Adoptive parents that treat their biological child and adopted child differently

[Anonymous]

what'w the worst taht could happen?

[Anonymous]

What's the worst that could happen...? I need to learn how to remove a post- sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a neighbor that adopted 3 russian kids 5 years ago she has no other children. To this day she introduces them to people as her adopted children. She makes me clean up after her. She said to someone if they were her real kids maybe she would feel differently about them. Oh trust me cps has been called so many times for things she has done to them and nothing has been done. She brags that she can get away with anything.

That is shocking!, if I were you I would report her!, I am adopted and my parents have 1 biological sister, she was treated differently to me, and maybe is slightly more spoilt,
but that is because she see items as proof as love, where I have been less focused on that and more focused on attention- emotional support from my parents,
my parents try to keep everything equal but there are four years between us, but even if we were both biological it would be the same scenario, I don't care in the end if my sisster does or doesn't get more then me.

All I care about is wether my parents love me, and I know they do, still being adopted and I was adopted from birth, you always feel different, and I guess I wondered why I wasn't enough, I notice my mom has more of a connection with my sisster, not saying she doesn't love me, just think the way she was brought up was different she had a strict nanny, although I do still question as I used to do chores for my mom just so I could spend time with her sometimes when I was little, and had a nanny who looked after me and my sister , felt like she always chose my sister over me,so possibly she may love my sister more then me, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love me.

I now have my own child she's gorgeous, and my mom and dad love her more then anything in the world.

I guess they wouldn't feel that way unless they honestly saw me as their daughter, I love my family so much, and I am very lucky they adopted me,
my husband is one of three and all three of them were treated differently and his little sister is bit of princess and very spoilt, only girl and youngest .

So I don't think it has to do with gender, age or being adopted, etc.

A child is a precious gift, they should be protected, and not feel like they have to work to earn your love, they should do it because they love you, and they know you love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i am an adopted child and wonder this

i think i developed differently. i didnt have any traumatic experiences because i was adopted when i was a baby.

i dont know my parents always had the harder time dealing with me. i always felt out of place although its not just my family its the outside world too.

i dont know i just found this thread and decided to coment.

I agree. I am Emilee and I am also adopted. I was adopted when I was born. About 3 days after my adoption was final my "sister" was born. I have always noticed that our mom treats us differently. I admit that I have ADD/ADHD but I am able to control it pretty well. The thing is that our mom would treat me differently from my sister who is her biological child. I'd always be the one blamed for everything no matter what it was that happened. Hannah, my sister would always be treated like a princess. She always got what she wanted no matter what it was or how expensive it is. She was always the popular one, the cheerleader, the honor graduate, the perfect angle. As for me, I was always the outcast, the one who struggled in school, and had to work very hard just to even get our mom to be happy enough to get me anything that was expensive or any of that. The few friends I did end up having weren't really "high class" like my mom would want. She always ended up hating who I was friends with just because they didn't wear name brand clothes or nice houses and always told me not to be friends with them. She is always pushing me to be popular, wear certain clothes and all that just so I wouldn't make her and my sister look bad to the rest of the town. Every time I get in trouble I always bring up the fact that she treats my sister better, but she always has the same excuse saying that she get on to Hannah too but I have never seen it to be true. I ask to go out with friends or stay with a friend but she always says no and gives me some silly excuse as to why she is saying no, even if I do get the chance to go out she gives me a curfew of 10 pm and I'm 21 and am perfectly capable of being able to handle myself and being able to stay out late. As for Hannah she can go anywhere and do anything and it doesn't matter what time she comes home. Me and my sister both smoke and drink, but our mom always seems to scream at me for doing it and tells me to stop. I always tell her that my sister does it too and she always says that I'm not talking about her I'm talking you. I have finally gotten to where I'm tired of the difference she makes between us and I've tried to tell her plenty of times and for a few days she'll do better then go right back to the same old path. I don't know what else to do. I've threatened to move out plenty of times but she always finds a way to make me feel bad about it like bringing in the fact that my grandma who means a lot to me would highly disappointed and I have no choice but to stay. I guess I just need some advice or someone that I can talk to about it. I'm willing to listen to anything anyone has to say.

[Anonymous]

I baby-sat for a family that had one older adopted child (adopted as an infant) and then a bio child when they were told it was impossible to have kids.

I didn't see much difference in how the dad treated the kids but the mom was significantly more attached to the bio child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I've threatened to move out plenty of times but she always finds a way to make me feel bad about it like bringing in the fact that my grandma who means a lot to me would highly disappointed and I have no choice but to stay. I guess I just need some advice or someone that I can talk to about it. I'm willing to listen to anything anyone has to say.

move out

[Anonymous]

12:09
Your story might be more common than many will admit.
To outsiders every adopted family claims to be the happiest ever.

[Anonymous]

12:09 move out. It may be because you are adopted, it may be because you are not like your sister and difficult as you described..... Move out if you can.

[Anonymous]

I'm an adopted child and yes I am treated differently than my three siblings (That were not adopted) I sometimes think the person I'm supposed to call MOM hates me compleatly. I have three other siblings that were adopted with me and they agree. I know some kids that were adopted also and they are abused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There in some ways can be two types on families, those who want adopted children and love them. Total respect for them!
But in my case my parents had adopted us unwanted, and we were very much treated differently, biological children got all of the new items, clothes, did no chores, had sports..when we couldnt because they couldnt afford us...and we had to do the housework for all 9 of us..which is bullshit. bad parenting and lack of intelligence. i would have second handed everybodys clothing, no sports, get the fat mother to work to afford more, and the children share all the chores.
I think its due to maturity as well. my adopted mother was 16 when she got married, im sure her maturity and intelligence stopped as well at that age.
Im just glad Im stubborn enough to ignore her abuse and do well in school and go to university be an engineer and make tons of money that they have never seen. I can create my own perfect family instead of be a failure like so many other parents out there too stupid and arrogant to have morals.

I am with you on that. I am adopted into a family with 6 children. My supposed "mom" was married and had her first son when she was 16. Then a few years latter she had 2 more kids.I was adopted with my 2 siblings in 1998, and she is now 54, and were still treated differently. She and my supposed dad say there isn't enough money for us to have every thing they did. I think that is just B.S. She just got a new car and he just got a new truck. They are always buying the grandkids everything they want. As soon as I can I'm leaving there. I hate it so much there that I love school. Any advice. Should I just stick it out or say something?

[Anonymous]

I've heard adoptees say that they feel like they are treated more like the family pet than an equal child. It's a sad situation.

[Anonymous]

One important fact is missing from this discussion: biological children are often not treated the same by parents. One child may have a personality that messes better with one parent, there may be a preference for one sex over the other (as clearly was the case in my home growing up), older child favored, younger child favored, athlete favored, etc.--none are "good reasons" but they nevertheless exist. It is not safe to assume that adoption is the issue. I am a mother of 2 children one child is mine biologically and the other is mine by adoption. I am closer to my bio child due to personality, temperament and interests, my husband is closer to our adopted child for the same reasons. The children relate to us differently for the same reasons. It isn't an adoption vs. bio issue at all and it has nothing to do with loving one more than the other. My DH and I are aware of the natural preferences exhibited by all of us and work to balance time, etc. Relationships are complicated without reading too much into them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One important fact is missing from this discussion: biological children are often not treated the same by parents. One child may have a personality that messes better with one parent, there may be a preference for one sex over the other (as clearly was the case in my home growing up), older child favored, younger child favored, athlete favored, etc.--none are "good reasons" but they nevertheless exist. It is not safe to assume that adoption is the issue. .

there is a difference
An adoptee is not allowed to complain

[Anonymous]

there is a difference
An adoptee is not allowed to complain

WTF Children complain--no matter how they enter a family. What a ridiculous statement.

[Anonymous]

But an adoptee that is treated different from siblings is not allowed to complain
If you do not even know what it feels like to be adopted, don't comment