Why is everything so mediocre around me?(Warning: long rambling post)

[Anonymous]

6:41 again. For academics, a lot of kids will move to private schools in wealthy districts so if you are in public you just aren't around them till you show up at the more competitive music class or sports program

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find where high achieving immigrants hang out. Seriously - RSM classes, private music teachers, etc. Your kid will at least know another peer group with higher expectations.

Yeah this. I find the standards of high income wasp types are sort of mediocre regarding academics and music.

-
Raised by immigrants

I was raised by immigrants and I see things really differently. I think immigrants pound the creativity out of their children with rote memorization. I think Wasps recognize that not everyone is a genius and no amount of pressure or forced math practice is going to turn their mediocre child into one. I think Wasps realize the point of learning piano is to have a fun hobby and sometimes play a song for your friends at get togethers throughout the course of your life, not to impress your mom’s friends or foster her delusion that you have a chance to play professionally at Carnegie Hall.

I think Wasps actually have a much better handle on how to promote creativity and invention than recent immigrants do. That’s why we wanted to be here and not wherever we came from. And didn’t Anglos invent penicillin, the plane, the computer, the telephone, air conditioning, etc.? I’d say they know what they’re doing, no?

Nope, see who is winning all the innovation awards in USA right now:
https://science-fair.org/2023/11/03/thermo-fisher-scientific-jic-announces-2023-winners/#:~:text=Congratulations%20to%20Adyant%20Bhavsar%2C%2013,version%20of%20a%20triboelectric%20nanogenerator.

https://www.invent.org/collegiate-inventors/finalists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find where high achieving immigrants hang out. Seriously - RSM classes, private music teachers, etc. Your kid will at least know another peer group with higher expectations.

Yeah this. I find the standards of high income wasp types are sort of mediocre regarding academics and music.

-
Raised by immigrants

I was raised by immigrants and I see things really differently. I think immigrants pound the creativity out of their children with rote memorization. I think Wasps recognize that not everyone is a genius and no amount of pressure or forced math practice is going to turn their mediocre child into one. I think Wasps realize the point of learning piano is to have a fun hobby and sometimes play a song for your friends at get togethers throughout the course of your life, not to impress your mom’s friends or foster her delusion that you have a chance to play professionally at Carnegie Hall.

I think Wasps actually have a much better handle on how to promote creativity and invention than recent immigrants do. That’s why we wanted to be here and not wherever we came from. And didn’t Anglos invent penicillin, the plane, the computer, the telephone, air conditioning, etc.? I’d say they know what they’re doing, no?

Nope, see who is winning all the innovation awards in USA right now:
https://science-fair.org/2023/11/03/thermo-fisher-scientific-jic-announces-2023-winners/#:~:text=Congratulations%20to%20Adyant%20Bhavsar%2C%2013,version%20of%20a%20triboelectric%20nanogenerator.

https://www.invent.org/collegiate-inventors/finalists

To be smart first you have to have facts pounded in your head at a young age so you understand the basic grammar of each kind of subject and have a solid foundation. Then your creativity will thrive based on what you already knew. In the western world we used to know that until the "education innovators" started ruining everything as early as the 19th century.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find where high achieving immigrants hang out. Seriously - RSM classes, private music teachers, etc. Your kid will at least know another peer group with higher expectations.

Yeah this. I find the standards of high income wasp types are sort of mediocre regarding academics and music.

-
Raised by immigrants

I was raised by immigrants and I see things really differently. I think immigrants pound the creativity out of their children with rote memorization. I think Wasps recognize that not everyone is a genius and no amount of pressure or forced math practice is going to turn their mediocre child into one. I think Wasps realize the point of learning piano is to have a fun hobby and sometimes play a song for your friends at get togethers throughout the course of your life, not to impress your mom’s friends or foster her delusion that you have a chance to play professionally at Carnegie Hall.

I think Wasps actually have a much better handle on how to promote creativity and invention than recent immigrants do. That’s why we wanted to be here and not wherever we came from. And didn’t Anglos invent penicillin, the plane, the computer, the telephone, air conditioning, etc.? I’d say they know what they’re doing, no?

this is a nice counterpoint although I’d prefer to call it “American” instead of WASP since 1st gen kids adapt to it pretty quickly. America’s strength in education definitely lies in its opportunities and flexibility, and the fact that people don’t have to get on a track and stay there from 5 years old. There’s more room to fail and succeed.

that said … I think current educational trends in the US to water down education, especially math and writing, are pretty concerning. we can do a lot better. OP’s kid will be fine, but not kids who need more direct instruction and practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find where high achieving immigrants hang out. Seriously - RSM classes, private music teachers, etc. Your kid will at least know another peer group with higher expectations.

Yeah this. I find the standards of high income wasp types are sort of mediocre regarding academics and music.

-
Raised by immigrants

I was raised by immigrants and I see things really differently. I think immigrants pound the creativity out of their children with rote memorization. I think Wasps recognize that not everyone is a genius and no amount of pressure or forced math practice is going to turn their mediocre child into one. I think Wasps realize the point of learning piano is to have a fun hobby and sometimes play a song for your friends at get togethers throughout the course of your life, not to impress your mom’s friends or foster her delusion that you have a chance to play professionally at Carnegie Hall.

I think Wasps actually have a much better handle on how to promote creativity and invention than recent immigrants do. That’s why we wanted to be here and not wherever we came from. And didn’t Anglos invent penicillin, the plane, the computer, the telephone, air conditioning, etc.? I’d say they know what they’re doing, no?

Nope, see who is winning all the innovation awards in USA right now:
https://science-fair.org/2023/11/03/thermo-fisher-scientific-jic-announces-2023-winners/#:~:text=Congratulations%20to%20Adyant%20Bhavsar%2C%2013,version%20of%20a%20triboelectric%20nanogenerator.

https://www.invent.org/collegiate-inventors/finalists

To be smart first you have to have facts pounded in your head at a young age so you understand the basic grammar of each kind of subject and have a solid foundation. Then your creativity will thrive based on what you already knew. In the western world we used to know that until the "education innovators" started ruining everything as early as the 19th century.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Title 1 inner city elementary school with 65% at risk kids.

She is in 1st grade and reads chapter books like Mia Mayhem and Princess in Black fluently. She's in the top reading group at school but is not the top student -- there is at least one other kid who reads as well as she does but is a better speller. Both kids write well. I know there are kids in class still working on more basic phonics but the teacher has not had trouble differentiating to challenge the more advanced readers.

In math they are working double and triple digit addition and subtraction as well as a host of math facts and techniques that will translate well to multiplication and division (skip counting, take from 10 methods, etc.). DD is middle of the pack in math, not in the top group but not in the bottom group. She thinks math is fun though which I view as a good reflection the teacher because it means she's learning all this without getting burned out.

I think your school sucks, OP. Sorry. I would demand more.

I've lived OPs experience in elementary and found that it was the parents that just filled in the rest of academics and also heard about these magical title 1 schools with all this enrichment at the school especially in DC and wondered why then the kids in those schools were so far behind by high school. They were behind socially, academically, and physically overall so not sure what all that academic focus got them at the title one school in first. OP all I can find from experience is that a lot of people in 1st grade at school are focusing on friendships finding the right sort of kids and parents to hang out with rather than academics and they ramp up academics on their own in later elementary. As for the music, the better kids are in a different program. Same with sports. Certain families will seek out the most advanced after-school program for whatever special interest they and their child has.

so true about T1 schools. sh*t hits the fan in MS. A lot of the parents waxing romantic about T1 elementary schools also do not send kids to T1 MS. Or they have a plan and the money to send kids to a private HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find where high achieving immigrants hang out. Seriously - RSM classes, private music teachers, etc. Your kid will at least know another peer group with higher expectations.

Yeah this. I find the standards of high income wasp types are sort of mediocre regarding academics and music.

-
Raised by immigrants

I was raised by immigrants and I see things really differently. I think immigrants pound the creativity out of their children with rote memorization. I think Wasps recognize that not everyone is a genius and no amount of pressure or forced math practice is going to turn their mediocre child into one. I think Wasps realize the point of learning piano is to have a fun hobby and sometimes play a song for your friends at get togethers throughout the course of your life, not to impress your mom’s friends or foster her delusion that you have a chance to play professionally at Carnegie Hall.

I think Wasps actually have a much better handle on how to promote creativity and invention than recent immigrants do. That’s why we wanted to be here and not wherever we came from. And didn’t Anglos invent penicillin, the plane, the computer, the telephone, air conditioning, etc.? I’d say they know what they’re doing, no?

Nope, see who is winning all the innovation awards in USA right now:
https://science-fair.org/2023/11/03/thermo-fisher-scientific-jic-announces-2023-winners/#:~:text=Congratulations%20to%20Adyant%20Bhavsar%2C%2013,version%20of%20a%20triboelectric%20nanogenerator.

https://www.invent.org/collegiate-inventors/finalists

Those awards are meaningless and political. Call me when an Asian with Tiger parents invents something akin to electricity. So far all I see are asinine spelling bee champions and a bunch of engineers who can parrot what they’ve been taught but have no creativity to actually invent something groundbreaking. Yes, immigrants have more kids in stem, but their stem results are not impressive. You only need one Edison, not a million mediocre engineers who win stupid yearly prizes. I’m not impressed with Asian inventions to date. Paper and gunpowder were a long time ago, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find where high achieving immigrants hang out. Seriously - RSM classes, private music teachers, etc. Your kid will at least know another peer group with higher expectations.

Yeah this. I find the standards of high income wasp types are sort of mediocre regarding academics and music.

-
Raised by immigrants

I was raised by immigrants and I see things really differently. I think immigrants pound the creativity out of their children with rote memorization. I think Wasps recognize that not everyone is a genius and no amount of pressure or forced math practice is going to turn their mediocre child into one. I think Wasps realize the point of learning piano is to have a fun hobby and sometimes play a song for your friends at get togethers throughout the course of your life, not to impress your mom’s friends or foster her delusion that you have a chance to play professionally at Carnegie Hall.

I think Wasps actually have a much better handle on how to promote creativity and invention than recent immigrants do. That’s why we wanted to be here and not wherever we came from. And didn’t Anglos invent penicillin, the plane, the computer, the telephone, air conditioning, etc.? I’d say they know what they’re doing, no?

Nope, see who is winning all the innovation awards in USA right now:
https://science-fair.org/2023/11/03/thermo-fisher-scientific-jic-announces-2023-winners/#:~:text=Congratulations%20to%20Adyant%20Bhavsar%2C%2013,version%20of%20a%20triboelectric%20nanogenerator.

https://www.invent.org/collegiate-inventors/finalists

Sorry you got fooled. Most of their parents hooked them up. It's cool, but not innovation.
- immigrant's kid now grown up

[Anonymous]

Public school is pretty basic. All they care about is if students are “at grade level.” If your student is above grade level, there will be zero efforts to teach them anything new. On paper (which is what matters most to admin) it already appears teachers have done their job with your kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find where high achieving immigrants hang out. Seriously - RSM classes, private music teachers, etc. Your kid will at least know another peer group with higher expectations.

Yeah this. I find the standards of high income wasp types are sort of mediocre regarding academics and music.

-
Raised by immigrants

I was raised by immigrants and I see things really differently. I think immigrants pound the creativity out of their children with rote memorization. I think Wasps recognize that not everyone is a genius and no amount of pressure or forced math practice is going to turn their mediocre child into one. I think Wasps realize the point of learning piano is to have a fun hobby and sometimes play a song for your friends at get togethers throughout the course of your life, not to impress your mom’s friends or foster her delusion that you have a chance to play professionally at Carnegie Hall.

I think Wasps actually have a much better handle on how to promote creativity and invention than recent immigrants do. That’s why we wanted to be here and not wherever we came from. And didn’t Anglos invent penicillin, the plane, the computer, the telephone, air conditioning, etc.? I’d say they know what they’re doing, no?

Nope, see who is winning all the innovation awards in USA right now:
https://science-fair.org/2023/11/03/thermo-fisher-scientific-jic-announces-2023-winners/#:~:text=Congratulations%20to%20Adyant%20Bhavsar%2C%2013,version%20of%20a%20triboelectric%20nanogenerator.

https://www.invent.org/collegiate-inventors/finalists

To be smart first you have to have facts pounded in your head at a young age so you understand the basic grammar of each kind of subject and have a solid foundation. Then your creativity will thrive based on what you already knew. In the western world we used to know that until the "education innovators" started ruining everything as early as the 19th century.

Everyone should read this! My kindergartener is praised over and over for "brave spelling" and never gets anything corrected. Some things really do need to be practiced and yes, memorized. Why can't we correct one or two words per assignment or per week for a 6 year old? It's not going to crush a kid's dreams or self worth. This sort of things drives me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way they do school nowadays is that kindergarten has the first grade curriculum, which is hard for a lot of children. Then first grade has the same first grade curriculum. Then second grade has the first grade curriculum to catch up all the kids who aren't there yet so they'll be ready for third grade, when real school starts. And the kids who are already there are bored while they wait.

Woah this is spot on. We're in 2nd grade and this is exactly what we've found. Our class is doing remedial work with LOTS of pull outs. The part that irks me is that while the other kids are getting pulled out, no other learning is happening (because then those pull out kids would miss the new stuff being taught). The kids who are on grade level spend the majority of their day on their laptops. It makes school such a drag for every one, even the pull out kids. And then every time a new student comes in, the remedial stuff starts over. Just last month we got a brand new student who doesn't speak English and doesn't know how to read/write- and this is 2nd grade! Back to square one for everyone else.

Why can't they separate classrooms by ability? Wouldn't that be the best learning for everyone? My kids are not geniuses, but they deserve teacher time too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find where high achieving immigrants hang out. Seriously - RSM classes, private music teachers, etc. Your kid will at least know another peer group with higher expectations.

Yeah this. I find the standards of high income wasp types are sort of mediocre regarding academics and music.

-
Raised by immigrants

I was raised by immigrants and I see things really differently. I think immigrants pound the creativity out of their children with rote memorization. I think Wasps recognize that not everyone is a genius and no amount of pressure or forced math practice is going to turn their mediocre child into one. I think Wasps realize the point of learning piano is to have a fun hobby and sometimes play a song for your friends at get togethers throughout the course of your life, not to impress your mom’s friends or foster her delusion that you have a chance to play professionally at Carnegie Hall.

I think Wasps actually have a much better handle on how to promote creativity and invention than recent immigrants do. That’s why we wanted to be here and not wherever we came from. And didn’t Anglos invent penicillin, the plane, the computer, the telephone, air conditioning, etc.? I’d say they know what they’re doing, no?

Nope, see who is winning all the innovation awards in USA right now:
https://science-fair.org/2023/11/03/thermo-fisher-scientific-jic-announces-2023-winners/#:~:text=Congratulations%20to%20Adyant%20Bhavsar%2C%2013,version%20of%20a%20triboelectric%20nanogenerator.

https://www.invent.org/collegiate-inventors/finalists

To be smart first you have to have facts pounded in your head at a young age so you understand the basic grammar of each kind of subject and have a solid foundation. Then your creativity will thrive based on what you already knew. In the western world we used to know that until the "education innovators" started ruining everything as early as the 19th century.

Everyone should read this! My kindergartener is praised over and over for "brave spelling" and never gets anything corrected. Some things really do need to be practiced and yes, memorized. Why can't we correct one or two words per assignment or per week for a 6 year old? It's not going to crush a kid's dreams or self worth. This sort of things drives me crazy.

I've love a very strict teacher who has high expectations. Instead we get fun and no expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid goes to a Title 1 inner city elementary school with 65% at risk kids.

She is in 1st grade and reads chapter books like Mia Mayhem and Princess in Black fluently. She's in the top reading group at school but is not the top student -- there is at least one other kid who reads as well as she does but is a better speller. Both kids write well. I know there are kids in class still working on more basic phonics but the teacher has not had trouble differentiating to challenge the more advanced readers.

In math they are working double and triple digit addition and subtraction as well as a host of math facts and techniques that will translate well to multiplication and division (skip counting, take from 10 methods, etc.). DD is middle of the pack in math, not in the top group but not in the bottom group. She thinks math is fun though which I view as a good reflection the teacher because it means she's learning all this without getting burned out.

I think your school sucks, OP. Sorry. I would demand more.

I've lived OPs experience in elementary and found that it was the parents that just filled in the rest of academics and also heard about these magical title 1 schools with all this enrichment at the school especially in DC and wondered why then the kids in those schools were so far behind by high school. They were behind socially, academically, and physically overall so not sure what all that academic focus got them at the title one school in first. OP all I can find from experience is that a lot of people in 1st grade at school are focusing on friendships finding the right sort of kids and parents to hang out with rather than academics and they ramp up academics on their own in later elementary. As for the music, the better kids are in a different program. Same with sports. Certain families will seek out the most advanced after-school program for whatever special interest they and their child has.

Idk what magical title 1 schools you all are talking about. But ours isn't magical. The "enrichment" is just having nonstop tutoring for kids to learn English. It's not what I'd call enrichment. Enrichment = supplemental educational activities to me. Being at a title 1 school means they can't ask parents for any money, so there's never any field trips, playground equipment is old and broken because no one donates to the PTA. Advanced academics?? No, they're struggling to get kids to starting grade level by the time the school year ends. Smart kids have to help the other kids. And because of the high needs population, there's a lot of teacher turnover. I think teachers go into teaching dreaming about classrooms full of kids eager to learn. Instead you have 3 different languages being spoken, kids who can't sit, kids who break anything in the classroom and kids who have never held or opened a book before K.

[Anonymous]

OP back. I know, I know... I am writing a novel here with these posts, but I can't help it.

All the "you need to move now" and "You're in a bad district" replies are so depressing. We actually just moved here because the old district wasn't good enough. People rave about this district. I see FB and other posts desperately asking if anyone at all is planning to sell so they can move into the district for school. It took us over a year to find the housing situation we are in and are finally getting settled. We paid way over list price and compromised a lot of wants to be able to live here.

I did look 20 minutes away at the REALLY ritzy area of Town B (think McLean, Potomac) and felt othered as a minority and saw a lot of bratty, bro behavior. I didn't want DD to grow up to be a brat. So we settled for Town A somewhere like Arlington, Falls Church were there is still a little diversity and I felt she could have a somewhat balanced outlook. It's still wealthy and educated, Benz and Volvo level rich town whereas Town B is very white, very Vineyard Vines and a Benz or Volvo would be for "the poors." I recently drove to the top music school that is located in Town B and is supposed to have the top youth orchestra opportunities and was again disappointed by their low standards. The open house was full of really old kids maybe about to start guitar lessons, or thinking about starting cello. In my mind, a top school starts their kids at ages 3, 4, 5, and maybe 6 at the latest. Age 8 to be "thinking about maybe looking into violin lessons" seems very late for a top school, and I'd have thought they would be encouraged to look at other teachers. The woman I talked to actually encouraged my kid to switch to Suzuki method at this late stage.

Anyway, our current town actually has a good number of Asians, maybe 10%? and also Russians who I know push their kids in a similar way. My neighbors are Chinese immigrants and I know for a fact that they do math supplementation and orchestra for their kids. But we are talking maybe 1 or 2 kids in a class who do this. My DD is that one kid and I feel conflicted and disappointed. I think, am I pushing too much? Should she be on an additional rec sport team with classmates instead of taking instrument lessons or other enrichment? But I'm nowhere near max level pushing and I don't consider myself high pressure. So am I not doing enough? I also worry she is wasting her time and potential by being in this school environment of mediocrity. And I worry she has a false sense of how great she is, based on comparing herself to peers and this relaxed environment.

All this to say... I don't think we can move. Spouse is happy as is kid, the housing stock is ridiculously low, and I don't even know where we would move to, unless into the city to put in private school (Spouse if firmly against) or to Town B. Which again... low housing stock and the rich white entitlement problem.

[Anonymous]

^ Typo
Town is actually 15% Asian