I wanted a ring, but I was willing to give my now husband a gift to conmemorate our engagement. He wanted a watch so I gave him one. A ring for him would have been ok too.
I agree with the poster who say that a one way expectation of a ring is anti-feminist, and that engagement shouldn't mark women only. |
what about "I want a ring and won't get engaged to a man who refuses to give me one?" |
Well, that's true regardless of whether or not you're talking about a traditional setup or a setup with two working parents. When you have a good SAHM/working dad setup, the dad isn't spending less time with the kids than he would be if the wife were working. The prior comment said that posters who don't like "housewives" just believe that children should be taken care of by both parents. If a dad only spends time with his kids after work isn't taking care of his kids, what does that say about moms who only spend time with their kid after work? This line of thinking just seems like a bizarre reason to dislike SAHMs. |
I'm a working mom but this misogynistic drivel. Some women become SAHMs because they truly want to do the work of raising kids and tending a home. They want to be the one to physically care for their children, instead of working and paying another woman to do it. Some women become SAHMs because many women work in lower wage fields and they don't earn as much as childcare costs. So families choose to have the lower wage earner stay home (and due to patriarchal economies that devalue the work of many women) this is more likely to be the woman. Most SAHMs do not stay in that role forever, though they also don't return to other paid full time work. Because of the continued stigma of resume gaps, and the fact that school is never a full childcare solution, many SAHMs go on to be one part time or underpaid workers whose work is further devalued because they are mothers who need flexibility for their kids. The percent of families who can make enough money to either have one full time SAHP or who can afford to fully outsource all work-hours childcare is so small as to be almost irrelevant to this conversation. But this group is overrepresented on DCUM and many of you are too myopic to realize that your situation is rare, especially in high cost of living areas. |
That transcends feminisism and lands you in red flag territory. |
I already expressed in my first paragraph the lack of money to pay for childcare is one of the factors pushing women to become SAHMs. It's not that women's roles are devalued, it's that women are constantly pushed into roles that are seen as less valuable. It's a fact that almost any body could become a homemaker and that's the reason why the role is less valued than a role that requires training or skills. |
Imagine DeBeers switched their marketing/business model to "Season Tickets to your man's preferred sporting event is FOREVER". And this drove the equivalent level of sales revenue ("given the sales of engagement rings"). If a guy said, "And given the sales of Engagement Season Tickets, I would say most American men are like me and would expect [season tickets]" My response: that guy is a complete idiot. Leave him immediately. Find love. |
You're way too caught up on what society says is right before marriage. Who made the rule that an engagement ring is a must?! Do you even know? I'm sure you don't, but in your mind if that very non-important step isn't taken then the engagement isn't valid? There's so much more to marriage than engagement rings and ridiculously expensive weddings. Get a grip. |
The Blood Diamond Cartel. The answer is, literally, the marketing machine funded by The Blood Diamond Cartel. |
Your sister sounds like a pick me. |
And you sound materialistic |
Why, oh why, would anyone other than the two people getting engaged care if there is a ring or not?!?! |
You find what sad? that others have different values than you? That others might not care about jewelry? That other people choose different ways of expressing their love/decision to marry? You are incredibly shallow and I am sad for you and whatever children you might have and are imparting your materialistic values on. |
That PP/OP is either a troll or a person who is too stupid to understand what she’s attempting to talk about. For people who have experienced real love, IYKYK. |
Yep. A case study in marketing creating demand. |