourage DH to dial back the p*rn usage. It often keeps getting more and more extreme until sometimes they can't get it up for a real, not fantasy woman. That he is noticeably more "excited" in his fantasy and not noticing how uncomfortable YOU were is a real red flag. I'm so sorry. Do you work? Are your kids close to launching? Once men go down this rabbit hole sometimes life goes sideways. |
Anonymous
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DH abstaining from watching the p*rn that is driving his fetish is more healthy and likely to preserve your marriage than indulging it, OP, especially as it makes you uncomfortable. I'd find such a fetish and his "visible excitement" even talking about it dehumanizing, you are not alone.
Therapy to build a real life connection and deal with any past trauma he may have could also be beneficial. https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com/blog/how-porn-induces-sexual-fetishes-and-what-you-can-do-about-your-fetish |
Anonymous
It's not "healthy" if she is "majorly turned off" by the idea. Her feeling coerced that he is visibly "excited" by the idea and her fearing he may "not want to share in the future" is absolutely GROSS. It's dehumanizing for someone not turned on by it. He may get his fetish indulged, until it grows more extreme, but this is already driving a wedge into their marriage. Rather than sex building connection, he is too into his p*rn addled fantasies to notice that his IRL WIFE is turned off and fearful of where it might lead if she participates or does not. Too much p*rn is not good for marriages. |
Anonymous
| Is your husband extremely progressive? |
Anonymous
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I'd be concerned that he is not attuned to you and your feelings, OP.
Role playing is not a fix for that. Nor is having sex with another man in front of DH. Do you have kids? Do you have a job? Your fears re: him not wanting to be in the marriage in the future regardless of what you do are not baseless. He's kind of not in it now, more in his head and fetish. That is not great. |
Anonymous
condoms is like not having sex. You feel nothing |
Anonymous
| Cuckolding is very popular among Millennials and Gen-Z, and especially the more highly educated in those generations. |
Anonymous
Welcome to REAL LIFE. Or you can hold your lonely own on a mighty high pedestal and rant about the sins of patriarchy, men’s addiction to porn, et al. Otherwise, you can try and work within your marriage that that almost always comprises two imperfect individuals. It is a give and take unless OP thinks role playing is so reprehensible that she wants to go scorched earth on it. $0.02 |
Anonymous
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If your husband is asking you to do this and not even noticing your discomfort, it doesn't seem like there is much true intimacy?
Not sure it that is something he would be interested in or not? If not, the marriage is not likely to go the distance anyway. OP, don't do things you are uncomfortable with, you will likely regret it. |
Anonymous
I doubt that. Men with healthy self esteem and regard for their wives would not find the idea appealing. Especially if their wife does not. |
Anonymous
| Y'all can keep trying to normalize your fetish but most healthy and connected married couples are NOT on F$tlife. |