Spouse hasn’t touched me in months

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I haven't touched my spouse in months. It's connected to how they treat me and take me for granted and tell me everything I've accomplished means nothing to them. Consider that the words you're using with your spouse. If you're using belitting words or affirming words.

You’ve posted before? A quick thanks- a post like this a year or so ago was eye opening for me. Made me reframe how I approach DH. And then over time, he is kinder and more loving with me. It’s made a world of difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I haven't touched my spouse in months. It's connected to how they treat me and take me for granted and tell me everything I've accomplished means nothing to them. Consider that the words you're using with your spouse. If you're using belitting words or affirming words.

This is an often overlooked problem. Other marital problems can result from this and be mistaken for the cause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I haven't touched my spouse in months. It's connected to how they treat me and take me for granted and tell me everything I've accomplished means nothing to them. Consider that the words you're using with your spouse. If you're using belitting words or affirming words.

This is an often overlooked problem. Other marital problems can result from this and be mistaken for the cause.

Hmmm. Or maybe it’s an affair and then the story starts to shift to cover up for it.
Either way, get to marital counseling ASAP and start working through your issues. Tell him it’s not optional. Fix your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I haven't touched my spouse in months. It's connected to how they treat me and take me for granted and tell me everything I've accomplished means nothing to them. Consider that the words you're using with your spouse. If you're using belitting words or affirming words.

I could have written this.

[Anonymous]

No sex or romantic physical touch in 13 years. Have had APs after trying counseling which did not work. Spouse is not going to change or pursue me, I will not pursue spouse. I am here until college for kids. After that I will live alone and all of it makes me so mad and sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:p0rn. If you eat enough Snickers bars, eventually strawberries don't even taste sweet.

Hahahaha, true.

Not true.
You are just looking at Snickers so the strawberries should taste the same.

Unfortunately not - see the book "Your brain on Porn"

[Anonymous]

Interesting that you put "Gay" first in your list OP - is that an honest concern for you?

Agree with the "how are you treating him/how are your dynamics" issues could be a legitimate thing. When I had an AP he shared how his wife treated him - and I knew her, and could see this - and it was exactly this. He didn't want to touch her because she was a B.

[Anonymous]

It was 7 years out of 10 for me. Most in my 30s. Months is nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him/her you need sex. If the situation is not rectified, you’ll find it elsewhere.

That is not a threat if he does not care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your spouse is cheating.

Not always. Low T. Or they don’t like their spouse anymore. Not everyone cheats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I haven't touched my spouse in months. It's connected to how they treat me and take me for granted and tell me everything I've accomplished means nothing to them. Consider that the words you're using with your spouse. If you're using belitting words or affirming words.

Couldn't have said it better. Take note all of you who think that men are simple and just want sex. Just because they're not as expressive doesn't mean they don't want emotional security and connection. My wife's words can make me feel like a conquerer or a failure.

[Anonymous]

These posts from incels posing as distressed, sexless women are tedious. Men will bang anyone - attractive, unattractive, young, old, single, married, none of it matters. A N Y O N E. All they have to be is available, and for the male criminal element, even that is negotiable. There is no secret society of DWs who can’t get their husbands to put out no matter how hard they try. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I haven't touched my spouse in months. It's connected to how they treat me and take me for granted and tell me everything I've accomplished means nothing to them. Consider that the words you're using with your spouse. If you're using belitting words or affirming words.

Couldn't have said it better. Take note all of you who think that men are simple and just want sex. Just because they're not as expressive doesn't mean they don't want emotional security and connection. My wife's words can make me feel like a conquerer or a failure.

Maybe men who embody that should stop posting here, then. Because there seem to be plenty of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts from incels posing as distressed, sexless women are tedious. Men will bang anyone - attractive, unattractive, young, old, single, married, none of it matters. A N Y O N E. All they have to be is available, and for the male criminal element, even that is negotiable. There is no secret society of DWs who can’t get their husbands to put out no matter how hard they try. Full stop.

I will write a dirge for your husband.

[Anonymous]

If you're being honest, are you really into having sex with him anymore, or do you just miss sex in general? Are you getting your other emotional needs met?

Maybe consider asking him to open the marriage.