Why do some women think it's acceptable to get engaged without a ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister and another friend got "engaged" recently. None of them had rings and in the case of my sister, there was not even a proposal, just her and the guy agreeing on a date to get married later this year. I feel like it sets the bar very low for their partners and it's not something women should be ok with. My husband too popped the question without one and it felt incredibly informal, as if he wasn't serious about getting married. I told him that a ring was important to me and he popped the question again a week later with a ring.

A ring doesn't even need to be expensive, there are many cute rings for less than $500. It's the symbolism behind it that's important. It doesn't seem that my friend and sister are being taken seriously by their men, but they look like they're ok with it which is baffling. Women should stop pretending to be cool girls and set higher standards for their partners.

'

Because not all cultures have engagement rings?

[Anonymous]

Some people are in love with a lifestyle and by extension the person who provides it.

[Anonymous]

I think being able to afford a ring is a good indicator of whether you will be able to manage and afford other important milestones like a wedding, a house, a child, a retirement. The cost of each of these things ratchets up almost exponentially. If you can’t cross the first hurdle you both need to up your game and plan better until you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think being able to afford a ring is a good indicator of whether you will be able to manage and afford other important milestones like a wedding, a house, a child, a retirement. The cost of each of these things ratchets up almost exponentially. If you can’t cross the first hurdle you both need to up your game and plan better until you can.

My dad was a 21 year old student with an entry level job at the time of his marriage and couldn't afford a ring for my mom but bought a ton load of jewelry during 50 years of their marriage. I don't think a ring is a measure of a man's worth or character.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, so were my uncle but his career never took off so no jewelry ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think being able to afford a ring is a good indicator of whether you will be able to manage and afford other important milestones like a wedding, a house, a child, a retirement. The cost of each of these things ratchets up almost exponentially. If you can’t cross the first hurdle you both need to up your game and plan better until you can.

My dad was a 21 year old student with an entry level job at the time of his marriage and couldn't afford a ring for my mom but bought a ton load of jewelry during 50 years of their marriage. I don't think a ring is a measure of a man's worth or character.

Buying jewelry isn't a measure of a man's character either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think being able to afford a ring is a good indicator of whether you will be able to manage and afford other important milestones like a wedding, a house, a child, a retirement. The cost of each of these things ratchets up almost exponentially. If you can’t cross the first hurdle you both need to up your game and plan better until you can.

The only indicators of what you can afford are your income and your bank account savings. You don't need a ring to know that. There are people out there who think that rings and weddings aren't important milestones, but unnecessary spending to signalize status. I happen to agree with this.

For all we know, OP's sister and her partner didn't think a ring was necessary.

[Anonymous]

I think OP has too much time in her hands and knows of no creative ways of spending it.

[Anonymous]

Engagement rings on women is outdated. It reeks of old-fashioned branding of chattel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think being able to afford a ring is a good indicator of whether you will be able to manage and afford other important milestones like a wedding, a house, a child, a retirement. The cost of each of these things ratchets up almost exponentially. If you can’t cross the first hurdle you both need to up your game and plan better until you can.

My dad was a 21 year old student with an entry level job at the time of his marriage and couldn't afford a ring for my mom but bought a ton load of jewelry during 50 years of their marriage. I don't think a ring is a measure of a man's worth or character.

Buying jewelry isn't a measure of a man's character either.

I meant he turned out to be a great long term partner and provider.

[Anonymous]

Most women don't measure a man's love in the cost of jewelry. This is not the 1950's.

[Anonymous]

What if ring is being bought with $25K on top of another $450K debt by a big spender to impress your naive fantasies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most women don't measure a man's love in the cost of jewelry. This is not the 1950's.

I doubt any women with above average IQ used that measure in 1950's either.

[Anonymous]

I got engaged without a ring, and then we went together, had a ring designed that I liked, and we picked out our wedding rings at the same time. DH was smart enough to know that it was better if it wasn't a surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got engaged without a ring, and then we went together, had a ring designed that I liked, and we picked out our wedding rings at the same time. DH was smart enough to know that it was better if it wasn't a surprise.

But you got a ring. OP's sister is not planning on having a ring at all.