Need advice dealing with angry, bitter wife.
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Yes exhaustion makes u say the craziest thing. Do u have kids are u married.. I love my kids they know too. So when u walk in our shoes then tell me different. |
Anonymous
| Exhaustion n fatigue makes you say and do the darnest. |
Anonymous
| When you are a mother you are never alone in your thoughts you have to think twice once for herself amd one for the child.---sophia Loren |
Anonymous
| Sounds like my mom. Growing up was not pleasant. My mom finally drove my Dad to agree to a divorce in 2003. He was miserable but found someone else and married her in 2005. They are very happy. Meanwhile, my mom now has Altzeimer's and I am the one her care falls to. (Yes, massive resentment on my part). But anyway, if your wife won't get medicL treatment, do your kids a favor and leave. You/they will be much happier. |
Anonymous
|
To the OP's SO:
Reading your post I believe you are bipolar and need psychiatric treatment. Mood stabilizers likely will turn your life around. I know it is difficult to acknowledge this (a common problem with bipolars) but you owe it to your family and yourself to get help. I understand that your husband is not there for you. He has tuned-out and he may have never been tuned-in. He needs family counseling to help him understand you and forgive you for this affliction you have and learn how to be a good partner and lover. But in any case it is not your fault that you are bipolar, there is no reason for you to continue to suffer from this awful affliction. |
Anonymous
|
OP- So sorry to hear.
I have watched my husband go downhill over the past several years, changing into a bitter angery person as well. Its not as continuous as your wife's appears to be from your description, but it is heartbreaking and has literally ruined my life. He projects his mood on me as the source. The WORST is: he agreed to treatment, tried it, got not the best care, and has relapsed. Now after having hope, I am losing hope again. If you can get your wife to seek treatment, I just want to tell you, as others have told me: its still a lifelong thing. It wont be a fix, even if meds work. You are looking at a long recovery. If it can happen. I dont want to reduce your hope, just know that you are not alone, and also that if your wife wont see someone, there really is nothing YOU can do about that. What I have realized is that I feel a whole lot better if I tell myself I will work on an exit strategy. I suggest you do the same. and dont feel conflicted about it. Make your best effort to get her to see she needs help, and extend the offer to get help yourself so she sees everyone is in this together. Try to get her to see that the damaging things she is saying to your daughter as in fact doing permanent damage- and does she really want that? Meanwhile, look into divorce, alimony, custody issues ON YOUR OWN and TELL HER NOTHING. Dont even hint at it. It does not matter that she is asking for a divorce, you do NOT tell her you are considering it yourself. I normally am a proponent of total honesty, but this is an exceptionally charged situation, so it would do no good. What I am getting at is: I think you will now need to live two realities One in which this can be worked out, and one in which it cant. And put forth sincere efforts in both directions. If I had your financial means, and could live separately from my husband, I would totally do it. I just dont have the means. And therefore I have motviation to give this a real try. I do also love my husband very much, but he has destroyed my trust in him with his awful behavior, which he at times completely defends, other times acknowledges and feels remorseful for. Its really crazy living this way. I worry about my health. Im so sorry OP. Your task is enormous. I understand what PP is trying to say about how its not your wifes fault if she has an imbalance, but it IS her fault if SHE CHOSES to BULLY and VERBALLY ABUSE the family and expect them to put up with it. Then again, she is asking for divorce. Maybe in some distorted way she is trying to remover HERself? She is hoping the problem will not follow her? I doubt she is confident in that. Which would only make her more "crazy" feeling. I never imagine my marriage would be marred by mental illness, but it is. And its truly tragic. I wish it was not. DEFinitely talk to someone yourself, just to give yourself that space to vent and come up with strategies. I would say that is step one. Protect YOUR sanity. You will need it. |
Anonymous
| I understand your plight, I have been married about 4 years and when we are connected it's awesome but when we disconnect it's hell. She has a way of making me feel like I never measure up, can never do enough, I admit I have shortcomings but doesn't everyone? I tend to use Facebook as a device to let my anger and frustration out and I even get chastised for that, so in the end I have come to this conclusion. Sometimes in life your mind, your tolerance and limits are tested by the very ones closest to you or the one very person that you thought through thick and thin they would have your back. I mean at times some people have the power over you to make you question the meaning of life, of marriage or even what have you done in your life to merit the pain and suffering that you have endured. I came to this conclusion at 1:43AM this morning, however along with that realization came the knowledge that I can't worry about anyone else because I have to first look at myself every morning when God gives me breath to wake up. So in the end one might take into consideration what anyone will tell them or when they give thier own thoughts about situations but in the end, for real it means nothing because those very same people or person will be judged just as I will be judged when my peanut shaped head is placed into the wallnut overcoat also known as a casket. I have so many blessings that I refuse to be brouught down by groups of people or a person with a Napoleon Complex. Yes thank you for all you have done, thank you very very much, however don't think that your crap doesn't stink, don't think that you walk on water cause you don't. Whatever chemical imbalances you have or whatever mental turmoil your going through is based on decisions made in your life well before I EVER CAME ALONG, and whatever you say compared to what you had a few years ago compared to what you have now, you have been blessed 10 times over, so don't let one of the seven deadliest sins ruin you. So to you I love you with all that I am, but I love mysef more, always have and always will, but you will no longer steal my joy or cause me to take my eye off the big picture. A season, a reason or a lifetime, choices will always have to be made, sometimes easy and sometimes incredibly hard.................... |
Anonymous
Yep, this. I am in this situation myself. And it will make you appear bitter and depressed - who wouldn't be in this situation?? |
Anonymous
|
can't believe the original poster is till in the same place and reading this thread but I feel like venting.
offer to do all the cooking then prepare the simplest most non allergic potential meals you can manage. (chicken and veg) Sprinkle all her food with 5htp, tyrosine and phenylalanine then wait. Shut your mouth and do not ever venture an opinion about anything more significant than the weather. If she does not improve your marriage will be just a shit and doomed but at least you won't have to have the countless pointless fights. |
Anonymous
| This whole thread is loaded with mental illness. Maybe you all need group therapy. |
Anonymous
| OP, haven't you posted this same thing before? |