Who gets to decide what DD/DS call the step parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to start calling the new mom Mama K and see what happens.

The OP said her ex is not engaged or married. Technically, there is no new mom.

Op this is none of his business, and he would get nowhere with a court petition. It sounds to me that he is threatened by DD's relationship with SD. Since your dh doesn't mind either way, let your DD decide. I would be furious with ex for making her feel bad and let him know that. He doesn't control her relationship with SD or what goes on in your house.

Does your daughter understand that it's perfectly OK to have a good relationship with SD, and theycan have that relationship no matter what she calls him?

Yes, it is his business and it his child. Its inappropriate.

WRONG. This isn't any of his business indeed and he can stuff it. He is a man child who pitched a fit that his daughter loves and respects her SD instead of being glad that they have a good relationship. Maybe this moron would be happier if OP married someone awful who caused his daughter all kinds of stress on a daily basis. This is a sure way to have no relationship with his growing daughter when her time with him is not court-mandated.

No, he is the parent. Mom's need to stop replacing the children's dad with their current husband and dismissing dad's role except as a child support check. It's very inappropriate and yes, he should have a say. Child should call step-dad by his first name. Are you ok with your child calling someone else MOM?

NP. Yes, actually. I’m mama and my wife is mom. If we split up it’s quite likely our kids would end up with four moms. Nothing wrong with a child have two moms. Or two dad’s in OP’s case. The ex-husband is way out of line and making his daughter feel terrible for the situation is the worst part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are WRONG. Your child should only be using the term "dad" or any other version for her actual dad. Are you ok with your child calling someone else mom?

I think it is entirely appropriate to call someone in a parental role a version of a parental name. Hence, step-FATHER.

They are caretakers but they are not the parents.

Correct. They are step-parents and play a huge role in raising the kids whether you want to admit it or not. OP's daughter decided that it was a parental role and started calling him papa and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

He is not her Dad. This child has a Dad and that should be respected. Mom and stepdad absolutely are wrong.

Is OP ok with daughter calling someone else MOM?

Stepdad has lived with this child at least since she was around 8 years old. Mom and stepdad didn’t instruct or encourage her to call him Papa G. She did that on her own. As long as “Papa” isn’t what she calls her father, he needs to get over himself. He has made her feel like she did something bad or wrong, angered him, and caused strife for her mom and stepdad. Her nickname “Papa G” apparently is a nod to stepdad’s role in her life and the first name she’s always called him. Her dad never even heard her call stepdad Papa G; he blew up over seeing the nickname in her phone contacts list. No one is replacing her dad. She’s not confused about who her father is.

Mom should have stopped it when it started and the child was probably doing it to please her. Its inappropriate. Dad is asking for it to stop, he is Dad and it should be respected. Of course, it's one tactic to replace dad. It's parental alienation at its finest. Dad has every right to be upset. As a Mom are you ok with your child calling someone else Mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to start calling the new mom Mama K and see what happens.

The OP said her ex is not engaged or married. Technically, there is no new mom.

Op this is none of his business, and he would get nowhere with a court petition. It sounds to me that he is threatened by DD's relationship with SD. Since your dh doesn't mind either way, let your DD decide. I would be furious with ex for making her feel bad and let him know that. He doesn't control her relationship with SD or what goes on in your house.

Does your daughter understand that it's perfectly OK to have a good relationship with SD, and theycan have that relationship no matter what she calls him?

Yes, it is his business and it his child. Its inappropriate.

WRONG. This isn't any of his business indeed and he can stuff it. He is a man child who pitched a fit that his daughter loves and respects her SD instead of being glad that they have a good relationship. Maybe this moron would be happier if OP married someone awful who caused his daughter all kinds of stress on a daily basis. This is a sure way to have no relationship with his growing daughter when her time with him is not court-mandated.

No, he is the parent. Mom's need to stop replacing the children's dad with their current husband and dismissing dad's role except as a child support check. It's very inappropriate and yes, he should have a say. Child should call step-dad by his first name. Are you ok with your child calling someone else MOM?

NP. Yes, actually. I’m mama and my wife is mom. If we split up it’s quite likely our kids would end up with four moms. Nothing wrong with a child have two moms. Or two dad’s in OP’s case. The ex-husband is way out of line and making his daughter feel terrible for the situation is the worst part.

Your situation is different and you are married or together. This child doesn't have two Dad's. This child has one mom and one dad and a step-parent. That is not even close and you and Mom are way out of line. This child doesn't have two moms or dad's. This is not a lesbian or gay household. This is a divorce situation with two parents, and those roles should be respected.

[Anonymous]

I see nothing wrong with the daughter calling her dad, Dad, and her stepdad, Papa G. I think her dad is being ridiculously insecure and I'm sorry that the daughter feels bad about calling her stepdad Papa G. It seems like a big kerfuffle over very little.

The woman who owns the feed store near me is called Mom, by everyone. My grandmother was called Grandma by nearly everyone. My little horse riding students often called me Mama J. And I can't begin to count all the Aunties who aren't really aunts.

Kids can't have too many people who love them.

[Anonymous]

I think you should extend your ex a little bit of grace. Maybe it was a big surprise, triggered him, and he overreacted. I would be upset if my kid called someone else momma, I'd try not to react and care, but, sometimes we don't behave in optimal ways.

I would tell your daughter that she can call Poppa G, poppa g at your house, but that she should respect what her father wants in his house. I assume that he overreacts about a lot of things. Your kid will learn to be more careful with her words around him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are WRONG. Your child should only be using the term "dad" or any other version for her actual dad. Are you ok with your child calling someone else mom?

I think it is entirely appropriate to call someone in a parental role a version of a parental name. Hence, step-FATHER.

They are caretakers but they are not the parents.

Correct. They are step-parents and play a huge role in raising the kids whether you want to admit it or not. OP's daughter decided that it was a parental role and started calling him papa and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

He is not her Dad. This child has a Dad and that should be respected. Mom and stepdad absolutely are wrong.

Is OP ok with daughter calling someone else MOM?

Stepdad has lived with this child at least since she was around 8 years old. Mom and stepdad didn’t instruct or encourage her to call him Papa G. She did that on her own. As long as “Papa” isn’t what she calls her father, he needs to get over himself. He has made her feel like she did something bad or wrong, angered him, and caused strife for her mom and stepdad. Her nickname “Papa G” apparently is a nod to stepdad’s role in her life and the first name she’s always called him. Her dad never even heard her call stepdad Papa G; he blew up over seeing the nickname in her phone contacts list. No one is replacing her dad. She’s not confused about who her father is.

Mom should have stopped it when it started and the child was probably doing it to please her. Its inappropriate. Dad is asking for it to stop, he is Dad and it should be respected. Of course, it's one tactic to replace dad. It's parental alienation at its finest. Dad has every right to be upset. As a Mom are you ok with your child calling someone else Mom?

Dad can dictate speech at his own house on his own time. At mom’s house, not a chance. It’s called being divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should extend your ex a little bit of grace. Maybe it was a big surprise, triggered him, and he overreacted. I would be upset if my kid called someone else momma, I'd try not to react and care, but, sometimes we don't behave in optimal ways.

I would tell your daughter that she can call Poppa G, poppa g at your house, but that she should respect what her father wants in his house. I assume that he overreacts about a lot of things. Your kid will learn to be more careful with her words around him.

He was looking through texts. The daughter didn’t disrespect anyone. Dad needs to realize that having a good relationship with all parental figures (even love) is more important than his ego.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are WRONG. Your child should only be using the term "dad" or any other version for her actual dad. Are you ok with your child calling someone else mom?

I think it is entirely appropriate to call someone in a parental role a version of a parental name. Hence, step-FATHER.

They are caretakers but they are not the parents.

Correct. They are step-parents and play a huge role in raising the kids whether you want to admit it or not. OP's daughter decided that it was a parental role and started calling him papa and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

He is not her Dad. This child has a Dad and that should be respected. Mom and stepdad absolutely are wrong.

Is OP ok with daughter calling someone else MOM?

Stepdad has lived with this child at least since she was around 8 years old. Mom and stepdad didn’t instruct or encourage her to call him Papa G. She did that on her own. As long as “Papa” isn’t what she calls her father, he needs to get over himself. He has made her feel like she did something bad or wrong, angered him, and caused strife for her mom and stepdad. Her nickname “Papa G” apparently is a nod to stepdad’s role in her life and the first name she’s always called him. Her dad never even heard her call stepdad Papa G; he blew up over seeing the nickname in her phone contacts list. No one is replacing her dad. She’s not confused about who her father is.

Mom should have stopped it when it started and the child was probably doing it to please her. Its inappropriate. Dad is asking for it to stop, he is Dad and it should be respected. Of course, it's one tactic to replace dad. It's parental alienation at its finest. Dad has every right to be upset. As a Mom are you ok with your child calling someone else Mom?

You sound psychotic honestly. Yes, I'd be fine with my child calling someone else mama G. Yes, I'd be fine if my child calls her future MIL "mom" or some variation.

Why are you so insecure and stuck on these labels?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

Your writing is quite recognizable as is your improper use of Dad (with a capital D). It’s dad, for future reference. Perhaps spend a little more time being a good dad instead posting on DCUM. It’s quite obvious that you have a lot of resentment towards moms and women in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are WRONG. Your child should only be using the term "dad" or any other version for her actual dad. Are you ok with your child calling someone else mom?

I think it is entirely appropriate to call someone in a parental role a version of a parental name. Hence, step-FATHER.

They are caretakers but they are not the parents.

Correct. They are step-parents and play a huge role in raising the kids whether you want to admit it or not. OP's daughter decided that it was a parental role and started calling him papa and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

He is not her Dad. This child has a Dad and that should be respected. Mom and stepdad absolutely are wrong.

Is OP ok with daughter calling someone else MOM?

Stepdad has lived with this child at least since she was around 8 years old. Mom and stepdad didn’t instruct or encourage her to call him Papa G. She did that on her own. As long as “Papa” isn’t what she calls her father, he needs to get over himself. He has made her feel like she did something bad or wrong, angered him, and caused strife for her mom and stepdad. Her nickname “Papa G” apparently is a nod to stepdad’s role in her life and the first name she’s always called him. Her dad never even heard her call stepdad Papa G; he blew up over seeing the nickname in her phone contacts list. No one is replacing her dad. She’s not confused about who her father is.

Mom should have stopped it when it started and the child was probably doing it to please her. Its inappropriate. Dad is asking for it to stop, he is Dad and it should be respected. Of course, it's one tactic to replace dad. It's parental alienation at its finest. Dad has every right to be upset. As a Mom are you ok with your child calling someone else Mom?

I wouldn’t love my kids calling someone else Mama G, but if the woman had helped raise them since they were little, I wouldn’t make a big deal out it. It’s far better for kids to get along with stepparents than the alternative. This is not a case of parental alienation. Nothing happened to the child’s relationship with her father. She didn’t stop calling him Dad, doesn’t spend less time with him, isn’t giving him attitude, isn’t saying anything negative about him, isn’t hearing anything negative about him from mom and stepdad. You’re blowing this way out of proportion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should extend your ex a little bit of grace. Maybe it was a big surprise, triggered him, and he overreacted. I would be upset if my kid called someone else momma, I'd try not to react and care, but, sometimes we don't behave in optimal ways.

I would tell your daughter that she can call Poppa G, poppa g at your house, but that she should respect what her father wants in his house. I assume that he overreacts about a lot of things. Your kid will learn to be more careful with her words around him.

Sure, let's teach girls to cower to angry insecure men who claim to love them, that's a great life lesson

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are WRONG. Your child should only be using the term "dad" or any other version for her actual dad. Are you ok with your child calling someone else mom?

I think it is entirely appropriate to call someone in a parental role a version of a parental name. Hence, step-FATHER.

They are caretakers but they are not the parents.

Correct. They are step-parents and play a huge role in raising the kids whether you want to admit it or not. OP's daughter decided that it was a parental role and started calling him papa and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

He is not her Dad. This child has a Dad and that should be respected. Mom and stepdad absolutely are wrong.

Is OP ok with daughter calling someone else MOM?

She is not calling him DAD and even if she was so what? If that's what she considers him. Perpahs be a better DAD so you won't feel so threatened.

OP or her daughter did NOTHING WRONG.

It's the same thing and yes, it's wrong. Dad ask it to stop and his wishes should be respected.

It can be respected in his house on his time. He has no say over things like this at mom’s house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

I think the dad is doing a fine job of alienating his teenage daughter without mom’s help. A decent father might have a heart to heart with her and find out why she calls her stepfather this and express how he feels about it in an honest and open way. A good father would hear his daughter out and have a conversation with his daughter instead of throwing a tantrum. She will never trust him and will pull away from him, and that’s all on him.

Exactly!! Very immature and short sighted of dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

I think the dad is doing a fine job of alienating his teenage daughter without mom’s help. A decent father might have a heart to heart with her and find out why she calls her stepfather this and express how he feels about it in an honest and open way. A good father would hear his daughter out and have a conversation with his daughter instead of throwing a tantrum. She will never trust him and will pull away from him, and that’s all on him.

Agree. Bio dad sounds hugely insecure. He needs to reflect on why he feels that way. A mature parent would be grateful that their daughter had such a good relationship with the man she lives with half of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should extend your ex a little bit of grace. Maybe it was a big surprise, triggered him, and he overreacted. I would be upset if my kid called someone else momma, I'd try not to react and care, but, sometimes we don't behave in optimal ways.

I would tell your daughter that she can call Poppa G, poppa g at your house, but that she should respect what her father wants in his house. I assume that he overreacts about a lot of things. Your kid will learn to be more careful with her words around him.

This is extremely disrespectful to say its ok, when Dad ask Mom to stop it.