Who gets to decide what DD/DS call the step parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

I think the dad is doing a fine job of alienating his teenage daughter without mom’s help. A decent father might have a heart to heart with her and find out why she calls her stepfather this and express how he feels about it in an honest and open way. A good father would hear his daughter out and have a conversation with his daughter instead of throwing a tantrum. She will never trust him and will pull away from him, and that’s all on him.

Agree. Bio dad sounds hugely insecure. He needs to reflect on why he feels that way. A mature parent would be grateful that their daughter had such a good relationship with the man she lives with half of the time.

He is not Bio Dad. He did not give up this kid for adoption. He is the Dad. It's NOT ok for Mom to replace Dad with her new husband. Mom needs to apologize and put a stop to it.

You repeating the same drivel is not going to make it any more true. No one replaced dad. He is still there. Dad can't change the fact that his daughter has another parental figure in her life that she respects and loves and the daughter decided to call papa. Because that's what their daughter feels he is to her.

At the cost of disrespecting the dad.

Who cares? He can be disrespected all he (you?) want, it doesnt change the fact that he has no control over what daughter calls him.

I call you idiot. You have no control over what I call you.

You're right! Just like you have no control over what your child calls their step parent. Get a grip, you are slipping out of reality.

Actually, I do have control. You have no control over your kids because only pretend to be a parent.

You think it's a good parent to control every aspect of your childs language? Yikes. Good luck with parenting your 15 year old trying to control every aspect of their life LOL. Delulu.

It’s called parenting. You should try it.

As a stepparent, I’d never allow the kids to call me mom or dad. It’s my first name. As a parent to teens, yes, you can control these things. It’s parenting and taking to them about respect and how the other parent feels about it. And, with a teen consequences are so easy by taking the phone or electronics.

Who cares what you prefer? Obviously OPs DD and her SD have no problem with this arrangement and neither should dad. He is just an insecure assh0le whose ego is bruised and this is just going to push his daughter away.

Dad cares, and it's completely inappropriate. Life does not revolve just around Mom and her wishes. Dad is an equal parent. Mom needs to teach appropriate boundaries.

In her house, it does.

[Anonymous]

The fact that your ex thinks the courts will care about this enough to revise the custody order tells me he is not a reasonable man.

He is upset about the fact that the man with whom your DD has lived for the last seven years means something to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that your ex thinks the courts will care about this enough to revise the custody order tells me he is not a reasonable man.

He is upset about the fact that the man with whom your DD has lived for the last seven years means something to her.

He has every right to be upset and Mom is 100% in the wrong. This child has two parents and he is not a parent. He is her husband. Mom is not a reasonable woman if she doesn't fix this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

I think the dad is doing a fine job of alienating his teenage daughter without mom’s help. A decent father might have a heart to heart with her and find out why she calls her stepfather this and express how he feels about it in an honest and open way. A good father would hear his daughter out and have a conversation with his daughter instead of throwing a tantrum. She will never trust him and will pull away from him, and that’s all on him.

Agree. Bio dad sounds hugely insecure. He needs to reflect on why he feels that way. A mature parent would be grateful that their daughter had such a good relationship with the man she lives with half of the time.

He is not Bio Dad. He did not give up this kid for adoption. He is the Dad. It's NOT ok for Mom to replace Dad with her new husband. Mom needs to apologize and put a stop to it.

You repeating the same drivel is not going to make it any more true. No one replaced dad. He is still there. Dad can't change the fact that his daughter has another parental figure in her life that she respects and loves and the daughter decided to call papa. Because that's what their daughter feels he is to her.

At the cost of disrespecting the dad.

Who cares? He can be disrespected all he (you?) want, it doesnt change the fact that he has no control over what daughter calls him.

I call you idiot. You have no control over what I call you.

You're right! Just like you have no control over what your child calls their step parent. Get a grip, you are slipping out of reality.

Actually, I do have control. You have no control over your kids because only pretend to be a parent.

You think it's a good parent to control every aspect of your childs language? Yikes. Good luck with parenting your 15 year old trying to control every aspect of their life LOL. Delulu.

It’s called parenting. You should try it.

As a stepparent, I’d never allow the kids to call me mom or dad. It’s my first name. As a parent to teens, yes, you can control these things. It’s parenting and taking to them about respect and how the other parent feels about it. And, with a teen consequences are so easy by taking the phone or electronics.

Who cares what you prefer? Obviously OPs DD and her SD have no problem with this arrangement and neither should dad. He is just an insecure assh0le whose ego is bruised and this is just going to push his daughter away.

Dad cares, and it's completely inappropriate. Life does not revolve just around Mom and her wishes. Dad is an equal parent. Mom needs to teach appropriate boundaries.

In her house, it does.

They are both equal parents. What happens in her house is his concern. His child too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

I think the dad is doing a fine job of alienating his teenage daughter without mom’s help. A decent father might have a heart to heart with her and find out why she calls her stepfather this and express how he feels about it in an honest and open way. A good father would hear his daughter out and have a conversation with his daughter instead of throwing a tantrum. She will never trust him and will pull away from him, and that’s all on him.

Agree. Bio dad sounds hugely insecure. He needs to reflect on why he feels that way. A mature parent would be grateful that their daughter had such a good relationship with the man she lives with half of the time.

He is not Bio Dad. He did not give up this kid for adoption. He is the Dad. It's NOT ok for Mom to replace Dad with her new husband. Mom needs to apologize and put a stop to it.

You repeating the same drivel is not going to make it any more true. No one replaced dad. He is still there. Dad can't change the fact that his daughter has another parental figure in her life that she respects and loves and the daughter decided to call papa. Because that's what their daughter feels he is to her.

At the cost of disrespecting the dad.

Who cares? He can be disrespected all he (you?) want, it doesnt change the fact that he has no control over what daughter calls him.

I call you idiot. You have no control over what I call you.

You're right! Just like you have no control over what your child calls their step parent. Get a grip, you are slipping out of reality.

Actually, I do have control. You have no control over your kids because only pretend to be a parent.

You think it's a good parent to control every aspect of your childs language? Yikes. Good luck with parenting your 15 year old trying to control every aspect of their life LOL. Delulu.

It’s called parenting. You should try it.

As a stepparent, I’d never allow the kids to call me mom or dad. It’s my first name. As a parent to teens, yes, you can control these things. It’s parenting and taking to them about respect and how the other parent feels about it. And, with a teen consequences are so easy by taking the phone or electronics.

So now DD gets to call SD something inoffensive. BUT, SD and DD get to look each other in the eye and have a silent conversation like this:

- it was really nice when I got to call you Papa G, too bad dad got into a hissy fit but this doesn't change how I feel
- yes kid, it was great when you called me that, too bad we can't anymore but it doesn't change how I feel

Bet it really stings you that you cannot control what your child thinks.

Wow, you are extremely inappropriate.

You say, Dad loves you very much and is very upset that you are calling stepdad Papa G. It would be better out of respect for your dad that you call G, but his first name.

Not hard to be appropriate.

You can say whatever you want. You cannot control what DD and SD think about this, even if they do as you ask. People's thoughts are their own.

Most kids will do anything to please their moms. Parental Alienation at its finest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that OP didn't nip this in the bud immediately when DD starting calling the stepdad Papa. That she didn't, says more about her frankly.

Maybe she is more mature than you and is actually happy that her daughter has a positive role model in her life. She married well her second time. Good for OP.

If she were mature, she's handle the situation appropriately, which she hasn't so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

I think the dad is doing a fine job of alienating his teenage daughter without mom’s help. A decent father might have a heart to heart with her and find out why she calls her stepfather this and express how he feels about it in an honest and open way. A good father would hear his daughter out and have a conversation with his daughter instead of throwing a tantrum. She will never trust him and will pull away from him, and that’s all on him.

Agree. Bio dad sounds hugely insecure. He needs to reflect on why he feels that way. A mature parent would be grateful that their daughter had such a good relationship with the man she lives with half of the time.

He is not Bio Dad. He did not give up this kid for adoption. He is the Dad. It's NOT ok for Mom to replace Dad with her new husband. Mom needs to apologize and put a stop to it.

You repeating the same drivel is not going to make it any more true. No one replaced dad. He is still there. Dad can't change the fact that his daughter has another parental figure in her life that she respects and loves and the daughter decided to call papa. Because that's what their daughter feels he is to her.

At the cost of disrespecting the dad.

Who cares? He can be disrespected all he (you?) want, it doesnt change the fact that he has no control over what daughter calls him.

I call you idiot. You have no control over what I call you.

You're right! Just like you have no control over what your child calls their step parent. Get a grip, you are slipping out of reality.

Actually, I do have control. You have no control over your kids because only pretend to be a parent.

You think it's a good parent to control every aspect of your childs language? Yikes. Good luck with parenting your 15 year old trying to control every aspect of their life LOL. Delulu.

It’s called parenting. You should try it.

As a stepparent, I’d never allow the kids to call me mom or dad. It’s my first name. As a parent to teens, yes, you can control these things. It’s parenting and taking to them about respect and how the other parent feels about it. And, with a teen consequences are so easy by taking the phone or electronics.

Who cares what you prefer? Obviously OPs DD and her SD have no problem with this arrangement and neither should dad. He is just an insecure assh0le whose ego is bruised and this is just going to push his daughter away.

Dad cares, and it's completely inappropriate. Life does not revolve just around Mom and her wishes. Dad is an equal parent. Mom needs to teach appropriate boundaries.

In her house, it does.

They are both equal parents. What happens in her house is his concern. His child too.

Yet you're here at every opportunity to scream that what happens during dad's custody time and his house is his business.

Okay.

Look, with a 15-year old child, the ship has sailed on mind control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

I think the dad is doing a fine job of alienating his teenage daughter without mom’s help. A decent father might have a heart to heart with her and find out why she calls her stepfather this and express how he feels about it in an honest and open way. A good father would hear his daughter out and have a conversation with his daughter instead of throwing a tantrum. She will never trust him and will pull away from him, and that’s all on him.

Agree. Bio dad sounds hugely insecure. He needs to reflect on why he feels that way. A mature parent would be grateful that their daughter had such a good relationship with the man she lives with half of the time.

He is not Bio Dad. He did not give up this kid for adoption. He is the Dad. It's NOT ok for Mom to replace Dad with her new husband. Mom needs to apologize and put a stop to it.

You repeating the same drivel is not going to make it any more true. No one replaced dad. He is still there. Dad can't change the fact that his daughter has another parental figure in her life that she respects and loves and the daughter decided to call papa. Because that's what their daughter feels he is to her.

At the cost of disrespecting the dad.

Who cares? He can be disrespected all he (you?) want, it doesnt change the fact that he has no control over what daughter calls him.

I call you idiot. You have no control over what I call you.

You're right! Just like you have no control over what your child calls their step parent. Get a grip, you are slipping out of reality.

Actually, I do have control. You have no control over your kids because only pretend to be a parent.

You think it's a good parent to control every aspect of your childs language? Yikes. Good luck with parenting your 15 year old trying to control every aspect of their life LOL. Delulu.

It’s called parenting. You should try it.

As a stepparent, I’d never allow the kids to call me mom or dad. It’s my first name. As a parent to teens, yes, you can control these things. It’s parenting and taking to them about respect and how the other parent feels about it. And, with a teen consequences are so easy by taking the phone or electronics.

So now DD gets to call SD something inoffensive. BUT, SD and DD get to look each other in the eye and have a silent conversation like this:

- it was really nice when I got to call you Papa G, too bad dad got into a hissy fit but this doesn't change how I feel
- yes kid, it was great when you called me that, too bad we can't anymore but it doesn't change how I feel

Bet it really stings you that you cannot control what your child thinks.

Wow, you are extremely inappropriate.

You say, Dad loves you very much and is very upset that you are calling stepdad Papa G. It would be better out of respect for your dad that you call G, but his first name.

Not hard to be appropriate.

You can say whatever you want. You cannot control what DD and SD think about this, even if they do as you ask. People's thoughts are their own.

Most kids will do anything to please their moms. Parental Alienation at its finest.

OP said she doesn't care what they call each other, and that the daughter came up with this on her own.

Dad has 50% custody so it's unclear why the daughter isn't as eager to please him as she is to please mom, in your telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama. You need to stay out of it.

No, she needs to correct her child, tell her to call him by his first name and the title dad is reserved for her dad only. She caused this mess.

The daughter can choose to call her parental figures whatever she wants. This man has an influence on how she is raised. Ger over yourself.

No, she needs to be respectful to her Dad. He is not her Dad. This is the start of mom alienating dad from the child.

I think the dad is doing a fine job of alienating his teenage daughter without mom’s help. A decent father might have a heart to heart with her and find out why she calls her stepfather this and express how he feels about it in an honest and open way. A good father would hear his daughter out and have a conversation with his daughter instead of throwing a tantrum. She will never trust him and will pull away from him, and that’s all on him.

Agree. Bio dad sounds hugely insecure. He needs to reflect on why he feels that way. A mature parent would be grateful that their daughter had such a good relationship with the man she lives with half of the time.

He is not Bio Dad. He did not give up this kid for adoption. He is the Dad. It's NOT ok for Mom to replace Dad with her new husband. Mom needs to apologize and put a stop to it.

You repeating the same drivel is not going to make it any more true. No one replaced dad. He is still there. Dad can't change the fact that his daughter has another parental figure in her life that she respects and loves and the daughter decided to call papa. Because that's what their daughter feels he is to her.

At the cost of disrespecting the dad.

Who cares? He can be disrespected all he (you?) want, it doesnt change the fact that he has no control over what daughter calls him.

I call you idiot. You have no control over what I call you.

You're right! Just like you have no control over what your child calls their step parent. Get a grip, you are slipping out of reality.

Actually, I do have control. You have no control over your kids because only pretend to be a parent.

You think it's a good parent to control every aspect of your childs language? Yikes. Good luck with parenting your 15 year old trying to control every aspect of their life LOL. Delulu.

It’s called parenting. You should try it.

As a stepparent, I’d never allow the kids to call me mom or dad. It’s my first name. As a parent to teens, yes, you can control these things. It’s parenting and taking to them about respect and how the other parent feels about it. And, with a teen consequences are so easy by taking the phone or electronics.

Who cares what you prefer? Obviously OPs DD and her SD have no problem with this arrangement and neither should dad. He is just an insecure assh0le whose ego is bruised and this is just going to push his daughter away.

Dad cares, and it's completely inappropriate. Life does not revolve just around Mom and her wishes. Dad is an equal parent. Mom needs to teach appropriate boundaries.

In her house, it does.

They are both equal parents. What happens in her house is his concern. His child too.

Yet you're here at every opportunity to scream that what happens during dad's custody time and his house is his business.

Okay.

Look, with a 15-year old child, the ship has sailed on mind control.

You can get off your hyperbole with the “mind control” dramatics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should extend your ex a little bit of grace. Maybe it was a big surprise, triggered him, and he overreacted. I would be upset if my kid called someone else momma, I'd try not to react and care, but, sometimes we don't behave in optimal ways.

I would tell your daughter that she can call Poppa G, poppa g at your house, but that she should respect what her father wants in his house. I assume that he overreacts about a lot of things. Your kid will learn to be more careful with her words around him.

Sure, let's teach girls to cower to angry insecure men who claim to love them, that's a great life lesson

This child has no agency in terms of her relationship with either parent. If she is dealing with crazy, learning how to manage them is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should extend your ex a little bit of grace. Maybe it was a big surprise, triggered him, and he overreacted. I would be upset if my kid called someone else momma, I'd try not to react and care, but, sometimes we don't behave in optimal ways.

I would tell your daughter that she can call Poppa G, poppa g at your house, but that she should respect what her father wants in his house. I assume that he overreacts about a lot of things. Your kid will learn to be more careful with her words around him.

Sure, let's teach girls to cower to angry insecure men who claim to love them, that's a great life lesson

This child has no agency in terms of her relationship with either parent. If she is dealing with crazy, learning how to manage them is important.

The mom is using this to stick it to the dad and drive a wedge between them. She is pretending this is all innocent of the child and solely the child’s choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should extend your ex a little bit of grace. Maybe it was a big surprise, triggered him, and he overreacted. I would be upset if my kid called someone else momma, I'd try not to react and care, but, sometimes we don't behave in optimal ways.

I would tell your daughter that she can call Poppa G, poppa g at your house, but that she should respect what her father wants in his house. I assume that he overreacts about a lot of things. Your kid will learn to be more careful with her words around him.

Sure, let's teach girls to cower to angry insecure men who claim to love them, that's a great life lesson

This child has no agency in terms of her relationship with either parent. If she is dealing with crazy, learning how to manage them is important.

The mom is using this to stick it to the dad and drive a wedge between them. She is pretending this is all innocent of the child and solely the child’s choice.

LOL yes moms are just there to stick it to the dad. Look, they have 50/50 custody. Mom has long remarried. They had a good relationship prior to this incident. Why would she want to stick it to him? At 14, most kids are capable of having independent relationships with other adults. It would be weird to live with SD for seven years and develop no affection for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that OP didn't nip this in the bud immediately when DD starting calling the stepdad Papa. That she didn't, says more about her frankly.

Maybe she is more mature than you and is actually happy that her daughter has a positive role model in her life. She married well her second time. Good for OP.

OP can be happy her child has a positive role model and tell her not to call SD any variant of father. This is not an either-or choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that your ex thinks the courts will care about this enough to revise the custody order tells me he is not a reasonable man.

He is upset about the fact that the man with whom your DD has lived for the last seven years means something to her.

He has every right to be upset and Mom is 100% in the wrong. This child has two parents and he is not a parent. He is her husband. Mom is not a reasonable woman if she doesn't fix this.

You're wrong. This child has 2 parents and a step parent. He is allowed to be called Papa G if DD wishes.

Why are you so desperate to control a teen girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should extend your ex a little bit of grace. Maybe it was a big surprise, triggered him, and he overreacted. I would be upset if my kid called someone else momma, I'd try not to react and care, but, sometimes we don't behave in optimal ways.

I would tell your daughter that she can call Poppa G, poppa g at your house, but that she should respect what her father wants in his house. I assume that he overreacts about a lot of things. Your kid will learn to be more careful with her words around him.

Sure, let's teach girls to cower to angry insecure men who claim to love them, that's a great life lesson

This child has no agency in terms of her relationship with either parent. If she is dealing with crazy, learning how to manage them is important.

The mom is using this to stick it to the dad and drive a wedge between them. She is pretending this is all innocent of the child and solely the child’s choice.

LOL yes moms are just there to stick it to the dad. Look, they have 50/50 custody. Mom has long remarried. They had a good relationship prior to this incident. Why would she want to stick it to him? At 14, most kids are capable of having independent relationships with other adults. It would be weird to live with SD for seven years and develop no affection for him.

No one suggested she has no affection for the SD, that doesn’t mean that she must call him papa g in order to have affection. If you think the mom isn’t trying to stick it to the dad, you’re naive as hell.